Sarah1983, I know how it feels. The things my ex subjected me to over a period of 30 years. And then when I finally got out, he turned everything around even to the point of writing up his behaviour in affidavits but attributing it to me! His own family at times witnessed his abuse towards me and the kids for all those years and they still make me out to be some evil criminal. Only one of our mutual friends has ever contacted me since I left plus one SIL. Many of his family and our 'friends' were hanging around him like vultures when he was selling off my belongings, our belongings and farm/business materials cheap or destroying them. But I'm the evil b***h because I walked out on 30 years of abuse. It often hits me hard that I can never return to my beautiful home, that I worked so hard for, that it's all his now, that he killed the family pets in the months after I left and the guilt I feel that 2 of his kids refuse to have anything to do with him. They are young adults now. He'll never see them marry, see his grandchildren or share in the joy of their successes in life. We look over our shoulders every day. We think we hear his vehicle pulling up in the driveway, maybe he has the unregistered gun he used to bury in the paddock to hide, maybe he's going to carry out the threat he always promised me he would one day.
I could easily become the psycho ex but they've all choosen what they want to believe and who they'd like to spend time with.
The majority of my life now consists of freedom and choice and free from his abuse. After 2 1/2 years, it's still hard to get used to some days. I often remind myself that there were positive things in those 30 years. Like the hours I got to spend alone at home in my garden, the pets I had and my children. It would be easy to just remember the negative. But I'm not going to give in to that. In my head, that means he has won. But really, I have. He would hate that I have freedom now.
Stand tall Sarah and go on to bigger, brighter and better things. Don't look back.
I could easily become the psycho ex but they've all choosen what they want to believe and who they'd like to spend time with.
The majority of my life now consists of freedom and choice and free from his abuse. After 2 1/2 years, it's still hard to get used to some days. I often remind myself that there were positive things in those 30 years. Like the hours I got to spend alone at home in my garden, the pets I had and my children. It would be easy to just remember the negative. But I'm not going to give in to that. In my head, that means he has won. But really, I have. He would hate that I have freedom now.
Stand tall Sarah and go on to bigger, brighter and better things. Don't look back.
