NSW Ex Contacting My Lawyer Only?

[Louise too]

What do u want to know?

How the court decides. Like, more likely lean towards what is already in place. Or change it to what I propose, which she will disagree with.

If I think court likely to keep as is. I think I will need to fight this one re: dropping kids 2 Pm or overnight. I can’t agree with 7 Pm drop offs like she ‘ordered’ Like u said ( dared me ) keep them overnight. And if she comes over I just have to tell her it’s too late for kids and they in bed.
Back her into a corner.

 

[Atticus]

You know she plays you at every opportunity... Is there any time you can think of that doing everything her way has been a good outcome for you & the kids?...

Personally, I would be telling her quite clearly that the times she is proposing that clash with your work are just not possible...Say what you mean & do what you say, no more giving in..

The court considers what is practical. Start how you mean to finish..... Asking a judge/registrar to decide what is going to happen because you both can't is not how you want to go into court. You'll both likely be ordered to undertake a parenting course & come back with a a practical plan..

As far as her coming around at 8 PM or later to collect kids... Once they are fed, bathed & in bed, that's overnight care. If she comes around banging on your door tell her to leave or you'll call the cops. Then do what you say. You know she would..

Just my thoughts mate.

 

[sammy01]

So some history from my experience. My ex went through U'm, oh look, I can't remember how many solicitors. It is a good thing for you. Solicitor shopping is what I called it. OR she is going it alone. Mate I would self rep these days. But I have read lots and spent way too many hours on this forum. But, I reckon if she self-represents you have to stay calm, quiet and poker faced.

I tend to agree with Atticus at some point you kinda have to stand your ground. But that comes with strategy and practical considerations

ok so some questions - and looking to give you some practical short term solutions. Are the kids in public schools? If so, go to the school ask for some lost and found.
Uniforms are pretty cheap at target. Get them sorted. Buy two lots worth. After that, send the kids with a note explaining why they're not in uniform.

So first court appearance - It is likely that nothing will happen. Magistrate will order mediation he might make a decision, but even then, it could take weeks for it to be written up and stamped by the court, she could keep fcuking you around until the orders arrive in the mail.

Sorry to do this to you. But remind me what are you after? Mate I had 5 a fortnight way back when. every Thursday and alternate Fri-Mon. With hindsight, I wish I had Wed- Mon. fewer opportunities to fcuk me around. BUT I think important long term that you pick the kids up from school and drop them off at school. The less you have to see of her the better.

 

[Louise too]

So some history from my experience. My ex went through U'm, oh look, I can't remember how many solicitors. It is a good thing for you. Solicitor shopping is what I called it. OR she is going it alone. Mate I would self rep these days. But I have read lots and spent way too many hours on this forum. But, I reckon if she self-represents you have to stay calm, quiet and poker faced.

I tend to agree with Atticus at some point you kinda have to stand your ground. But that comes with strategy and practical considerations

ok so some questions - and looking to give you some practical short term solutions. Are the kids in public schools? If so, go to the school ask for some lost and found.
Uniforms are pretty cheap at target. Get them sorted. Buy two lots worth. After that, send the kids with a note explaining why they're not in uniform.

So first court appearance - It is likely that nothing will happen. Magistrate will order mediation he might make a decision, but even then, it could take weeks for it to be written up and stamped by the court, she could keep fcuking you around until the orders arrive in the mail.

Sorry to do this to you. But remind me what are you after? Mate I had 5 a fortnight way back when. every Thursday and alternate Fri-Mon. With hindsight, I wish I had Wed- Mon. fewer opportunities to fcuk me around. BUT I think important long term that you pick the kids up from school and drop them off at school. The less you have to see of her the better.

I’m after
Week one. ; from Thursday after school and drop off Friday 8 Pm After taking kids to their sports. As she refuses.
And alternate week from Thursday after school to Monday drop off st school.

 

[Louise too]

I’m after
Week one. ; from Thursday after school and drop off Friday 8 Pm After taking kids to their sports. As she refuses.
And alternate week from Thursday after school to Monday drop off st school.

I just realised I can get kids school uniforms on Thursdays when I see them for the evening.
Just hard on Sunday nights. Missing more work Monday mornings.
And how she will carry on in front of the kids. Don’t want kids to think I’m making it hard for their mum. And kids see her in that state.
But looks like I have to suck it up cause going by ur posts this could be in place for a long time while court is being sorted out.

 

[Louise too]

I just realised I can get kids school uniforms on Thursdays when I see them for the evening.
Just hard on Sunday nights. Missing more work Monday mornings.
And how she will carry on in front of the kids. Don’t want kids to think I’m making it hard for their mum. And kids see her in that state.
But looks like I have to suck it up cause going by ur posts this could be in place for a long time while court is being sorted out.

She knows im scared of her. That's the problem.
I’m now realising This arrangement could be in place for a while even past first court date if i just agree to keep every else happy.

