NSW At Odds With Old School Parent.

[Stephen500]

Gday,

Posting here with intent to try and help myself.

I'm a single man who's been a career twice in my life and am currently performing that role for someone.

I'm 30 years old and i've been single (almost) my entire life and prefer to stay that way.

I have a lifelong relationship with my dad who's got some really old school beliefs about stern parenting styles
and traditional values that made me sick with depression for years. Parents fought and split when I was 4, growing up was all about my parents fighting over money and child support, emotional manipulation to each other through me and many bad things along those lines. Dads conservative values and pristine lack of interest in any new ideas of societal things gripped my teenage soul with fear and boredom. But I persevered with knowledge that others have less fortune and life opportunities.

I have been diagnosed with OCD in the past and have strong suspicions I have aspergas syndrome. I'm very individual and thieve alone. I cant function in groups or in community settings. I have a natural tendency to want to spend a lot of time sitting and thinking about matters of the mind. Social settings make me sick and engaging with the community was always something I found no more meaningful then a simple chore. I socialise to keep appearances and for matters of respect nothing more.

Despite completing a bachelors degree in science and partically completing studies in both nursing and community services. I have found my only passion was investing into a business intended to provide for my own needs each day so that I don't need top deal with people in the workplace.

I like to sit at home alone. That's what I do most days if I not helping with transport or doing shopping.

I established a new industry in my local area by sitting and thinking alone each day and on-going experimentation into industrial areas the local government would never consider teaching about how to start in. I figured it out on my own and now I have passive income each month from it.

My dad has pushed me to find some girl and marry her for years, instead I choose to make friends with old people and care for them and spend the majority of my time alone. My goal has always been to live alone.

Then.... in September 2013 things changed more...

My grandma died suddenly and I took the opportunity to move in with and care for my grandad and was subsequently taken for a ride by a girl who was working in home care social support helping me in our home with my grandad. (My first and only ever romance at 24 years of age!).

In Jan 2014 she saw I was behaving down and took advantage of my character and emotional state.

Within a month of living together my dad was already talking about children and I had never dated in my life.

I was weak at the time since a close mate of mine died from a heart related problem at just age 40 in December 2013. She moved into my local suburb and within a about 2 months I gave in and let her in our home as my granddad was in need of daily and constant care. I needed help with him on a daily basis as his situation got worse and worse and got little to nothing from my father on the other side of town. It was a desperate move.

This girl turned out to be a real resource hungry individual. Within a few months we where arguing on a daily basis over my grandads bed about money, her emotional manipulation tactics became apparent to me, She wants to travel, me to take her out for dinner and buy her things and more and leave my grandad at home. (None of this I have any interest in doing!). But she was good at making me feel guilty and manipulating me to give her what she wanted. It was a bad situation to be in for me since our values do not match even a tiny bit and I now stood to loose a lot relevant to my family to her.

Next ...... as my grandfather lay daily in a home hospital bed during 2015 this girl raided my grandfathers bank account on a regular basis without the knowledge of either my dad or me until weeks later. Times where hard as additional support with grandad was needed daily, I shared my grandads bank card with her to help with shopping on and off. But she would sneak out cash withdrawals here and there. This continued for a few months leading up to my grandads death in Jan 2015 and for several weeks thereafter until things cooled down. It was like up too $1000 at a time which was the daily limit. She came up with defending excuses like that it was for emergency dental treatment and health issues, ect.

Luckily for me in May 2015 she packed up and left the home to a man who as it turns out was her previous husband (reunited at last). She was probably consolidating with him the entire time I knew her!

My dad blames all of the above to me directly and is disinheriting me mainly due to the fact that I am choosing not to continue his genetic linage. He sees no value in including me in his will for reasons of non continuation of his genetic package/line and little interest in traditional values and procreation. He has another son only 5 years old now he has conceived by bringing a bride to Australia from the Philippines. I have no judgement on his choice here and the fact that he wanted another child. But its my choice to remain single and childless he now resents me for it all.

I've been looking into the possibility of becoming a single father through IVF Australia (Just for him) and forwarded to him emails on the matter, but honestly. I cant see myself as a good single father and don't see it as the best decision to bring a human into this world just for him. I cant stand relationships and want to remain single for life. Because that's what makes me happy.

If he explicitly disinherits me from his estate due to past actions and the influence and actions of this girl, how likely am I to get a fair share from his estate anyway?

If I really want my inheritance should I create a future dependant in order to maximise my chances of it happening? Or will I just get a fair share regardless?

The new wife is from Phillipines and he has one biological son to her and she has too now almost adult children from Philippines (Both fatherless).

