Everyone who asks questions on this forum should get legal advice. In fact, it's unlikely that anyone who uses this forum hasn't realised yet that they should get legal advice.
OP, what kind of criteria has the father laid out?
NSW Family Law - Getting Parenting Orders Changed After Years?
- Thread starter Confused2017
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Everyone who asks questions on this forum should get legal advice. In fact, it's unlikely that anyone who uses this forum hasn't realised yet that they should get legal advice.
OP, what kind of criteria has the father laid out?
Definitely seeking legal advice, just seeking a range of appropriate opinions on the matter as well.
He is asking for: a long term commitment to the child and to complete a parenting after separation course as set out by the court order. He has also asked that she seek help for her mental health. He has also asked for drug testing to occur before.
Look, my opinion to anyone involved in a parenting matter is to complete a post-separation course. The content is great and it shows a Court that you're willing to try and alleviate conflict and focus on the kids.
Now, the commitment matter isn't something anyone can guarantee. Not even a Court order will force a parent to spend time with their kid, but perhaps the best way to address this is for your friend to enter into a parenting plan with the father for regular time with the child. A schedule, one that suits her and one she can stick to so the child has the benefit of consistency and routine, is the best option.
Seeking help for her mental health may be as simple as getting a mental health assessment completed. Is she actually suffering from a mental illness, or is this just dad being pedantic? And why is he seeking a drug test? Has she got a history of drug use?
Now, the commitment matter isn't something anyone can guarantee. Not even a Court order will force a parent to spend time with their kid, but perhaps the best way to address this is for your friend to enter into a parenting plan with the father for regular time with the child. A schedule, one that suits her and one she can stick to so the child has the benefit of consistency and routine, is the best option.
Seeking help for her mental health may be as simple as getting a mental health assessment completed. Is she actually suffering from a mental illness, or is this just dad being pedantic? And why is he seeking a drug test? Has she got a history of drug use?
She could possibly have mental health issues that have never been addressed. She doesn't believe she does, but if I'm being truthfully honest I would say that she does require some sort of support.
Yes she has history of drug use, this was previously stated in her own court affidavits. She does say she is no longer using. I can't confirm or deny as I don't live with her or spend that significant of a time that I'd be able to tell. She doesn't seem drug effected, however as above seems to require support of some kind.
Thank you so much for all of your replies allforher
Yes she has history of drug use, this was previously stated in her own court affidavits. She does say she is no longer using. I can't confirm or deny as I don't live with her or spend that significant of a time that I'd be able to tell. She doesn't seem drug effected, however as above seems to require support of some kind.
Thank you so much for all of your replies allforher
This seems a bit crazy - dad has orders that says mum see's kid by mutual agreement... Why go back to court? He has already won...
Oh, you have zero authority to say that requires some support due to mental health issues...
I really fail to see what the point is here?
Oh, you have zero authority to say that requires some support due to mental health issues...
I really fail to see what the point is here?
@sammy01 This thread is on the behalf of the mother, who currently isn't seeing the child because of the orders in favour of the father. It's the mother debating whether or not to go back to court, not the father.
@Confused2017 Ordinarily, I wouldn't encourage parents to jump through the hoops laid out by the primary carer in order to see their kids, but in this situation, the dad really does have all the power, and there's no guarantee she will be successful if she takes it back to Court, so she really doesn't have much choice. If she doesn't want to adhere to his requests, perhaps she could pitch to him that she see the kids under supervision by a family member for a while until the kids are comfortable in her care.
@Confused2017 Ordinarily, I wouldn't encourage parents to jump through the hoops laid out by the primary carer in order to see their kids, but in this situation, the dad really does have all the power, and there's no guarantee she will be successful if she takes it back to Court, so she really doesn't have much choice. If she doesn't want to adhere to his requests, perhaps she could pitch to him that she see the kids under supervision by a family member for a while until the kids are comfortable in her care.
@sammy01 I am in no way saying that she definitely does require support for mental health issues. I am not a doctor. In my opinion she may require some sort of support, she doesn't believe that she does. In reality and court my opinion does not matter, I am aware of this. Again I'm just trying to be objective and honest.
@AllForHer She has already pitched the supervision idea however it didn't seem to float without the action on the issues.
He has been responding in a nicer manner now that she has acknowledged the issues that he is raising so it may be better to go that way at this point.
In any case back to the lawyers next week to see what his suggestions are moving forward.
Just frustrating for the mother as in this situation things aren't moving as fast as she'd like and obviously doesn't want to waste time attempting to meet this criteria if he's going to turn around and continue to say no, however her lawyer has so far advised it could go either way if she takes that path.
@AllForHer She has already pitched the supervision idea however it didn't seem to float without the action on the issues.
He has been responding in a nicer manner now that she has acknowledged the issues that he is raising so it may be better to go that way at this point.
In any case back to the lawyers next week to see what his suggestions are moving forward.
Just frustrating for the mother as in this situation things aren't moving as fast as she'd like and obviously doesn't want to waste time attempting to meet this criteria if he's going to turn around and continue to say no, however her lawyer has so far advised it could go either way if she takes that path.
Unfortunately, that's the consequence of not particpating in proceedings in the first place.
She really should focus on working together with the father rather than going to court.
She really should focus on working together with the father rather than going to court.
Thank you so much for your replies and opinions @AllForHer .
Also thank you to everyone else who took the time to respond to my questions
Also thank you to everyone else who took the time to respond to my questions
Yep sorry - I missed that bit about you seeking help on behalf of the mum...
Ok - my thoughts - Go see a GP. As GP if (and I don't know if they can) but if they can organise a drug test...if so, great - Get it done and show dad... Ask GP for a mental health plan. Seek some help.
Look you don't have to be crazy to see a shrink - in fact sometimes you're crazy if you don't...
She should do all she can to establish that she is of sound mind... And try to work with dad on a graduated re-introduction to the kids...
Thought 1 - look at this from the other parent's perspective. After years of being a sole parent he now has to deal with the fact that mum would like to know the kids.
BTW - I am in a very similar situation. Or at least I have been - my kids spend weeks with their mum these days and I'm almost at the point where I enjoy the break. I reckon if she is smart and dad is willing to accept her genuine attempts then this should not need court. BTW has she tried mediation?
I agree with AFH - work with dad - court is a last ditch and depending on the age of the kids and their attitudes may not be worth it.
Ok - my thoughts - Go see a GP. As GP if (and I don't know if they can) but if they can organise a drug test...if so, great - Get it done and show dad... Ask GP for a mental health plan. Seek some help.
Look you don't have to be crazy to see a shrink - in fact sometimes you're crazy if you don't...
She should do all she can to establish that she is of sound mind... And try to work with dad on a graduated re-introduction to the kids...
Thought 1 - look at this from the other parent's perspective. After years of being a sole parent he now has to deal with the fact that mum would like to know the kids.
BTW - I am in a very similar situation. Or at least I have been - my kids spend weeks with their mum these days and I'm almost at the point where I enjoy the break. I reckon if she is smart and dad is willing to accept her genuine attempts then this should not need court. BTW has she tried mediation?
I agree with AFH - work with dad - court is a last ditch and depending on the age of the kids and their attitudes may not be worth it.
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