QLD Help with Inclusions for Parenting Plan and Family Court Orders?

[appleton]

Hi Sammy01 - in your example above "Please contact the child support agency. All payments need to go through them" - do I understand correctly that we stop the direct payments, and then send that message? As if we don't stop the payments, ex will not contact CSA (no incentive to do so) - there are also never any 'nice responses' from ex.

We have tried the meet halfway arrangement, tried being pleasant, but the mediation was all focused around on ex wanting more money on a weekly basis, and no discussion around visitation or communication with child. We have been completely blocked from access with child since December (not able to call over Christmas) and during the arranged visit (interstate) have child for only two evenings (sleep) and one full day over 6 days.

We have received a sting of messages since mediation demanding more money to support her (she is not working) - all linked with emotional blackmail. Nothing we do/try will ever be good enough, and it really is affecting our lives.

Divorce proceedings will shortly follow, our concerns are with regards to what are the next steps? Should we apply to the courts for a parenting order with the divorce application? Interstate is difficult, as well as the child's age (3). Comprise with the ex is not possible as she is only driven by money.

 

[sammy01]

Just stop paying. The ex will contact you and you can request they go through csa.

Apply to court for parenting orders.
Divorce is a whole separate application

 

[appleton]

Thank you - appreciated, greatly!

 

[sammy01]

The reason the ex wants you to pay directly is because every dollar you give her that she is not entitled to causes her to lose some family tax benefit. I have no doubt that she isn't telling the governement about your extra payment, so she can double dip...

 

[MamaJ]

Get a good family lawyer.
Try mediation. If both agrees to terms, have them filed with the family courts to bind the parenting agreement.
If it fails, go to court asking for what type/duration of visitation your partner wants and have it court ordered. Bare in mind it has to be reasonable. Also the child won't suffer from less child support being paid ie the minimum. Use the extra your partner has been paying to treat the child to extras while with you both.

 

[appleton]

Hi Mamaj, common sense isn't applicable in this scenario - and its 'her way or the highway'.

What is a reasonable amount? How do we know if the child is suffering if she is denying contact and visitation?

he has never paid the minimum for a range of reasons, (including threats and intimidation).. and currently pays more than CSA assessment, an amount which is within financial means. Also agreed to contribute to other expenses (development/schools etc) However Ex has threatened to cancel mediation as she wanted the child support contributions increased by an additional 50% and will also not allow visitation unless a document is signed on pick-up agreeing to pay a further increased amount (legal?).
In the past this constant harassment and threats about money has just seen him 'pay the money', but is "shared parenting" just paying bills and then being denied any ability to be a part of the child's life?