VIC Birth Certificate - Ex Giving Child a New Name?

[Muxaul]

My ex and I are both from non-English speaking backgrounds but my son was born in Australia. He has a formal English name as registered in his birth certificate. But recently he’s been telling me that he now has another name and his mom told him so.

It is apparent that my ex is trying to give him a new identity without my consent. I already anticipate that she would claim “it’s in the best interest of the child to have a name from his ethnic background besides English name he uses in Australia”.

I don’t have a problem with my son having another name that reflects his ethnic background but I do not appreciate her making a unilateral decision yet again on such an important issue. If I did the same and unilaterally gave our son a new name just like she did. Our son would have 3 names and would be very confused without a doubt. So my position is to stick with his name as registered on his birth certificate.

How would the court view his mom’s behaviour? What is the best way to address this issue? Sending her a “please explain” email? Should I tell my son “ no you don’t have that name” or “ that’s not your real name”?

 

[Muxaul]

Clarification: my ex knows that our son’s legal first name and surname is on the birth certificate and can’t be changed easily. So she has been telling our son that he now has a new first name. My son tells me that she now calls him this new name when he’s with her.

 

[KKaren]

She haven’t given him a new name. She’s calling him a different name. Not sure you can do much. She can call him whatever she wants, as can you. Changing legal names is very different, but you can be ‘known as’ whatever you want.

 

[Muxaul]

She haven’t given him a new name. She’s calling him a different name. Not sure you can do much. She can call him whatever she wants, as can you. Changing legal names is very different, but you can be ‘known as’ whatever you want.

It’s not like a child’s legal name is “Michael” and his mom calls him nickname“ Mike”, it’s like she calls him “Lucas” now, another adult name in full form, except in another language. This is on top of her telling him lies such as “ daddy has been abusing mommy and grandma”

 

[Jake Matherson]

How would court view his mom’s behaviour? What is the best way to address this issue? Sending her a “please explain” email? Should I tell my son “ no you don’t have that name” or “ that’s not your real name”?

To answer your questions directly.

1. Court won't spend 3 seconds caring about it.
2. Whichever way causes the child the least amount of conflict.
3. Your email is likely just to create an argument with the Ex and conflict is bad.
4. The child is obviously young. Personally, I wouldn't even highlight that its an issue. I'd just use his real name when he is with you and don't worry about what he does at his mother house. You are only going to cause conflict when you send the child back and he tells mum "daddy says I'm not allowed to use that name etc.... then she is winning" When the child is old enough they will understand who they are and what their name is. Just don't react.

 

[KKaren]

I work with plenty of children who are known as two different names (one English and one cultural). None of them appear to have Any adverse affects and answer to both. Some create a nickname they want to be called. You need to chill out.

 

[Muxaul]

I work with plenty of children who are known as two different names (one English and one cultural). None of them appear to have Any adverse affects and answer to both. Some create a nickname they want to be called. You need to chill out.

Hi, KKaren

Thank you for taking the time answering my question. But I think you haven’t got my point. As I explained in my original post, I don’t have an issue with the child having a second name. My issue is one parent giving the child a new name unilaterally and I wonder if this is parental alienation.

If I unilaterally give him a new culture name when he’s with me, just like ex did, and call him “ Thomas”, then our son would have 3 names. How is that good for the child? I hope we can agree on a culture name but I don’t see the possibility of making an agreement with the ex.

 

[Muxaul]

To answer your questions directly.

1. Court wont spend 3 seconds caring about it.
2. Whichever way causes the child the least amount of conflict.
3. Your email is likely just to create and argument with the Ex and conflict is bad.
4. The child is obviously young. Personally I wouldn't even highlight that its an issue. I'de just use his real name when he is with you and don't worry about what he does at his mother house. You are only going to cause conflict when you send the child back and he tells mum "daddy says I'm not allowed to use that name etc.... then she is winning" When the child is old enough they will understand who they are and what their name is. Just don't react.

I think your opinions are very sensible. Thank you Jake.

 

[KKaren]

I think you miss the point. The point is he doesn’t have a new name. She is calling him a cultural name. You can fight it, or roll with it. You are saying she shouldn’t have the right to call him a name, but you should have the right to prevent her. You’re making a drama when there is none.

 

[Muxaul]

I think you miss the point. The point is he doesn’t have a new name. She is calling him a cultural name. You can fight it, or roll with it. You are saying she shouldn’t have the right to call him a name, but you should have the right to prevent her. You’re making a drama when there is none.

My point is “The child should a cultural name that is discussed and agreed upon by both parents as this is a part of child’s identity”. Hope this make sense to you.

I’m from that culture too. No offence here, I’m curious on what you would think if I mirror her behaviour and start calling our son a different culture name when he’s with me?