Hi All.. (@Attibeen
@Tim W @rodw
@sammy01) been a while. Thought I'd provide a slight update.
**Family Court**
1) Went to family court over 7 times. Mainly for total BS brought by my BPD ex.
2) consented to property settlement around July 2021. I accepted her offer (in her favour), then she reneged (typical). So I upped it by $200k so I could just move forward. I was worried about property revaluations going against me.
3) went to final trial day and we got consented custody orders literally just in time.
4) Ended up having psych reports and family report. Psych report completed first. I came out normal (words of the psych) and ex had 'very strong traits of if not the disorder in relation to BPD. Family report writer had benefit of the psych report. The family report was a joke (very feminist) and I let my lawyer know I wasn't happy with his choice. Her report was highly cruised by another psychologist. She went against the psych's diagnosis and said the ex's behaviour seems peri/post natal (despite clear evidence of behaviour prior to any pregnancy) and the report writer did no attachment test (status q and strange situation) to determine attachment to mother. So many other things to mention that were critised by the other professional. So that was a huge let down as it recommended young kids should normally be with their mum and if the kids weren't coping fine with me 5 nights she'd have recommended my boys drop to 1 night a fortnight. It really hurt my case. My lawyer said it was highly unlikely judge would order another report despite its failures.
**ivo and breaches**
1) not sure if I mentioned but cops took out an ivo on her and said (male cop) they'd drop my charges. Femail seargent overturned the male cop and said letter was sent in error.
2) domestic violence charges against ex were dropped. When I asked why, the female cop said "statute of limitations". I replied "but I reported it after 6 months", and cop said "well that's just our decision Mr Johnston". She then said there wasn't enough evidence and I said "but I have a hospital report where domestic violence is noted, I have the ex's admission, I have photos of my injuries, a photo of the weapon, and a full transcript from a domestic violence counciler from that day". And cop said "well then you cancome into our stationary discuss it". When I went to organise that, cops refused a meeting and only responded after I reported them. In Feb 2021 I requested freedom of information on my case which was suppose to take 3 weeks but I'm still waiting.
3) Ex went to cops and said I breached ivo as I contacted her about matters unrelated to children. There was not a no contact order in the IVO. Cop thought there was and charged me with persistent breaches. I then sought to amend the order where I was Protected Person to included a no contact order so my ex wouldn't incite me to breach (ie, text me 100x and if I texted back she report me). Magistrate chastised the police and called the cop a dimwit for misinterpreting orders. The original magistrate who issued revised IVO (when I got kids removed from most of the order clause) also said could contact my ex for any purpose as long as I didn't commit DV. So I got noth the transcripts. Local cop who charged me (the dimwit constable) refused to seek the removal of the charges and said magistrate will handle it.
4) the ex was committing DV (as per the act) very often. I took 33 breaches in each 2021 to the local cop. Male cop interviewed me and said 100% 13 constituted DV. Examples included stealing $200k from my bank account and asking me to pay her mum $50k to get it back. That's just 1 example. Female liaison officer then said none constituted DV and they would not charge. Another cop emailed me, after I wrote to him saying surely taking $200k from my account and then bribing me to put it back constituted economic control, and said "you had a job, you could afford bread, so it's not DV". I've still got that correspondence.
After this I became highly sceptical of police.
4) after getting threated with perceived violence I went to cop station again bring 20 odd charges.male cop interviewed again. Said 8 were definitely DV. Female police liaison officer rung me and said "you again. I already told you there wasn't any DV" and I said "these are all new breaches I am alleging of which you haven't seen". She replied "well it doesn't look that way".. they were. anyway, finally cops laid charges for 3 breaches. The threat of violence and 2 insignificant totally minor ones while ignoring more serious ones. Again, totally hopeless.but at least I had the ex charged finally.
5) like
@GlassHalfFull , I went to self represent knowing I could qualify for free legal aid for cross examining. The prosecutor also said I could get legal aid and if legal aid refused to tell him and he'd see what he could do.well, legal aid refused. When I explained the situation the legal aid chick said you don't qualify. In my 1st mentions hearing for breaches the magistrate said I wasn't allowed to self represent and adjourned case and said I "must" have a lawyer. This is the type of proceduring BS self represented litigant have to put up with.
6) I ended up reaching out to a criminal barrister friend who did it pro bono. Thankfully, due to the clear error by the cop who charged me, I got a diversion. Ex got a diversion too.
7) I keep getting threats from the ex. One is clear breach I don't think cops can ignore. It was post her arrest by pre the diversion so not sure how that plays out.but she was blocking my driveway and when I asked he to stop she said "it's council land and I can do what I want". I haven't reported it yet but she was treating me with jail just last week so I'm thinking of going to cops.
*** interesting events***
1) Nanny went on affidavit totally slaming my ex as highly abusive.
2) I have had kids so much more than court orders as ex struggles. This goes along with what a few blokes with BPD ex's have said. They will fight you. It's about beating you and not the kids.
3) Ex took me to court 'interim hearing' to use family report to get me from 5 nights to 2 nights of my two boys (2 and 4 just at this stage). Yet in the proceedings three month she had given me the kids on over 30% of her days. Totally inconsistent with reality.
4) less than 4 months after final custody orders, she has signed an agreement (is enforceable as has date, signiture, clearly marked as parenting plan) where I get 2 of my kids an extra night.
5) 2021/2022 summer holiday I ended up having kids more than 50% of the time. Court orders are 34%.
6) despite her having $225k cash (other transfers I did for property settlement were illiquid) the judge allowed her legal aid on the basis of domestic violence. I really wanted her request to be defeated as I knew she'd use it to milk the process to flush me out (as I was paying). My lawyer and barrister both thought it wouldn't be granted.
7) I self represented half the time in the interim hearings. I actually wish I did the whole time as the interims really meant nothing. In every interim I was represented I easily could have done it myself. I wish I just used the barrister and lawyer to write affidavit for the initial hearing and final hearing.
8) ex breached interim orders (took kids away over Easter when clearly it was me to have kids). In fact,I had my lawyer write her a letter saying she had expressed an intention to breach and warning her against it. My lawyers then said not to lodge a contravention as judge wouldn't like it. System is f****d.
9) ex often tries to breach or intends to but I'm like a rock. Grey rock. I just say if you do I will lodge a contravention order and this is a warning. It passes her off so much as she can't control and manipulate me outside the law. A weaker less educated partner would often succumb to this manipulation and control and I feel for those dudes out there.
It's a bit like telling someone accused of murder "you're poor and can't afford a lawyer, you probably should just plead guilty now and get yourself a reduced sentence"... 
