NSW Partner's Ex Refusing Visitation until Consent Orders are in Place?

[sammy01]

Am I right in thinking she doesn't have a solicitor? So how much of your money has she managed to waste by writing to your solicitor? Either pay for your solicitor to file for court or do it yourself.

Theoretically, you need the mediation certificate prior to court, but solicitors know how to circumvent that rule. A court may want a psych report but it will be neutral, she won't get to choose who the psych is.

Look she is a nutter - the only way to get anywhere is to force her hand, up till now she has been playing you. But nutters hate being told what to do. I'm willing to bet she will agree to consent orders because she won't want the magistrate dictating the rules...

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Urgh!!! So true. She really is making us waste our time and money.

We'll still be working towards court and I do hope the magistrate accepts our urgent request for dispensing the certificate. I guess only time will tell. She's a piece of work! And you're definitely right that she would hate the magistrate telling her what to do as she's always right in her eyes.

My partner has only just started a new job so we have to wait a couple of weeks before we can apply for a loan to pay the lawyers for court. So many complications!

 

[AllForHer]

If you have to wait anyway, you may as well speak to RA about another family dispute resolution conference. Better to be safe than sorry, and besides, the judge may make orders for another conference anyway, but is less likely to do if you have a long history of attempting it.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

So frustrating that after all this time and money, we're virtually back to square one. I guess we're not the only people this has happened to, though.

Would I be right in saying that whenever the child's welfare (mentally and/or physically) is concerned, RA has a duty of care to investigate anyway? So the ex would be getting what she wanted by having a report done, it just may not be with the psychologist she wanted?

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Sorry, also - with regards to the circumstances that court would allow proceedings without a certificate. Those only include either 'urgency' or 'DF/abuse', so would the ex's allegations of abuse count even if we do not agree that her allegations are fact? Or would abuse also mean psychological abuse such as what she mentions regarding their daughter needing a psychological assessment?

 

[speck1]

Just had a read. Haven't been on here in a while.

Your case is so similar to mine. We still haven't got anywhere and still getting denied access.

At the point of giving up.

She wants mediation for a fourth time to agree on "three or four things" before she signs consent orders, but can't agree through email with her lawyer

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Sorry to hear you're still getting messed around and haven't really progressed @speck1. It really does drain all your hope and patience.

We're at the point now where the ex has sent the consent orders back signed but insists on filling out that there has been family violence in the presence of the daughter so our lawyers are waiting for her to advice specifics so they can insert it and then send her a copy of that part of the order to then sign and send back, and then we'll do our part and send it off for the courts to finalize.

Now whether or not something happens between now and then, who knows. What makes me nervous is once it goes to court for finalization that the magistrate will, of course, question the family violence and it's really her word against my partner's, and I don't know how that will go with seeing their daughter.

You feel like you're getting somewhere and then another spanner gets thrown in the works.

 

[speck1]

Sounds like you have moved forward a tad anyway, but will have no money at the end.

You sound like a very supportive partner.

Mine has all but given up and we are fighting because of it.

 

[AllForHer]

@Hpflstpmum - the notice of family violence won't halt passage of the consent orders. Basically, an agreement about consent orders is the parent stating "I concede there is no unacceptable risk to the child of family violence, abuse or neglect". For the record, it's a legal requirement that a notice be provided when filing for consent orders, but if, for example, the allegation is that the children witnessed family violence once a long time ago, or the accompanying orders include clauses for no denigration and limitation of in-person contact between the parents, then the court will consider the allegations to be a non-issue.

If the allegations are that the child has been sexually abused by the other parent, and the orders still stipulate that the children spend time with that parent, then you have a problem.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

@speck1 Yes, we have moved forward after over a year of fighting but it's very small. I guess we have to take what we can get at times and rule any victory, however, small as a victory of some kind.

Thank you. I try to be supportive. Don't get me wrong, we've fought a lot about this but every time I feel like giving up I think about his daughter and feel it's the only option to keep going as I love her like my own child and wouldn't want her to know we'd given up.

It's definitely been a strain financially but we've managed. It's lucky my partner has a job otherwise, we wouldn't be where we are now. Try not to lose hope. I know it's easier said than done, and we've probably all been where you are but its worth it.

@AllForHer Thank you for clarifying. The family violence is purely between my partner and his ex, with their daughter being witness to it. Sadly, though, the mother is claiming my partner dragged their daughter down the stairs (an extreme exaggeration) and is claiming that as abuse but we're unsure if she will be putting that in the annexure. She's as up and down as a yo-yo with us that one minute she's being co-operative and the she's saying my partner has done this and that to her.

Anyway, it's good to know that information about when the violence is considered a non-issue. Certainly gives us hope of the orders being granted without any unnecessary delay.