QLD Does Family Court Care About Breach of Consent Orders?

[Dad 2 + 1]

I'm self-representing (respondent) in a parenting matter and sorting through what I should and shouldn't be presenting to the court.

Will the court care about ongoing breaches of Consent Orders and Family Court Orders?

Examples from the Consent Orders can be as simple as:

• Existing arrangements for the children birthdays that have been ignored (and supporting TXT like "I don't care what the Consent Orders say, they are my children")
• Overt and at times public breaches of "do not denigrate the parent or family in a way the children may hear" (i.e. I have witnesses prepared to testify that my ex said terrible things about me in front of my children)
• Random swapping of days in care (i.e. my ex randomly changed 'last weekend fo the month' that has been in place for 5 years to 'first weekend of the month' - I believe just to show how "complicated the current arrangement is" (One off the reasons a change of current arrangements is being sought)
• Direct contravention of Orders relating to keeping the other parent informed of medical appointments, etc (My son has a medical condition and my ex changed an appointment at the last minute, told me about the new appointment with 3 hours notice, I couldn't attend and then was accused of not caring about the child)

A recent example from a Court Order to attend a POP course by a certain date and they only commenced the POP Course 6 months later, and after the mediation that was meant to be assisted by the POP Course.

I don't want to present mountains of evidence as I believe the case is quite simple:

• arrangements have been in place for 6 years
• children are going well
• no matter how much my ex tries to drag me into arguments I'm just focusing on the kids and my new family, therefore:
• arrangements shouldn't be dramatically changed.

So... will the family court care about breaches of existing orders?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Jake Matherson]

Hey mate,

Establishing that the other party is not able to follow court orders over a long period of time with a well documented paper trail has been extremely important in my case.

Having detailed affidavits outlining all important events/breaches has ensured that decisions have gone my way in the courtroom without me having to open my mouth as the black and white in front of the Registrar says it all.

"I don't want to present mountains of evidence as I believe the case is quite simple"
Why leave it up to chance? You're never going to remember off top of your head all of the dates, times and places of the breaches if the question is arises in the courtroom when taking into account that you might be a little nervous representing yourself.

Evidence that is not before the courts might as well not exist. Personally, I would have written up an affidavit outlining everything you have stated above in as much detail as possible as it will demonstrate the Ex is being a twit and will potentially help you have things go your way a little easier on account of the court getting fed up with your Ex's actions.

Not a lawyer. Just my opinion.

 

[sammy01]

Yes, I think the courts will care - especially if the ex is changing the arrangements about when you spend time with the kids.

 

[Dad 2 + 1]

yes I think the courts will care - especially IF the ex is changing the arrangements about when you spend time with the kids.

I'm sure what she will try to do is say "We should change the arrangement because the current arrangement is too complex... it's too confusing... it's not good for the children".

There are other breaches but I was interested if the court actually cares or if it's just "So what, it's normal".

 

[Dad 2 + 1]

Hey mate,

Establishing that the other party is not able to follow court orders over a long period of time with a well documented paper trail has been extremely important in my case.

Having detailed affidavits outlining all important events/breaches has ensured that decisions have gone my way in the courtroom without me having to open my mouth as the black and white in front of the Registrar says it all.

"I don't want to present mountains of evidence as I believe the case is quite simple"
Why leave it up to chance? You're never going to remember off top of your head all of the dates, times and places of the breaches if the question is arises in the courtroom when taking into account that you might be a little nervous representing yourself.

Evidence that is not before the courts might as well not exist. Personally, I would have written up an affidavit outlining everything you have stated above in as much detail as possible as it will demonstrate the Ex is being a twit and will potentially help you have things go your way a little easier on account of the court getting fed up with your Ex's actions.

Not a lawyer. Just my opinion.

I just didn't want to lodge all off the "evidence" that were little more than petty arguments/attacks from her like that didn't directly involve the kids. I really don't care what she says about me, but some TXT illustrate very poor behaviour by her.

I was going to focus on interactions where she directly says things like "I'm happy to hurt the kids if I also hurt you" and email saying she couldn't afford her 50% share of school books so I had to choose which child I would buy books for, and which child could just borrow books at school". (Of course I just bought all of the books).

I have at least 60 instances off these sorts of events and just didn't want to come off as nitpicking or being argumentative.

 

[Jake Matherson]

It sounds to me like you have the correct idea about how you should handle things.

Courts make orders for a reason. They don't like it when their orders aren't followed for no particular reason.

Each and every petty attack at you probably shouldn't be included as you suspect. However, the important ones or the order breaching ones should.

