NSW Ex Contacting My Lawyer Only?

[sammy01]

Sorry Atticus, I think you mis read. He isn't even agreeing for the ex to come to his house to pick up the kids.

Matey - I reckon you need to add one more sentence.
I do not agree to your proposed change to a 7pm drop off. This is very late for the kids when they are going to school the next day.

I do agree with him proposing a 7 day notice to request a change - and emphasise that they are requests not demands. I'd word it something like this.

I would like to propose that we agree to a minimum of 7 days notice of a request to change times. I would like to emphasize that it is a request. There needs to be mutual agreement. 7 days notice is reasonable so the children have a solid understanding of when and where they are going between the two houses.

Kind Regards
Blah blah.

 

[Atticus]

Sorry Atticus, I think you mis read. He isn't even agreeing for the ex to come to his house to pick up the kids.

Yes that's true... But I seem to recall that a large part of the problem is that she has been doing just that... Sometimes unannounced & well after agree times... Hence my suggestion. Can't say she wasn't notified that way

 

[sammy01]

yep good point. I reckon it needs adding. It will give old mate something to show the cops if she comes knocking and causes a scene.
BTW Louise Too - park (her) car in the garage. Keep it outa sight.

 

[Louise too]

Dear. !!!

You will need to communicate directly to me about the day to day matters relating to the children and not through my solicitor as the solicitor will not be responding to you.

In response to your request for the time I spend with the children to increased from 2pm to 7pm on Sundays due to your work commitments, I would like to suggest the following:

Girls stay with me alternate Sunday nights and I take them to school next day.

And every other weekend I drop them off at 2 Pm at your house.

This is more fair and reasonable for the girls and us, as it gives us both opportunity to work Sunday evenings and the girls do not have late nights.

I do not agree to your proposed change to a 7pm drop off. This is very late for the kids when they are going to school the next day.

I would like to propose that we agree to a minimum of 10 days notice of a request to change times. I would like to emphasize that it is a request and it needs to be agreed upon. 10 days notice is reasonable so the children have a solid understanding of when and where they are going between the two houses.

If you do not agree to the above, and you are still insisting on 7pm drop offs at your house, I will keep the kids every Sunday night. As mentioned earlier, 7pm is too late for primary school age children on a school night, especially when they are already being dropped off way to late at 8:30pm at your house (due to your work commitments) on a school night.

Please be advised, when girls are staying with me overnight, that I will not be answering the door to you.

Thank you


few potential problems

Do I add the I will be notify CSA and Centrelink of the new care arrangements??

She is claiming that she has to take on extra shift on Sunday as I do not pay enough child support.. (but she is not working and is a lie about work)

What if she STILL does not agree to 2 pm drop off's and still insists that I drop them off at 7PM at her house?????? Do I involve her parents and tell them to pick up kids from her parents???

What do you guys think I should do about child support... I am currently paying $190 per week as well as kids school shoes, excursions, uniforms, text books, sport etc.... so she can have them for 3 nights??

 

[Atticus]

Much better...

Do I add the I will be notify CSA and Centrelink of the new care arrangements??

Personally I wouldn't be mentioning CSA or centelink to her... Red rag to a bull & will probably just be the catalyst of some sort of emotional knee jerk reaction to the whole letter..

Do I involve her parents and tell them to pick up kids from her parents???

If the parents are open to the idea that sounds like a reasonable compromise

I would tend to let things settle into a routine for a while before notifying CSA of any change. Potentially even after your September hearing (hopefully some interim orders can come out of that) .

I also wouldn't be paying anything over & above what is required by law at this point. It can set an 'accepted pattern of behavior' that CSA can say is a manner in which you both intend to support the kids & should therefore continue

 

[sammy01]

yep don't mention or do anything with CSA. Once you have an established changed pattern of care then contact them.

I don't reckon you wanna get her parents involved. If she can't sort the kids it is her job to talk to her parents about it. She can sort her own s**t. After all she isn't helping you sort your s**t.

You have said you'll keep them, don't give her an out.

 

[Louise too]

OPTION B .. drop off kids at her parents if she is unable to agree... may have to send copy of this letter to her parents and see if they can help.. if not they just stay with me every sunday night


Dear. !!!

You will need to communicate directly to me about the day to day matters relating to the children and not through my solicitor as the solicitor will not be responding to you.

In response to your request for the time I spend with the children to increased from 2pm to 7pm on Sundays due to your work commitments, I would like to suggest the following:

Girls stay with me alternate Sunday nights and I take them to school next day.

And every other weekend I drop them off at 2 Pm at your house.

This is more fair and reasonable for the girls and us, as it gives us both opportunity to work Sunday evenings and the girls do not have late nights.

I do not agree to your proposed change to a 7pm drop off. This is very late for the kids when they are going to school the next day.

I would like to propose that we agree to a minimum of 10 days notice of a request to change times. I would like to emphasize that it is a request and it needs to be agreed upon. 10 days notice is reasonable so the children have a solid understanding of when and where they are going between the two houses.
If you do not agree to the above the arrangements will need to go back to the original arrangement of 2 pm drop off on Sunday afternoons. And if you still do not agree, I will be liaising with your parents and dropping children off at your parents at 2pm and you can make arrangements with them, or I will keep the kids every Sunday night. Please be advised, when girls are staying with me overnight, that I will not be answering the door to you

As mentioned earlier, 7pm is too late for primary school age children on a school night, especially when they are already being dropped off way too late at 8:30pm at your house (due to your work commitments) every Thursday night on a school night.

Thank you

Child support - ok - then what do I do about child support when girls are going to school with old shoes and old uniforms and patiently missing out on excursions because their mother refuses to pay?? im only meant to be paying $65 per week according to child support assessment... but we all know that is not enough, therefore i pay her extra $125 per week directly into her account to make up for the short fall...

 

[Louise too]

yep don't mention or do anything with CSA. Once you have an established changed pattern of care then contact them.

I don't reckon you wanna get her parents involved. If she can't sort the kids it is her job to talk to her parents about it. She can sort her own s**t. After all she isn't helping you sort your s**t.

You have said you'll keep them, don't give her an out.

ok ignore the bit in the letter about the parents...

ummmm just hope court changes this and does not want to keep going on like this ..

 

[sammy01]

oops - one more thing.
Maybe add something about agreeing to the 7pm thing, just this week as a gesture of good will and start the Sunday night sleep over from next weekend..

That is reasonable, fair and makes you smell of roses in court.

 

[Louise too]

oops - one more thing.
Maybe add something about agreeing to the 7pm thing, just this week as a gesture of good will and start the Sunday night sleep over from next weekend..

That is reasonable, fair and makes you smell of roses in court.

It is school holidays so i have them first week of the school hols and i drop them off on Sunday 14 July .. so maybe i will say I will agree to 7pm drop offs on Sundays until the 4 August and the girls will start staying overnight the alternate weekends if agreed.