NSW Ex Disrupting Shared Care - Call FACS?

[Louise too]

Thank you for everyone’s response.
I dropped off kids last night with $100 as it was confirmed with csa that she had not been paid child support last 4 weeks as payments went missing somehow I deleted the reference number and therefore csa did not where to allocate funds.
Csa confirmed she will paid this Thursday lump sum. So she wanted $100 to get her through until then.
Work is started to get annoyed because I sometimes can’t turn up due to ex refusing to take kids. And I’m sub contractor. So I only get paid when I work. And I have to take morning off work to take kids to school.
I start work at 5 am.
I currently have kids about 120 nights per year.
So if she keeps this up it may go over 127 nights.

In addition she has ask to be paid c/s $250 per week through private collection.
The

 

[Louise too]

Therefore I’m
Thinking using this as a bargaining tool.
For example if she refuses kids or threatens not to have them long period of time or if kids asking to play school sport or excursion her Paynents will either cease or reduced ?
I honestly don’t know what to do ?
I’m going to lawyer appt. this arvo.

 

[Atticus]

You want to be very careful setting a 'standard' of paying over and above your assessed amount and for things that you don't need to pay for... CSA can use that against you in the future if you stop paying those things... Ask your lawyer about it. Have him explain..

 

[Louise too]

Oh no. I never thought about that. I just saw lawyer this afternoon. I’m so annoyed. Complete waste of time.
They are asking for more bank statements with certain payments made to ex to be highlighted. When I have already supplied financials and even given them seperate docs where I have shown them separately what I have paid her.
Also another budget.
And to sit down with our fathers to help sort out parenting plan and child support.
In meantime I still have to manage her behaviour and try and keep work happy and try and pay all these bills
It’s all honestly too much. Absolute no support and I feel trapped

 

[Tremaine]

I’m just thinking about other ‘in the meantime’ options for dealing with the problem you’re facing courtesy of mum.

Do you have any before/after-school care services in your area? Many of them offer casual placements, so they will take kids on short notice and will only charge fees for days that they’re actually attending. It might be worthwhile enrolling the kids for casual placement so you have somewhere to take them on the days that mum isn’t playing ball, rather than letting it interfere with your work commitments. You would most likely also be eligible for the child care subsidy, so there’s a good chance that the cost of before/after-school care would be cheaper than whatever you seem to be paying mum for the privilege of giving her a few nights off from parent duty.

 

[Louise too]

Thank you. I will definitely look into before after school care. Problem is I start at 5 am every morning. I was thinking hiring nanny ? I have no idea ? Or do I move so my girlfriend (2 hours away ) can help. But will be hard for kids.

 

[sammy01]

WARNING - WARNING - I offered the ex some extra $$$. I called it the honey pot - money to keep things sweet. She decided the extra wasn't enough, she wanted more honey.... oops money, but you get the drift. She worked out the scam real fast and could swap between being naughty and being nice based on what was in my wallet....

Madness...

 

[Louise too]

Ok. I already pay more than required to ex support. Sorry child support. I pay the following ;

$250 child support (assessed at $180)
$151 out of school sport
All school excursions, text books, school sport, school photos, school uniforms. Shoes etc
Dental

Child support private arrangement :
She now wants to be paid $250 under private arrangement so she can get paid weekly.
I’m thinking agreeing, provided she stops with parent alienation , stop refusing children and amending drop off times due to her being tired etc, and to stop exchanging money in order for me to drop off children etc. otherwise child support payment will either be reduced or cease asap.

Lawyer ;
Really concerned about lawyer , she ask if I can pay more child support !!! And in same sentence admitted my ex is unfit mother and should not have children full time !!!! But gave me no advice on how to get kids full time !!! and left it at that. Only that we should arrange mediation with our fathers !!!
Now more time off work. My car as broken down this morning. So again lost hours with work.
Due to all the Above expenses I am unable to pay more off my tax debt, that ex did not pay while we were together , and fix my car as I’m already on payment plan with mechanics when gear box broke. The money I’m paying is stopping me move on with my life and to get ahead, and loose of work/ money due to ex playing games

Settlement ;
ex was under impression she was getting $ 130 000 , but she just received letter of offer from my lawyer adv due to matramonial tax debt and accountants debt and to repay car debt to my parents she is only getting $40 000.
She sent me abusive text to liquidate. !
So I have feeling her behaviour will get worse because I refuse to liquidate. !! Although with all this stress I feel will be easier for peace and quiet

Please please help me.

 

[Louise too]

If I decide to take children full time due to u fit mother as she can’t provide finaiancally and her recent suicide attempts. Are there urgent orders that can go through court.
Still trying to decide if facs is an avenue ?

 

[Atticus]

My opinion is still that FACS is probably your best and the speediest way of having the issue of the mothers BEHAVIOUR brought to her doorstep... I would be trying that first before looking at going to court for full time care.

FACS won't cost you anything and apart from talking to mum about her erratic care as in dropping them off without notice for any length of time, they will also talk to her about support and what may be available..

If that fails and her behavior continues then perhaps look at urgent orders. Then you will also have any relevant findings from FACS to include in your affidavit