I'm going to be blunt, she doesn't want that with you. And some of what you've written could be used in court to demonstrate control. The most important thing is your relationship with your kids. Protect that and yourself from IVO's and act accordingly. The deck is stacked and not in your favor.
VIC What to Do with Interim Intervention Order?
- Thread starter GlassHalfFull
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I'm going to be blunt, she doesn't want that with you. And some of what you've written could be used in court to demonstrate control. The most important thing is your relationship with your kids. Protect that and yourself from IVO's and act accordingly. The deck is stacked and not in your favor.
In Victoria, I disagree. If the IVO names the children as protected persons it means you're in for a hard time. It means that for 12 months or 2 years there may well be a no contact order with the kids, ESPECIALLY if the IVO final hearing is after the family law parenting orders. Adapt to the new rules, or lose access just because you annoyed the ex.
Failing to get the right advice and assistance means it is becoming easier for some parents to lose access. It is becoming less DIY, at least while the new rules are being tested in courts.
The game has changed, in Victoria anyway.
Miguel, not sure what you mean. I of course already know her intentions. I'm just whinging about them really, I don't expect to be able to change her mind at this point. 
Also, what do you mean "And some of what you've written could be used in court to demonstrate control".
Do you mean the court would read this thread and identify me and use this discussion against me? Or do you mean what I've described of my wife could be used to demonstrate her attempts to control the situation/me when we go to court?
Also, what do you mean "And some of what you've written could be used in court to demonstrate control". Do you mean the court would read this thread and identify me and use this discussion against me? Or do you mean what I've described of my wife could be used to demonstrate her attempts to control the situation/me when we go to court?
That almost certainly won't happen in my case, because my IVO case will likely be sorted long before my final family court hearing (which, if it goes all the way to a final hearing, is 18-24 months away according to current waiting times, I understand?).
Are you saying though that if I decide to contest my IVO and while waiting for the final IVO hearing, the family court makes a final order, and then my IVO goes to a final hearing and a final order is made there, that it could immediately override my family court order which has taken countless tens of thousands of dollars to reach? What a ridiculous legal system. That does seem to incentivise settling an IVO quickly rather than contesting it, because at least you know the magistrate is not going to put any additional orders in place that could jeopardise family court orders.
Yes
It can and should be better. The problem here is that reasonable people are being caught in a system that is trying to prevent deaths and gross physical and mental abuse through new laws covering situations where it is difficult obtaining evidence of what happens behind closed doors.
Correct.
I would hope that you would have the opportunity to explain to the magistrate the consequences of the order for your existing family court orders, and for him/her to be reasonable in creating them. But I've started to become accustomed to a legal system in which fairness to the respondent is less important than fulfilling political goals so as to be seen as 'tough on violence'.
When you say 'new laws' or 'amendments', what are you referring to specifically? How new are they and what exactly do they involve? Is there a legal article that explains them?
My lawyer hasn't given me much advice on how to proceed with the intervention order other than that it probably won't be a major factor in my Family Court case because every second case has an IVO attached to it and the judges tend to be savvy to their use as a strategic tool. But if indeed there is the potential to completely override the family court, I need to take seriously whether to contest it or not.
So, my understand of the situation is that I have an interim order against me, made ex parte. And that interim order will remain until I either agree to it without admission in which case it becomes final, or I contest it and it goes to a contested hearing. And if I contest it and if my contesting fails, does that means the magistrate automatically creates a new final order, right? He doesn't just 'convert' the existing interim order to a final order to continue for 12 months and therefore it's not a new order? And that would constitute a new order that would override the family court order, even though it's effectively just a continuation of the interim order which was created before the family court order with no additional conditions other than a fixed term?
Or does it only become in effect a new order (in terms of overriding the family court) if there are additional conditions in place (lets say the judge thinks actually I'm more of a danger than in the initial order and puts additional conditions)? Do you see the distinction I'm making here? I guess in summary I'm asking whether the cancellation of the interim order and subsequent creation of a final order automatically overrides the family court order, or is it only in cases where there is a new IVO or new conditions that would cause this? And is this distinction at a magistrate's discretion or is it something completely out of his hands?
