WA Family Court - What will Happen at Interim Hearing?

[Lennon]

I'm not sure that the court will be interested in making that kind of order. Parents are entitled to work, earn a living and access child care.

My ex tried that on me in December (said that she would only agree to the kids spending time with me if I provided proof that I would be on annual leave). The Judge told her lawyer in no uncertain terms that it was entirely up to me if I was on annual leave or not when the children spend time with me, and refused to make the order.

 

[Hoang Trang]

when our children were in my primary care they attended prekindy 2 days a week when they turned 3. All other times they were at home with me and my family

Last year when the care changed she put them in daycare full 5 days a week and this year is 2 days daycare plus 3 days kindy. And on school holidays she will have them in daycare the whole time

I'm a stay at home dad and my kids will be at home when they are not at school.
If she has half holidays I feel it would be best for our children to spend time with their mother rather then be at at daycare or holiday care.

I'm not sure that the court will be interested in making that kind of order. Parents are entitled to work, earn a living and access child care.

My ex tried that on me in December (said that she would only agree to the kids spending time with me if I provided proof that I would be on annual leave). The Judge told her lawyer in no uncertain terms that it was entirely up to me if I was on annual leave or not when the children spend time with me, and refused to make the order.

I understand people need to be able to work and make a living. I think it would be more in the way of consent rather then a judge making it. I can only hope that the kids are with her on the holidays I guess.

 

[Lennon]

In our case, where the judge blasted my ex's lawyer, we were discussing consent orders. My ex's judge said the problem with reaching consent was that his client wanted evidence that I would be on annual leave. The Judge said that it was entirely up to me if I was on annual leave or not and said that he would not be making that order. Consent orders were subsequently agreed, and didn't include the proposed order about providing evidence that I would be on annual leave.

Will your ex be able to work if she is unable to put the children in daycare or after school care when they are with her?

 

[Hoang Trang]

It wouldn't be a case where evidence was needed. It's a proposal I wish to pitch to her and if she agrees, then I would have good faith that she would follow it. But at end of the day, she is their mother and if she chooses not to then so be it. It's rather a case of being upset for the kids not spending quality time with their mother more then anything else.

She has a small home business. I'd think she is flexible enough to stay home for a week?

 

[Lennon]

But you are talking about making it an order, which is more than a question of good faith. Whether the order is made by consent or not, it is enforceable and you could breach her if she did not comply with it.

 

[MartyK]

Do my proposed final orders seems reasonable?

Children live with father and spend time with their mother

- Every Friday evening until Sunday evening and half holidays.
- Telephone communication daily between parents to discuss the kids schooling, well being etc
- FaceTime daily between parent and children
- Children not to attend daycare and any after school or holiday care.

Travel time between school and their

Mothers is over 1hr one way. I want to facilitate as much time as possible but am happy to consent to EOW and the fifth weekend as well.

My next hearing is in late June and the judge has requested our final orders. Also the SEW report will be submitted by then as well

As I'm sure you are aware Hoang, when it comes to orders they need to be practical and cannot be a wish list. They must also be specific to your own circumstances and respective child/ren's needs.

Something I will say, however, is that you are probably best to wait until you have the expert report prior to committing to the final orders sought.

In terms of your current ideas...

I could be mistaken, but I thought your previous orders sought were from Friday after school until Monday before school (not Sunday)?

Telephone daily between parents? If it were me, I'd keep this to only when necessary, and, only in relation to the child. Do you really want to speak to the other parent every single day? If the orders you are seeking are granted, do you really think she is going to want to speak to you every single day?

No day care and before and after school care? I understand your reasoning in wanting the child to spend as much time as possible with mum, and realise this order would also apply to you, however, this could easily be viewed as you trying to control mums day to day decisions making when the child is in her care. Particularly if mum works and you don't. There are approximately 12 weeks holidays in a year, approximately 6 weeks holidays per parent (if half each) and most people only get 4 weeks holidays.

