Just to make a minor observation.. unlawful assault and criminal damage are not merely a breach of an IVO, they're actually criminal offences in and of themselves regardless of whether there is an IVO in place... And that's not even mentioning conspiracy to murder... wow.
Also, in your original post, you said that you consented without admission to the IVO and listed just 3 conditions.. 1. No Family violence 2. No going to her house. 3. Complying with family court or written
agreement. The third sounds like an exception to the conditions rather than a condition...? But in any case, it does sound like you've screwed up big time by breaching the no going to the house (unless that was allowed by the family law orders?), and if true, the threat to murder as well. I guess that's stating the obvious and there's no point beating a dead horse but you really should have taken the IVO seriously and backed off on communication with your ex. I know first hand how frustrating it is, but you really have to let things play out legally once the ball starts rolling. Making threats or trying to take things into your own hands is just going to make a bad situation worse once an IVO is in place.