For instance one of the headings in one of my affidavits is "Order Compliance" under this heading are all of the dates and times that I complied with specific orders followed by a list of specific times the Ex has not complied for example,

My Order Compliance
1) Pursuant to Order 1 made 01 January 2019, I enrolled in XX parenting class on the 02 January 2019, and emailed a copy of my enrolment to all parties. I intend to tender a copy of the enrolment confirmation.
2) Pursuant to Order 2 made 01 January 2019, I undertook a drug test on the 02 January 2019, and emailed a copy of the results to all parties. I intend to tender a copy of the results.

The Ex Order Compliance
1) On 08 January 2019, I emailed the Ex to confirm her enrolment in XX parenting class. The Ex responded with "Get stuffed I'm not enrolling in that" I intend to tender a copy of the email correspondence.
2) Pursuant to Order 2 made 01 January 2019, The Ex is yet to serve me a copy of her affidavit dated and signed 25 December 2018.

Text messages that say things like "I'm happy to hurt the kids if I also hurt you" should be in bold directly quoted in your affidavit along with the screenshot or print out attached/annexed/tendered.

Again, not a lawyer. Just my uneducated opinion.

 

[Rod]

Text messages that say things like "I'm happy to hurt the kids if i also hurt you" should be in BOLD directly quoted in your affidavit along with the screenshot or print out attached/annexed/tendered.

Agree. Massive red flag here for a court, on top of contraventions.

 

[Dad 2 + 1]

I was getting an error when trying to post this earlier (maybe too long???)

Essentially I wanted to ask the board members opinion if my request to the court is unreasonable and/or likely to be granted. I'm the respondent in a case heading to final hearing.

Current arrangement is that I have all weekends except the last weekend of the month + two nights in the last month.

It has been a difficult co-parenting relationship but the kids (aged 10 and 9) are doing spectacularly well socially and academically.

Plenty of documented evidence of bad behaviour by my ex, including court transcripts from a Temporary Protection hearing where she screamed and swore at the Magistrate. She's also regularly broken Consent Orders and a Court Order to attend a POP course (apparently attending now, but outside of the court's directed timeframe).

My ex wants to have an equal share of weekends, but actually is asking to reduce my time from 38% to (it keeps changing) 21% or 35%.

I've responded by saying there is no significant change in the circumstances of either parents, kids are doing great and to compromise we could move to a 28 day cycle instead of a monthly cycle and that would give e her on average 4 extra weekends a year. If the number of changeovers is a problem leave the kids with me two extra days at the end of the month and that removes two changeovers. That takes my care to 46%.

Weekends are important to us as we have a routine that has benefited them well including a large family network (Mother has none close-by), sporting commitments and church (actively and happily involved in our church community).

I also want to be able to take my kids with my family on overseas holidays. My ex flatly refuses. I have ample reason to return to Australia including being the carer for my 87 year old mother. She still refused saying she was sure I would run away with the kids so I offered to pay for her airfares so she can accompany the children (but she pays for her own land content).

I have remarried and my ex continually tries to interfere in our new family life (documented in FB Messenger and TXT) and the Family Consultant in the 11f report suggested no change but commented on my ex acting out aggressively when told she can't control the kids when they are with me.

Am I being unreasonable in my offer and requests off the court?

Feel free to ask any questions if you need clarification.

 

[Philly2020]

You're not being unreasonable with your offer, but don't rely on whats reasonable to be approved by the court (in particular without hearing the other parties response).

In saying that, the court does not look favorably on parents who are argumentative and spiteful and what you could suggest is the changes are appropriate due to her inability to co-parent amicably and put the interests of the children first.

 

[Dad 2 + 1]

You're not being unreasonable with your offer, but don't rely on whats reasonable to be approved by the court (in particular without hearing the other parties response).

In saying that, the court does not look favorably on parents who are argumentative and spiteful and what you could suggest is the changes are appropriate due to her inability to co-parent amicably and put the interests of the children first.

Thanks, and straight off the press (i.e. an email arrive 5 minutes ago) I have another difficult situation with my ex.

This is typical of how it goes.

My son opened up to me last night about being bullied by one kid at school. He doesn't want to go to school camp because of it.

I emailed his teacher last night (CC'ing my ex) and emailed my ex separately letting her know what was happening and that I would go to the school this morning AND she was welcome to come along. I got no response.

After meeting the teacher I emailed my ex with notes on the discussion and the outcome and got the response "Thank you for dealing with this. I did the same last year." (Sans letting me know of any issue, action or outcome - so who knows if it's true).

This afternoon I emailed my ex asking if I could take our son to the Information Session at the school for 1.5 hours next week (Suggested by the teacher). Her response was "Are you stupid? Read the consent orders."

I responded "I'm not sure what that means. If you were going to take him that's fine, I'll be there too."

Her response, "You are stupid. It's my day with the boys. Don't go to the school or I will not take him to the Information Session"

This is a typical exchange that happens every 2 or 3 weeks. If I have the children she bombards them with Snapchat messages and on her days with them I'm blocked from school excursions (once she said she would hold my boy home from school if I went as a helper on the excursion) or school activities.