SA Change of care arrangement 50/50 care.

[Hayley Dennis]

My son is 3 almost 4. Currely the care arrangement we have in place is 50/50 week on week off care.

I would like this arrangement changed when he starts kindy and school because my sons father lives an hour away and it will be hard on my son to commute to school and kindy. I have asked his father if we can change the arrangement so that I have our son monday to friday and he has him weekends and school holidays but he is refusing and has asked that we find a school ans kindy at the half way point I still think this is too much travel for my son 5 days a week. If he is in one house monday to friday he can go to a local school and kindy close by and not have to travel half an hour each way 5 days a week.

I am wondering if I have enough of a case to get the arrangement changed.

 

[sammy01]

Your'e not gonna like me...
Move closer to dad... Problem solved - after all it is you who has the issue... I just fixed it for you.
Option 2 - kid lives with dad and sees you at weekends... Problem solved.
An hour commute? nothing.
His suggestion of finding a school half way isn't a great one either... The kid will have no neighbourhood school friends in either location. But it is probably the best option of those that seem available.

taking it to court? not a good way to fix the problem and I don't think you'll get the desired result...

 

[nat 2015]

I personally think that for a 4 yr old that is a lot on them and I only say this as I have seen what it does to these kids as a teacher, i think either move half way but that is easier said then done especially if you have family that you are close too in the area ,or he needs to come to the table and agree and maybe give him more time thru the holidays.

 

[AllForHer]

I agree largely with @sammy01's assessment, but also, think about the impact if you had the child during the week and dad had the child on the weekends.

Where's your leisure time with the child? When do you get to go to the local zoo, or the park or to a theme park with him?

And where's dad's contribution to the hard work of the Monday-to-Friday parenting? How can he participate in homework, weekday routines, school preparation and wind-down?

That's how Disneyland parents are made in one household, and it's how exhausted parents are made in the other household. Kids benefit most from enjoying both of these experiences with both parents.

An hour travel time isn't that uncommon, plenty of country kids do it every day, but a facility halfway between is doable, isn't it? And it will mean your son can continue the routine he's now accustomed to, won't it?

 

[sammy01]

"he has to come to the table and agree" Yep, you're not gonna like me.... NO he doesn't. He definitely does not have to agree with you... he has offered a reasonable compromise, school 30 min away... Not great... But not silly.
Hey, kid goes lives with dad, spends weekends and more holiday time with you? You're a teacher? cool, so you can manage the extra holiday time easier than your average wage slave....

Now I understand what YOU 'personally think" I kinda agree (personally) but your question is whether or not you have a decent case to go to court and ask for dad's time to be reduced. The answer is NOPE. Check out Rice and Asplund. Now it doesn't quite apply as there are no court orders in place already. But the principle still applies.

Look you don't have to like my advice, but do you have a good case to apply to court. NOPE. You came looking for an honest opinion and in my opinion, you've not got a good case.

 

[Corinne]

You're asking for the father's time to be significantly reduced because you want your son to go to a school closer to you?

That's not going to hold up in court. And you might want to be careful. I could almost see the magistrate suggesting the opposite instead, as it seems like you're trying to impede the child's relationship with his father.