 

[Hoang Trang]

I may not have been clearer in the previous posts but my orders sought are from Friday evening to Sunday evening. I did mention her orders are for Friday afternoon until Monday morning which may have been where the confusion was

Just before mediation mid last year we were civil and amicable. In fact she would call me daily and we would FaceTime our children. But inevitably situations change which I'm sure everyone here can relate to. It is indeed a "wish" that I hope can continue. I want to facilitate co-parenting much as I can. Give her every opportunity to speak to me whenever she wishes in relation to the kids. But hell she hates my guts right now and not something I would persue further if she didn't agree.

I have no problems with orders also applying to me not allowing daycare but I have to keep in mind that not everyone is in my position where they can be a stay at home dad and not worry financially.

 

[AllForHer]

Daily telephone calls between the parents is unreasonable. Mate, you're in Court. Safe to say that things have changed and you need to change with it, so only communication when needed is usually the best way to get back to amicability, otherwise it sounds an awful lot like you want to interfere with mum's time with the kids. Heck, the only way we could get back to amicability was to stop even text messages between the parents and start using a communication book - and that's for a 50/50 arrangement that demands a high level of co-operation to work.

Any communication form is reasonable for co-parenting, but having it as an enforceable order that also dictates frequency is not. A better option is: "That the parents communicate via text message or by phone call in case of an emergency, and that all communication is only about the child."

I would also suggest changing the frequency of phone calls between parent and child to once for you on mum's weekend, and maybe three times a fortnight during your time. Daily is way overboard, especially when the kids only see mum three days out of 14. You want to maximise their time with their mum, don't disrupt it with daily phone calls from the kids.

I would also give up the Sunday night and let her just drop the kids to school on the Monday if she can. The less in-person changeovers, the less opportunities there are for the kids to be exposed to parental conflict. Same with day care. I don't know what it is with separated parents and their aversion to day care, but if mum is supporting her family by working, then it is absolutely best for the kids that she continue to do so.

 

[Hoang Trang]

Daily telephone calls between the parents is unreasonable. Mate, you're in Court. Safe to say that things have changed and you need to change with it, so only communication when needed is usually the best way to get back to amicability, otherwise it sounds an awful lot like you want to interfere with mum's time with the kids. Heck, the only way we could get back to amicability was to stop even text messages between the parents and start using a communication book - and that's for a 50/50 arrangement that demands a high level of co-operation to work.

Any communication form is reasonable for co-parenting, but having it as an enforceable order that also dictates frequency is not. A better option is: "That the parents communicate via text message or by phone call in case of an emergency, and that all communication is only about the child."

I would also suggest changing the frequency of phone calls between parent and child to once for you on mum's weekend, and maybe three times a fortnight during your time. Daily is way overboard, especially when the kids only see mum three days out of 14. You want to maximise their time with their mum, don't disrupt it with daily phone calls from the kids.

I would also give up the Sunday night and let her just drop the kids to school on the Monday if she can. The less in-person changeovers, the less opportunities there are for the kids to be exposed to parental conflict. Same with day care. I don't know what it is with separated parents and their aversion to day care, but if mum is supporting her family by working, then it is absolutely best for the kids that she continue to do so.

Sound suggestions and a reality check. Our biggest obstacle is the distance between parents. On a Monday morning during school drop off the travel is close to 1.5 hrs one way.

I proposed Sunday evening to eliminate some of this as traffic will be at its optimum. Also handover to occur at my family business ( halfway) which gives the kids a chance to have a break and spend some time with family.

Honestly I doubt mum would even commit to Monday drop off as this is one of the reasons she took me to court in the first place. Any other options?

 

[MartyK]

Any other options???

You have a lawyer Hoang, what does he/she say about the likelihood of the children, who are now primarily living with their mother, and have been for a period of time, being returned to living primarily with you? The children presently being in the mothers primary care is a very relevant consideration in terms of how you run your case, and, also with regards to the orders you are seeking. As will likely be the recommendations of the expert report writer.