Stay strong mate! I’ll be in your boat soon. Please share your updates more often at here and we can give each other support.
Hi,
Sorry to hear, your in the same boat as me. I don't wish this on any body, even the worst enemy in this world. But we are where we are, we need to deal with it. Its a test for being a father.
My ex made new IVO break allegations again some thing from more than a year back. I'm in courts again fighting new round of allegations. Police are running the case on her behalf, its all free for her.
Do not accept the IVO without admission, contest the IVO, when you go in to family court they will treat you as guilty even though it's not proven. This is from my experience
Write dairy everyday, to make sure you know where your at a given point in time, in future you can refer it. I do voice dairy every day and takes back up. Its some thing you should be in a position to refer back in case you have new round of allegations
Always spend with your credit/debit card, try save invoices, if not up to 5 years you can Subpoena the invoices, dates you can know from your card statements.
Your guilty until proved innocent, in the Gynocentric justice system, man is always guilty until unless proved other wise. No one is your friend in the court system, not even your own legal team
Even though I have won 2 cases, still I have not given orders to see my children due to serious nature of allegations.
I have requested for Psychiatrist test, Courts will try push you to go for Psychologist report. Psychiatrist is more reliable and qualified to make any recommendations, you need to choose right person so in future you should be able to call them for evidences.
Women who go for high conflict definitely will have some mental issues, like border line personality etc. your more better going with Psychologists.
Don't think Independent Children lawyer is your friend or fighting for children. they always favor mother. my ICL Gone to say to judge that may be father is committing family violence but he may not be realizing even though I was acquitted on 2 false IVO breach criminal cases.
You by going through Psychiatrist and getting a clear report you can shut all sorts of comments and your making yourself clear with any Psychological allegations. If you go through Psychologist, they are not doctors unlike Psychiatrist and in the eyes of court your not fully clear
DHHS is the most criminal organisation you will ever come across. They will by default supports the mother and send letters to court directly that father indeed committed sexual assault.
Im challenging them, planning to take them to Administrative tribunal, I will fight until the truth comes out. they are the most corrupt and criminal organisation you will come across.
My case has not gone in Magellan list, even though there are serious sexual allegations. Family court saying that sexual assault allegations came after a very late and father was not seeing the kids, they suspect mother is making up stories.
DHHS will still push there agenda and Independent children lawyer and court will follow the DHHS recommendations, so your helpless.
SOCIT and Police are involved, be ready for any investigation, dont take a step back deal with them. They are not Ur friends, they dont care your innocent man. For them its important that they want to get some thing so they can charge you and send you to court or trial. My lawyer recommend No comment interview. example, what is your name: No comment. Still seek legal advice for yourself.
One thing I want to tell you from my experience, you need to look after yourself. It will take more than 4-5 years. each court date they will give you after 8 months, it will break you mentally. When the courts will realize mother made up the stories finally say after 3 years, they will ask you to do mediation and try come up with a consent order
Don't do that mistake at all. A person who gone to such lengths to alienate other parent and put children through hell, do you think she will let you have a meaning full relation with children. I dont think so. In this legal system mother give a dam to court orders, they don't follow the court orders at all.
It's a common occurrence through, even if the mother doesn't know all the tricks of the trade her social workers will tell her what to do. Most sole-less unethical people you will come across in this journey is social workers. they care about having a victim = govt funds/grants. Again you will end up going to courts and start from where you left to have access to children. Its a reality you need to face and for any misbehavior mother does there are no consequence at all.
Courts will tell you to negotiate, then you should say, in the best interest of children and for you to have meaningful relation you would like to contest the case given the history of your ex allegations. Family law in Australia works with a simple word "In the best Interest of the children" Its a 6 billion dollar industry courts/DHHS/Social workers hide behind this word.
So you need to learn to understand there dirty game, when courts don't have any emergency up to three years about the best interest of the children, all of a sudden when the tides are turning they will play this card to pressurize you. You need to play safe.
Sort out yourself, look after your health, you need to be health and sound for your children. Children will be the most impacted during high conflict cases, unfortunately mothers don't seems to care. You need to be sound and strong so your in a position to give stability to your children. They will be damaged goods, you have to be there rock to look after them when all this finishes.
My children are my life, they are the only purpose in my life. I dreamed of having a children and wife, but I never thought my life will turn out like living hell. I'm very scared of women in general now, they are the most cunning and unloyal people, I'm more better of being single for life, less stress and more time for my kids.
A friendly word:
1) Stop drinking or give up totally if you can, they will try use this against you.
2) Have a work where your flexible, they will try to discriminate you because your working full time.
3) Try learn some cooking classes, may be like Cake making, I'm preparing for when I will have my children, I want to be able to make cakes for them, cook for them very good and tasty food, children will love it.
4) Educate yourself, your barristers/Lawyers will push you to mediate, because they are expected to demonstrate to judges that they are in control of there client, its a matter of there impression in front of the judges. You're just a another case for them.
In all fairness they are goods barristers and lawyers who will fight for you also. you should know what you want and don't budge if they try to push you and scare you. Make sure they deliver as per your instructions.
5) Try to go for group meeting like Dad's in Distress etc, they are bunch of fathers who try to help each other.
I wish you all the best and please share your experiences, so we can bounce experiences of each other. Take care of yourself mate. I can't insist enough on this.
