QLD Homeschooling Issue - Should Father Fight for Custody of Children?

[nibler1300]

Oh I completely agree! Makes total sense! However, I would say that Mother in this case, is afraid that psychiatrist will make a report saying something at home is making child misbehave and particularly violent.

I highly doubt Mother will take child to see someone.

How does Father go about getting an ICL (if this case does go to court) would this be beneficial? Mother has said that she has provisional registration for home school and therefore child will not be going to school for at least 60 days (as in QLD, provisional registration allows 60 days). I fear that if Mother gets denied - which she should as Father does not agree and with court orders in place saying he basically needs to agree before a change can be made - that child will already be so out of touch from society and other children and the effects of this will be horrendous.

Mother has also not supplied Father is provisional registration papers so we don't even know if she has been granted provisional or if she is just telling porkies.

 

[AllForHer]

Oh, so your parenting orders from December are not final orders? Are they interim orders? Is there a matter on foot?

 

[nibler1300]

They are final orders. The contravention case against the mother was finalised via consent. No current matters.

 

[AllForHer]

Right.

So, trying to change final orders is very difficult. If only a short period of time has passed since final orders were made, the Court isn't going to want to hear the matter litigated again. It's unlikely to meet the Rice & Asplund threshold (which is that there needs to be a significant change in circumstances to warrant a variation to the orders), so I think you're better off focusing on this as being a contravention matter, rather than a variation to existing orders.

But I think you maybe need a bit more information about the situation first.

Get in touch with whatever body she has used to register for home schooling and advise there are current parenting orders in place and you don't consent to the child being home-schooled. See if they can provide any insight about what's likely to happen.

After that, you need to start setting up a pathway to get some help for the kid. I think most psychologists need a referral, so maybe tell mum that you think it would help them both if she sought some help and that you'd like for her to take X to a doctor, or if she doesn't want to, you can do it when kiddo is in your care and you'll advise her of the outcome. Make it clear that you don't think a change of school is the answer, that it's best to address the behavioural issues first.

And try and keep it amicable. Don't be passive aggressive or critical, mum will do the opposite of what you're asking if you imply she's being an incompetent parent.

Failing that, if she refuses to budge, tell her that you'll be organising mediation to commence contravention proceedings.

 

[nibler1300]

Update:

Child has been told that she is being homeschooled and she thinks it is "really awesome because she can do what she wants to do whenever she wants" Child said "i know your not happy about it but i dont care this is really fun" to Father. Father asked for registration. Mother says once she gets the provisional registration that she will send it through.

As far as I am aware we have 3 options:

1. Once Father gets the copy of provisional registration - intercept it and prevent enrolment to occur with court orders because he does not consent.

2. Father still doesn't give consent and Mother will do what she wants anyway. When child is in his care - because child thinks "I can see [Father] for as long and whenever I want" - take child to a psych, tell Mother. Depending on the report file for contravention of the order and/or file to the court for an urgent hearing to change residency for welfare of the child, or give permission for homeschooling.

3. Give permission and reviee after 1 year like Mother suggest. Keep in mind that Mother is likely to lie about how homeschool is going and child will probably never go to school.

Father thinks 2 is the best option... 2 is closer to what AllForHer suggests.

Keep in mind that Mother has also breached orders by discussing Father's personal life with child and by not telling Father that child has been absent from school. (Minor infractions that showcase Mothers disregard for orders)

 

[AllForHer]

Mm, generally, yes, I agree Option 2 is the closest to what I've suggested, but taking the child to a psychologist without mum's consent is making a major long-term decision unilaterally, just as mum is doing with education. Make sure you tell mum first and make it clear that you're doing so because she already agreed the child needed counselling.

I don't think you'll get residency based just on this. I think you need to file a contravention application and use it to seek orders that the child attend the original school that s/he was enrolled in before mum took him/her out, until otherwise agreed between the parents.

 

[nibler1300]

Update:

Mother is saying child is attending school again as of next week however now she is being extremely high conflict especially when it comes to father's partner.

They have no communication (and haven't had any.. ever). Father's partner helped Father write affidavit for the last time they went to court but Mother thinks the partner did it all on her own and made up lies etc. (Mind you every point of the affidavit literally had text messages against it).
To the point where Father called Mother yesterday to speak to daughter.