 

[sammy01]

mate sorry for your troubles. But I think his will could be challenged after his death and a magistrate would likely order that some of his estate go your way. Speak to a solicitor about it though

 

[Rob Legat - SBPL]

Putting aside my lawyer’s hat, and this is purely my own personal opinion: having a child simply to please a parent, or to gain an inheritance, is not a good reason. You’ve stated numerous times that you’re not inclined to become a parent otherwise, and that your preferred way of life is to be alone and engage in calculated thought. You get neither of those things with a child - especially as a single parent.

Another way to look at it, given your stated mental focus, is to calculate what it would cost you to raise a child. Measure that against what you may be likely to gain in an inheritance. Unless your father is extremely well off (and don’t forget the other potential beneficiaries, and the possibility you may need to take court action to gain a share) you may find the cost of child rearing outstrips the potential dividend from the estate.

 

[Stephen500]

Hi Rob,

Thanks for your simplified argument. I agree the cost of child rearing is high but it is the case of him being extremely well off
and I would surely stand to gain a lot more then the typical cost of rearing a child for life.

But for me its not about rearing a child its more about pleasing him and securing his genetic line. I would intend to form a great bond with
my child and have it stay with me for life or as long as it wants too and be there for him or her no matter what happens. Because that would be my linage.

I see it as advantageous to be able to protect my linage without needing to deal with a wife. Because lets me honest, if I have a wife she will have a mutual
interest in whatever he leaves to me and I see this as ethically problematic. In Australia there are no Community Property laws to protect my mutual interests with him from any such spouse. Its fair game
and I only get one shot before I have to put everything on the table.

I want to be free and not locked down into the typical relationship constrains of a marriage. To be single and celibate is to be free and I will always achieve more this way.

I have also some very important societal business aspirations and concepts which he takes very little interest in. I'm not going to say i'm perfect
but I find him impatient, aggressive, short-tempered, controlling and at times manipulative. He has a lot of money and very little interest in doing
anything or solving actual problems for the world with it. He only wants to hoard and use it as a bait to control others into doing and being what
he wants.

Also with his wife he is very harsh to her two boys. They have a lot of typical rebellious teenage issues and sexuality tenancies he strongly opposes.

He is very close to getting them out of his house through what I would call daily scare and fear tactics.

Its a bit silly because at the way hes going, given the age of his son being only 6 years old. The two other boys who are both 18 and 19 and living with
his 46 year old mothers friends on and off, if he passes away leaving me little or nothing. His wife will get most of his estate left to him from my grandfather (his father)
and his youngest son will have little idea about how to manage such economic affairs.

The two young boys will simply move back with their mother and become the primary beneficiaries of my grandfathers economic linage that started back
when he arrived in Australia in the 1940s and his subsequent 50 year marriage.

 

[Stephen500]

Hi Rob,

Thanks for your simplified argument. I agree the cost of child rearing is high but it is the case of him being extremely well off
and I would surely stand to gain a lot more then the typical cost of rearing a child for life.

But for me its not about rearing a child its more about pleasing him and securing his genetic line. I would intend to form a great bond with
my child and have it stay with me for life or as long as it wants too and be there for him or her no matter what happens. Because that would be my linage.

I see it as advantageous to be able to protect my linage without needing to deal with a wife. Because lets me honest, if I have a wife she will have a mutual
interest in whatever he leaves to me and I see this as ethically problematic. In Australia there are no Community Property laws to protect my mutual interests with him from any such spouse. Its fair game and I only get one shot before I have to put everything on the table.

I want to be free and not locked down into the typical relationship constrains of a marriage. To be single and celibate is to be free, thats what I want.

I have also some very important societal business aspirations and concepts which he takes very little interest in. I'm not going to say i'm perfect
but I find him impatient, aggressive, short-tempered, controlling and at times manipulative. He has a lot of money and very little interest in doing
anything or solving actual problems for the world with it. He only wants to hoard and use it as a bait to control others into doing and being what
he wants.

Also with his wife he is very harsh to her two boys. They have a lot of typical rebellious teenage issues and sexuality tenancies he strongly opposes.

He is very close to getting them out of his house through what I would call daily scare and fear tactics.

Its a bit silly because at the way hes going, given the age of his son (my little brother) being only 6 years old. The two other boys who are both 18 and 19 and living with
their 46 year old mothers friends on and off, if my dad passes away leaving me little or nothing. His wife will get most of his estate left to my dad from my grandfather
and my little brother will have little idea about how to manage such economic affairs.

The two young boys will simply move back with their mother and become the primary beneficiaries of my grandfathers economic linage that started back
when he arrived in Australia in the 1940s and his subsequent 50 year marriage.

-----------------Previous post edited. ----------------------- Admin please delete my previous identical post and this comment?