Unfortunately lawyers will usually recommend a course of action, same as most judges, which assumes both parties are somewhat reasonable and may be able to avoid the time, cost and resources of a judge/court system by delaying trials and forcing multiple mediations and reports. We are in the same boat in that our partners are seeking a reasonable outcome but the mothers are making unreasonable demands and causing unnecessary conflict and hardship, affecting the children. In your case, the mother is next level coocoo for coco puffs. Mine has blocked access multiple times for months at a time before moving out of state without notice and making false allegations, however is not engaging in communication warfare like yours.. Parramatta is also our court, and our process has also been frustratingly slow.
In your case it seems things have occurred during the interim orders that may be valid reasons to modify them immediately. Namely the safety of the child. The two concerns I have with what you've stated the mother has been up to are the violence the child has been exposed and witness to, and the psychological harm it seems she is inflicting. The assaults you mentioned would prompt me to seek immediate legal advice in regard to obtaining emergency custody, with mention of possible psychological instability. The psychological instability may be able to be demonstrated in the harrassment your partner receives by way of constant, intrusive texts/emails/calls whatever she is doing, and the hostile nature of them (something to consider - go grey rock on her or advise that partner will file for harrassment if she does not desist and communicate only on necessary issues regarding the child and only in the form of an email once per day maximum with a phone call or text, whatever you prefer, in case of emergency. You can also try to include this in a modification, including evidence of the harrassing texts and any police reports filed for them.). It can also be demonstrated by any documented evidence (like a written journal you keep with dates and the record of what was said), of what the child is saying to you unprompted about the mothers behaviour, whether it is constant interrogation by her, derogatory comments about you or your partner, anything where she tries to manipulate the child or alienate them or makes simply delusional/ crazy statements. If her behaviour constitutes harrassment and you decide to try for some police/AVO type enforcement make sure you have documentation and this can be used to attempt to modify current orders if you feel you need to do so.
In the meantime, continue to abide by the interim orders and breach her whenever she contravenes. The advice you might get is to build up a list of several breaches of court orders before filing them in court, and that is up to you. But when communicating with the mother, if she requests or try to demands any change to what the orders say when making arrangements, you can make up a formulated response and simply cut and paste it whenever she tries anything. Something like 'This goes against the court order, I will be following the directions in the order set by the judge and you will be considered in contravention of the orders if you [take whatever action is in contravention].' Same with communication. Decide what form you want communication to be in and let her know, then stick to it. If you will only communicate once per day via email, or something like myfamilywizard, or text, tell her so. Leave a text or phone call in emergencies only in there as well. Then whenever she tries to go outside that either ignore it or again have a canned response that is polite but reinforces the boundary. "As discussed earlier all communication is through email only" or something if you feel the need to respond at all will do. Legally she cannot expect a response to every text and has no realistic chance of trying to argue lack of coparenting if she is harrassing with 26 texts per day calling people names.