Miguel, not sure what you mean. I of course already know her intentions. I'm just whinging about them really, I don't expect to be able to change her mind at this point.
Saying things like 'I of course already know her intentions', 'I want to know what is going on with my children while they're at my ex's house', 'I want her to know what's going on with them while they're with me' demonstrates you are controlling.
It is possible for a party to subpeona content on the Internet, it happens all the time. Them proving you are the author is simple. But it is time consuming and therefore expensive and if speculative it doesn't make sense. But if she knows you post here and your username then why wouldn't she? Be careful.
You'll eventually get over the ex, just make sure you've got your kids.
I think you completely got the wrong end of the stick there. I already know her intentions because of how she has acted thus far. I think that's just basic insight. Knowing someone's intentions is very different to trying to control her intentions.
And what I meant was that I would like to know what is going on in my children's lives as their father, not just the part when they're with physically with me, because that may well be just a tiny fraction of their full lives (we will see). Just like I'd like to know what they got up to when they were at their grandparents or at daycare or whatever. I don't think that's remotely controlling, simply being caring interested. If you'd like to know how your children's day at school was, is that controlling too? Or are you simply interested in their education? That's the point I was trying to make.
If you're going to take that line, then maybe every parent who wants to see their children is controlling... In any case, I am over the ex for the most part, and have no desire at this point to get back with her or be involved in her life. As I said, what I wish for is for us to be able to co-parent without issues, but I accept that right now it isn't a possibility. I just would like, for the sake of karmic justice, for her to know what it is like to be on the receiving end of her actions. I don't see that as controlling either. But hey, just my two cents.
You should. I say 'should' because in theory you get the opportunity, but sometimes it is forgotten about.
Good, acceptance allows you to concentrate on the important things.
This is correct as far as Family court goes.
Correct, you do need to take IVOs seriously. They have much more teeth than in years gone by when seeking parenting orders in the Family Courts.
Not quite accurate. You have interim orders. Then the matter if contested goes to a final hearing. At this point if the party requesting the IVO wins, the magistrate looks at their proposed final orders, which can be the same as interim orders, or can be different. The magistrate may accept as is, or vary the requested orders. Either way, using your terminology, 'new' orders are created.
The magistrate may look at the family court orders and say, 'hmmm, family situation has now changed since the family court hearing, risk of family violence against the kids is too high, I'll restrict contact'. If this happens you are likely 'stuffed'. If the magistrate fails to consider the family court orders you probably have grounds for an appeal to the County Court.
So, IVO orders need careful consideration and consent orders can be a way of settling the matter without impacting on family court orders. Fighting an IVO now carries more risk than it used to.
Sorry, I don't have a consolidated list of changes. Both Federal and state laws dealing with family violence have changed multiple times in the last few years. The emphasis on the changes is to stamp out family violence, which they are doing by making it easier for the courts to separate the antagonistic parties. This has opened the door to more abuse of the system by some parents all too willing to use the new 'improved justice system' as a tool for their own base personal desires against their ex.
We are now seeing instances where people abusing the system are having kids taken off them because they can't and won't co-parent, but in my view more still needs to happen. When someone, anyone, is proven to have lied in an affidavit in order to deprive a parent of access, they should be denied parental responsibility for a period of time and ordered to undertake parenting courses which they MUST successfully complete before being given another chance at shared parenting.
Bottom line: If kids are on the IVO, take the IVO seriously, give it proper consideration, budget money to it, and get some good legal advice.
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I was at court yesterday, it would be an excellent idea for you to visit one.
The points a male in your situation should make is how you're a good father, I know my kids date of birth, I know their best friends names, when they stay with me I take them to their weekends sports. I know x is good at y but not so good at j. I help with their schooling when they stay with me insisting they do their homework, I care for them ensuring they have a nutritious meal including fruit and vegetables. Their mother and I can't get along but I ensure the kids are taken to their normal weekend sports.
Their mum has asked to keep their mouthguards as she wants to keep them in their original packaging per the dentists directions so I ensure the kids give their mouthguards back to their mother after the game. I attend parent teacher interview with their mum as the kids respect this (if the order allows) etc...
For those who are interested the ex withdrew her application yesterday. I spent the day watching FV proceedings.
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