I need to back her in corner via my lawyer By getting her to send email to tell ex ;
no communication via my lawyer
2 pm or over night.
If overnight, ex needs to be pre-warned via email from lawyer not to approach my house or cops called and i will update csa and Centrelink adv I now have shared care.

U think lawyer can send letter like this ?
This is only solution I can think of. ????

 

[sammy01]

Mate I'd like to see you write back to her. Take some time but write a response to her. Post here for some second opinions.
My version,
Dear ex,
You will need to communicate directly to me about the day to day matters relating to the children and not through my solicitor as the solicitor will not be responding to you.

In response to your request for the time I spend with the children to increase to 7pm on Sundays I would like to suggest the following:

Now mate - I'll leave you to sort this. One thought, alternate weeks you keep the kids sunday night.

Another option? Just agree. Maybe this isn't the hill to die on.

The one thing I don't think you can do is refuse. I'm guessing she has picked up a sunday shift (I think you said she is works in a bar?) So she just wont be there, so you're not gonna win that one?

So write a response. Keep it under 400 words. Post it here for some advice before giving it to her. It would be good to get that done before Thursday arvo. But don't sweat.

No more legal advice... life experience advice...

Some sage advice from a man who sometimes vomited before picking up the kids because of the anxiety of it all. AMBIVALENCE. I just read a book called the subtle art of not giving a fcuk... But you mentioned earlier being 'scared of her. There is some stuff you can get from a health food store called 'rescue remedy' give it a go. Mate, no, yoga zen bs here. I'm a beer man. But a few emotional well being suggestions to take the edge off is worth you considering.

cheers

 

[Louise too]

Mate I'd like to see you write back to her. Take some time but write a response to her. Post here for some second opinions.
My version,
Dear ex,
You will need to communicate directly to me about the day to day matters relating to the children and not through my solicitor as the solicitor will not be responding to you.

In response to your request for the time I spend with the children to increase to 7pm on Sundays I would like to suggest the following:

Now mate - I'll leave you to sort this. One thought, alternate weeks you keep the kids sunday night.

Another option? Just agree. Maybe this isn't the hill to die on.

The one thing I don't think you can do is refuse. I'm guessing she has picked up a sunday shift (I think you said she is works in a bar?) So she just wont be there, so you're not gonna win that one?

So write a response. Keep it under 400 words. Post it here for some advice before giving it to her. It would be good to get that done before Thursday arvo. But don't sweat.

No more legal advice... life experience advice...

Some sage advice from a man who sometimes vomited before picking up the kids because of the anxiety of it all. AMBIVALENCE. I just read a book called the subtle art of not giving a fcuk... But you mentioned earlier being 'scared of her. There is some stuff you can get from a health food store called 'rescue remedy' give it a go. Mate, no, yoga zen bs here. I'm a beer man. But a few emotional well being suggestions to take the edge off is worth you considering.

cheers

Ok awesome. I defiantly will get that rescue remedy. Need it.

I will write letter and post on here for advice.

Yes works at bat. She reckons she is working. But it is defiantly not true. Her stories are vague and inconsistent. She was home 430 pm Sunday arvo. Week before I dropped them off earlier again but she was busted at home again. So she is not working at all.
So AGAIN doing this to get back at me. But hurting the kids.

Not sure what to write.
I think I will have to opt to telling her I’m having them every Sunday night. And take kids to school next day. She willl flip out. But 7 pm drop off is too late. And over times changing all the time.
I can’t have late Sunday nights as well. And when does this stop. I think I have to fight this one and not give in.

 

[Louise too]

Ok awesome. I defiantly will get that rescue remedy. Need it.

I will write letter and post on here for advice.

Yes works at bat. She reckons she is working. But it is defiantly not true. Her stories are vague and inconsistent. She was home 430 pm Sunday arvo. Week before I dropped them off earlier again but she was busted at home again. So she is not working at all.
So AGAIN doing this to get back at me. But hurting the kids.

Not sure what to write.
I think I will have to opt to telling her I’m having them every Sunday night. And take kids to school next day. She willl flip out. But 7 pm drop off is too late. And over times changing all the time.
I can’t have late Sunday nights as well. And when does this stop. I think I have to fight this one and not give in.

Dear. !!!

You will need to communicate directly to me about the day to day matters relating to the children and not through my solicitor as the solicitor will not be responding to you.

In response to your request for the time I spend with the children to increase to 7pm on Sundays I would like to suggest the following:

Girls stay with me alternate Sunday nights and I take them to school next day.

And every other weekend I drop them off at 2 Pm at your house.

This is more fair and reasonable for the girls and us, as it gives us both opportunity to work Sunday evenings and the girls do not have late nights.

Thank you

 

[Atticus]

Looks pretty good to me... I may have included something along the lines of a warning, or perhaps a 'heads up' that you will not be answering the door to her after 7PM. Obviously 10-15 mins may be acceptable, but not this 8PM & later nonsense especially when kids are already in bed... Also maybe something in there about a minimum of 7 days (or whatever suits) notice of any changes to those times & that they need to be agreed upon. No more kids being dropped off out of the blue