NSW Partner's Ex Refusing Visitation until Consent Orders are in Place?

[Hpflstpmum]

Thanks @speck1. How is everything going for you?

Our lawyers are saying they won't submit the consent orders as they believe that by doing so when the judge questions the family violence that the ex will say she has only agreed because we would take her to court if she didn't so in other words she was under duress. Sigh. And that she is an uneducated self-represented litigant while we have a hired lawyer.

After discussing our options with our lawyers, we've been told we can self-represent to submit the application for consent orders and then when the judge sends us a requisition (sorry if my terminology is incorrect), we would then seek help from our lawyers around submitting an affidavit in response.

Apparently, we just submit the application without any affidavit to begin with but we so submit the consent order and application including the annexure with our version of events relating to the ex's family violence allegations.

Only after that will we see if the judge will grant the order. This is just ridiculous, though. It's going on for far too long.

According to our lawyers, by both parties being self-represented, we have a better chance at getting the order accepted. I don't know what to believe!

The only other option would be to take her to court but we don't have the money and my partner is just so discouraged by it all he's almost ready to give up. I'm just putting all my faith in this application by self-representing.

 

[speck1]

We have agreed on consent orders.

Waiting on the draft and then we will sign (hopefully) the 4th attempt.

50/50 chance, I reckon. Crazy/mentally ill people do weird stuff.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Hallelujah! That's great news! I hope it all gets finalised at court and you can finally get that relationship back!

We've technically 'agreed' but she still has to sign and then we send off to court. We're now going to do that ourselves. Saves us a lot of money and apparently more of a chance of getting it granted than if we were represented. Go figure.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Update from me:

We finally have in our hands the signed consent orders with the annexure from the ex about her accusations of family violence.

We're still filing the application ourselves but have received help from our lawyer for our annexure. Our lawyers are still doubtful the orders will be granted and have warned us that it is highly likely we will have to do an affidavit as the magistrate will question the family violence.

I just hope it doesn't take too long for the questions to be sent to us and the magistrate still sees that we are genuine and safe enough for my partner's daughter to come see us.

We are filing on Friday.

 

[speck1]

Good luck - I still haven't received draft orders/minutes from her lawyer 22 days on.

I'm a bit pissed.

 

[sammy01]

But what do you write in your affidavit? That you've agreed to have the annexure relating to DV added just to appease the ex?

And what happens when the ex still refuses because she doesn't have her stupid declaration of guilt on your part to hang on her wall? Because the courts are not gonna rubber stamp consent orders that include a statement regarding un-tested allegations of violence.

Go to court.

Specks1 - Go to court -

You're both being played

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Thanks @speck1 it took two weeks for the ex to sign the paperwork.

@sammy01 Do you really think the magistrate won't grant orders after sending a requisition in order to clarify the supposed violence she has accused my partner of?

I've spoken to a few people in a similar situation who have said that the magistrates they've had have only questioned something that would relate to the child/children directly, otherwise, it's he said she said. They've also said they have dealt with allegations of abuse and the magistrates haven't taken any notice unless they can obtain evidence and/or witnesses for proof to back it up. Regardless, I know it's a gamble but we're putting our faith in the system (haha I know) and our lawyers will be helping us with the affidavit.

 

[sammy01]

Sorry just checking - is that answering a question on the application for consent papwerwork? If so, don't worry.

If it was that the mum wants there to be some sort of admission of guilt inside the actual consent orders, my concern would be that it could get knocked back just because that is not the sort of thing that should be placed inside the consent orders...

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Sorry @sammy01 I must have not explained myself properly when I posted. This is just the application for consent orders and she is has filled out part c of the annexure which asks to explain briefly any instances she feels applicable that relate to her ticking that there has been or is a chance of family violence between either herself and my partner or their daughter and my partner (she's ticked yes to both). So she's just put in her stories there accusing my partner of hurting her, etc.

There's definitely no admission of guilt at all. My partner's lawyers have assisted in his own explanation whereby he doesn't mention any violence at all and says he definitely hasn't hurt their daughter directly, only that she's been present during arguments. Also that the allegations she's made are pretty much obsolete because they don't have contact with each other and live in different states so the risk is next to none of their daughter having witness it any of it ever again.

I'm just hoping the judge sees that all her stories aren't applicable to the consent order as their daughter hasn't been hurt and it's all her word against my partner's.

 

[AllForHer]

Basically, it's a trend that if there was an unreasonable risk of violence to the child, there wouldn't be an agreement for consent orders involving unsupervised care arrangements.

If she's agreed to unsupervised, overnight time, then the risk mustn't be that unreasonable.