And it is very obvious what she's doing as it states in her interim order that she still wants to continue having kids two nights a week until I move houses.
WA Mediation with Ex Concerning Children's Care Arrangements?
- Thread starter Hoang Trang
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- child support mediation school
And it is very obvious what she's doing as it states in her interim order that she still wants to continue having kids two nights a week until I move houses.
It's not obvious what she's allegedly doing, really. What I read is that you had a care schedule that worked for both parties for a year, then you advised you intended to change the kids' schooling prospects, move 20 minutes away from your previous location, and change the mother's care schedule, and then decided to do all of that unilaterally anyway because the mother wouldn't agree to what you wanted.
Correct?
To me, it doesn't sound like the problem started at mediation. You both attended, you pitched your proposal, she didn't agree and wanted to retain the existing arrangements. That's a successful mediation, even if it resulted in no change.
To me, it sounds like the problem actually started when you decided to do what you wanted anyway; that just her compliance was necessary, but not her consent.
I don't understand the recovery order because there were no court orders in place prior thereto and she already had them retained in her care, but it essentially sounds like the previous schedule worked for mum, and the current schedule doesn't, which explains why she didn't pick the kids up for a couple of weekends, and fear that you would not facilitate their regular time with her would explain why she didn't return them to your care. I have no doubt that the two days she's seeking in her parenting orders are Thursday night and Friday night like it was, not Friday night and Saturday night like you decided it to be.
See, the number of nights seems to be what you're focused on - like it's still two nights, what's the issue? But which nights they are is obviously important to you, since you're of the view the kids shouldn't spend any school nights with her.
Likewise, they're probably important to her, for reasons that are not known to us because we are only getting one side of the story. At a guess, it's probably because having them every weekend means she has close to no inclusion in their education, and has no downtime to herself like you get to enjoy every weekend in your life (and I would wager she's not allowed to admit this out loud or risk having the Court told that she doesn't care about her kids).
Add to that the fact that their routine of the past year has been interrupted and that she is probably expected to drive an additional 20 minutes to collect them, and I would be filing for parenting orders, too.
I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but this sounds like you had a working co-parenting relationship before, but don't now because you made decisions unilaterally to change the kids care arrangements. There is probably a reasonable chance the Court will return the kids to your care and order you both to attend mediation in the interim, but unilaterally deciding anything tends to sour the Court's view of a parent because it simply says that you think you're important to the kids, but the other parent isn't.
I think you're also very optimistic to get an every-weekend care arrangement in place from the Court. It's not often that one parent will get all the leisure time of the weekend and no weekdays, because it is not considered even 'substantial and significant' time in accordance with the Familf Law Act.
Correct?
To me, it doesn't sound like the problem started at mediation. You both attended, you pitched your proposal, she didn't agree and wanted to retain the existing arrangements. That's a successful mediation, even if it resulted in no change.
To me, it sounds like the problem actually started when you decided to do what you wanted anyway; that just her compliance was necessary, but not her consent.
I don't understand the recovery order because there were no court orders in place prior thereto and she already had them retained in her care, but it essentially sounds like the previous schedule worked for mum, and the current schedule doesn't, which explains why she didn't pick the kids up for a couple of weekends, and fear that you would not facilitate their regular time with her would explain why she didn't return them to your care. I have no doubt that the two days she's seeking in her parenting orders are Thursday night and Friday night like it was, not Friday night and Saturday night like you decided it to be.
See, the number of nights seems to be what you're focused on - like it's still two nights, what's the issue? But which nights they are is obviously important to you, since you're of the view the kids shouldn't spend any school nights with her.
Likewise, they're probably important to her, for reasons that are not known to us because we are only getting one side of the story. At a guess, it's probably because having them every weekend means she has close to no inclusion in their education, and has no downtime to herself like you get to enjoy every weekend in your life (and I would wager she's not allowed to admit this out loud or risk having the Court told that she doesn't care about her kids).
Add to that the fact that their routine of the past year has been interrupted and that she is probably expected to drive an additional 20 minutes to collect them, and I would be filing for parenting orders, too.
I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but this sounds like you had a working co-parenting relationship before, but don't now because you made decisions unilaterally to change the kids care arrangements. There is probably a reasonable chance the Court will return the kids to your care and order you both to attend mediation in the interim, but unilaterally deciding anything tends to sour the Court's view of a parent because it simply says that you think you're important to the kids, but the other parent isn't.
I think you're also very optimistic to get an every-weekend care arrangement in place from the Court. It's not often that one parent will get all the leisure time of the weekend and no weekdays, because it is not considered even 'substantial and significant' time in accordance with the Familf Law Act.
I really appreciate your time in responding. Has really help clarify and gave me a sense of relief.
If I was given the opportunity to have my kids 7 nights I wouldn't hesitate at all. My down time is with my kids. It may seem like I want to take my kids away from mum but I'm really hoping we can have a good relationship for the sake of them.
I want her involved in every aspect of the kids lives etc. My main focus is schooling. Her boyfriend does not support my kids at all and she doesn't work and is on CL payments. She has never paid me a single cent in CS. I known this all sounds naive but my partner and I both work hard to support the kids. Will the court factor in the financial contribution etc?
Lastly I'm happy to have pick up and drop off at school but what will happen with my step son and his school? Will court order the kids go to separate schools?
Forgive me, but most of your views about the mother are critical and comparative, which is probably one of the obstacles to having a co-parenting relationship where everyone gets along for the sake of the kids.
If mum enjoys having Sundays off and doesn't work, good for her, that's her prerogative. Likewise, her partner is not under any obligation to support your kids, and really, that's really for mum to pass judgement on, not you. In any case, neither of those issues will have much influence on the Court's decision about what's best for the kids. To the contrary, mum could say that she is more capable of caring for the kids on a regular basis because she doesn't work and therefore doesn't need to put them into the care of someone else, such as day care or kindy.
The Court also won't make orders that affect your step-son (or specifically, his schooling). It is concerned only with what's best for your children, not your partner's.
If mum enjoys having Sundays off and doesn't work, good for her, that's her prerogative. Likewise, her partner is not under any obligation to support your kids, and really, that's really for mum to pass judgement on, not you. In any case, neither of those issues will have much influence on the Court's decision about what's best for the kids. To the contrary, mum could say that she is more capable of caring for the kids on a regular basis because she doesn't work and therefore doesn't need to put them into the care of someone else, such as day care or kindy.
The Court also won't make orders that affect your step-son (or specifically, his schooling). It is concerned only with what's best for your children, not your partner's.
