NSW Partner's Ex Refusing Visitation until Consent Orders are in Place?

[Hpflstpmum]

Absolutely new orders. Although, we thought the ones we currently had were sufficient and fair for their daughter but obviously it's not working.

Noted. We'll do that.

That's what I thought - speculation. She still hasn't physically seen her dad yet since October 2014. She's had one FaceTime with him since the orders have been granted. Every phone call has been upbeat and she's been clearly happy to talk to her Dad. However, as soon as her behaviour at school changed this week, she's become distant. Now just last night even saying her mum says she doesn't have to talk to him if she doesn't want to.

We're still interstate and will be for some time due to work which is part of the reason we needed the consent orders. Apart from that, there's no reason at all. We would love to have had her from the beginning.

 

[AllForHer]

Remind me again how old the child is? Eight, from memory?

 

[AllForHer]

And when does the mother say the domestic violence allegedly happened?

Is this the first time the child has seen a psychologist?

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Yes their daughter has just turned 8.

The mother is claiming the violence occurred during her relationship with my partner. She doesn't stipulate dates or anything when she has put them in writing.

Their daughter saw a counsellor for a short time according to the mother in 2013-2014. My partner doesn't recall anything when they were together although he remembers her saying she was going to take her. That's it really.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

In her annexure where she states all her allegations against my partner, she has claimed that she asked him for assistance to pay for their daughter to see a psychologist and he denied it. He was never approached. The first time he was asked was when we were close to having the consent orders signed by her, ready to be submitted to the court.

 

[sammy01]

When is the next (first?) scheduled visit with you guys?

Wait till then - if the kid is a no show then do the contravention application. Please don't wait. don't hope that maybe the kid will come next time. The ex is playing this game so much better than you. The ex is playing this game so much better than you. Yep, I wrote it twice to make it sink in.

I don't think you should hesitate to self-represent or at least do as much as you can yourself. Remind me again, the ex has a solicitor?

I'd encourage you to do the contravention - do it again and again. Get a long history of the ex being a f-wit. Oh by the way, according to the courts, there isn't any history of the ex being a f-wit. Why? because this thing has never gone to court, so everything she has done so far really doesn't establish her stupidity. Once you get 3-4 contraventions, then you can consider asking for a change of residence for the child.

Up till now you have been very diplomatic in your descriptions of the mother. God Bless. It would be easy to be nasty about her, but you're not because your focus is on the child. Great but seriously...are there concerns for her mental health?

I know you're interstate, but I'd be pushing the school for as much info as possible. I'd even suggest contacting the local branch of the Dept of Education (NSW), by-pass the school and make the local director of school education direct the principal to release the info pertaining to the misbehaviour.

I'm wondering if it isn't fiction and all BS - just part of a stupid person's stupid games.

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Thank you for your response @sammy01

First visit is meant to be this school holidays for one of the two weeks (beginning 24th of June).

Absolutely she is playing the game. The amazing thing is we have no idea who is helping her do this as she has had next to no idea about anything until now.

When you say you suggest doing contravention after contravention, are you suggesting to go to court for withholding (amongst other things she's done up until then), and then again after filing those, rack up more contraventions and take it to court again? Or just let them all pile-up and take it to court when we have a substantial list?

Short answer is yes. We do have concerns. This is purely based on what we have been told, though. We ourselves have not witnessed her be anything other than happy when we speak to her on the phone and the FaceTime we have had with her the once. From what my partner's family have said of the sleepover last night, she was nothing but happy to be there spending time with them all, and got along well with her cousins despite having apparently assaulted other students at the school that same day.

The school hasn't told us anything relating to what happened, so we don't know what is fabricated and what is truth.

Thank you for any and all of your suggestions!

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Also in regards to her mental health - we have no idea what kind of life she has been leading while we have been out of the picture.

There were things she said while in her grandparents care today and yesterday that were most definitely coached and not something an 8yo would say. These things she's said are what her mother has said to my partner on multiple occasions. She's very confused.

 

[sammy01]

I meant the mental health of the mum..

Look I hope you see the kid in the next holidays. But if you don't send a letter to mum via email stating she has withheld, asking for alternate make up time and threatening court. Do that if the contraventions continue then self represent.

Remind us again, what sort of access is the child meant to have with you guys?

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Oh right sorry. Yes we've always had our opinions about her mental health and none have been favourable. Our thoughts have all come from observations and interactions with her, as well as what their daughter has said to us.

Ok. That sounds like a plan. What about a recovery order as well as contravention if she doesn't facilitate?

Half of all school holidays, phone call twice a week and FaceTime once a fortnight on either Saturday or Sunday (arranged by the parents via text). We live interstate from the mother.