Mother did not answer, instead sent a message saying that there is no reason for him to be calling. Father apologised and said he thought it was Sunday. She then said something along the lines of "Well, your administration should pay more attention, considering our parental relationship is controlled by her. Make sure it doesn't happen again" or something like that. And then the rants started where she said that the partner has zero integrity, she's a horrible person, the mother has proof of all the horrible things the partner has done to the child, partner can't be trusted around child, mother never wants to deal with partner, etc.

Father responded saying she has never dealt with the partner.

Considering there is a point in the court orders that restrains both parents from making critical or derogatory comments and remarks about the other parent and members of their family, in the hearing presence of the child, over social media or within their communication. Does this constitute another breach?

Mother is already organising mediation to allow her to homeschool child and is only putting her back into school to cover her tracks. Child has already missed 3 weeks.

Would it be a good idea for Father to request that partner attends mediation (with Mother's consent) as the Mother is basically taking aim at the partner. Maybe it would be an opportunity to get everything sorted in a controlled environment. I doubt Mother would consent but would it show the judge (in case of court) that Father is willing to co-parent and that the mother is the problem in this case?

**Both parties would attend over the phone anyway.

 

[sammy01]

Walk away - slowly, no sudden moves... Slowly...

I'm a NSW state school teacher and I'm a little familiar with home schooling rules in this state. My ex wanted to home school while we were still together. I'd learnt not to argue because like you, my ex is a nutter...Are you still moving slowly away? Good.

So firstly -

The rules of home schooling:

Home schooling registration | NSW Education Standards

So I agreed for my ex to register for home schooling but I told her I would not help with the paperwork... It didn't take long before she realised that home-schooling doesn't mean the authorities will not ask questions and they will need to be satisfied by the answers. Mate, I don't think your ex has enough brain cells...

So a mate of mine wanted to travel around Australia and home school the kids along the way. She is a school teacher and she found the whole process daunting. So read my comments again about brain cells.

So as for the whole home schooling. Don't agree. Don't give consent. BTW let's pretend she actually gets the home schooling registration... Like most of the parents of the kids I teach, your ex will soon realise that public school is basically a free child care service. Seems like the child is pretty wild...Won't be long before mum will be dropping the kid off at school because something more interesting has hit her radar.

Mediation with your new partner? Hell no...

What to do? Call the kid on Sunday if that is what the orders say... Have the kid for the holiday period as per orders. Do nothing else. Nothing else. Learn to accept that unless you can move closer to the ex (and that is probably not a good idea) your time and involvement with the child will be limited and that might not be a bad thing (sadly) because if you were around more, the ex would cause so much grief and that would impact on the child.

Mate no mediation and no court can make an irrational person become rational and you are going to go insane by even trying and don't even bother responding to crazy rants from ex... Learn to have fun with it... So ex texts blah blah blah your partner is the devil blah blah blah you are an idiot blah blah blah... You're response?

Nothing - do not respond... Just don't even give it the time of day. But I'm giving opinions that I could never follow. When I copped that sort of crap I could not help myself... But I started to win a bit and feel a hell of a lot better when I started to see it as a farce (and it is).

So ex would send me a message telling me the kids hate me, that I'm useless etc etc... My response?

Dear ex - thanks for the update. I appreciate you keeping me informed. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to be of assistance.

Then repeat as necessary... But never ever engage in her madness...

 

[SamanthaJay]

I know it's hard but just try to ignore the ex's shot at new partner. It happened with me. My partner's ex even subpoened 'my' LEAP record (Victorian criminal record database). I just shrugged it off - it cost her at least $800 to do it and she got nada for her efforts. She put horrific allegations about me in her affidavit and the judge didn't want to know about it.

 

[nibler1300]

So Father spoke to child today as per orders and child immediately said, "Daddy, please don't tell [partner] about my homeschooling because she will get angry".

Father said, "[child] knock it off now. Don't you speak like that ever again. That's completely not true. Who told you that?"

Child: "But Dad! Mum told me. You and Mummy are the only people who get to be involved in my education".

What's worse is that partner isn't even "new". Father and partner have been together for 3 years and she has known child since child was 1. Child is now 6.

Father and his partner separated in December and have decided (in late Jan) for the sake of their child together to try and work things out.

Mother has just cracked it again because partner is now back in the picture.