SA 50/50 shared care questions

[Notadeadbeatdad]

Hi,

I am the father, I have 2 children, 7 & 5.

We have completed financial settlement by way of approved consent orders, we did not seek parenting orders.

We have for the last 3+ years operated on a 50/50 shared care verbal agreement, at the time of separation we lived semi rural in a small town, my eldest started his school life there and my daughter went to preschool there last year and starts at the school in 2023. It was maintained during the financial order negotiations that I would retain the family home so the children didn’t have to move and lose their friendships, the home they love etc and I have done that via the approved consent orders. Verbally, it was agreed the children will remain in primary school until the eldest finished at the town and for high school we would move to the city, this is still ok by me and what I was planning for.

We now have a disagreement and my ex has threatened me with moving the children to the city which means they will need to move school, can’t reside with me unless I move etc, this is not really an option for me as financially I am spent after the financial settlement and haven’t had any time to recover (very recent). Most concerning however is the children don’t want to move schools and lose their friends and the school they are currently in is a real gem, small country school, teachers are excellent.

A few questions:

1) is it really that easy for her to just decide to want to move and seek legal help to do it?
2) she doesn’t earn much money and used a community legal centre for the financial settlement free of charge, she thinks everytime i do/say something she doesn’t like (this happens often and it can literally be anything to trigger her), she immediately threatens me with moving the kids through legal action, is her free legal support unlimited?
3) with point 2 in mind, do I have to front up cash everytime she gets upset and decides to request mediation etc?

Thanks!

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so firstly. For any other bloke who bumps into this post. Do child access first. Don't agree to asset division without including orders for kids. Too late for this bloke. So let me try and answer your three question.
1. Chill. Chill even more if 50/50 is an established care pattern with centrelink / child support..... If you have not because you thought it was a good idea to let the ex scam the government for more free family tax benefit then learn a lesson. Cheaters never prosper. But I'm going to assume 50/50 is established via centrelink... So you can prove it.... CHILL
Ok - so what to do? write a brief email. Dear ex... You have communicated that you intend to move from XXX to YYY. I do not consent. I will be relying upon this email as evidence if you move without court approval... That should put the wind up her.
As far as HER getting legal aid to help her.... Well YES and NO.
Story time. I got a nasty letter from a Women's legal service. The letter told me the ex was moving 700km away and I need to suck it up. (FYI - I had consent orders with a no relocation clause.) The letter even stated that if I fight it I will lose and I will have to pay her legal bills. This is called BULL S*it. I wrote back and told them to get stuffed... The ex moved anyways... BUT she left the kids with me. Happy ending.
So yes, the ex got some freee legal assistance. BUT they did not fund a court application. Hence my answer Yes and NO....
2. Again, nope her legal laid isn't 'unlimited'... Legal aid will not fund unreasonable applications. She has to prove her case has merit... I don't think she can establish that based on info provided.... NO history of DV??? for example? Never charged with assaulting her???

Amateur psychologist for a minute. She is poor. She thinks she can move from your location to a city... U'm help me out. Check the average rental accomodation price in your location and compare that to the city she thinks she is moving to.... Do you really think she can afford it??? She isn't moving to the city. She is playing stupid mind games with you. This is about power and control. Don't bother - just play along...

3. Smile and nod... Don't bother.... with mediation. Look I'm gonna give you two options....
A - Do nothing.... Write a brief letter - like I mentioned above.
or
B - Do mediation again, if you have not done it in the last 12 months - then wack in a court application seeking 70% care. Just for fun... You will get to serve her with the court application. Then get your solicitor to write to her offering 'consent orders' at 50/50....
I can't predict your future. There are merits to both options. BUT option B is gonna cost a few grand at least. Given you've had 50/50, the court application might be a good idea. See by asking for 70% care she will s**t herself and hopefully agree to 50/50 without you ever going to court. You can then get consent orders sorted...
In my world it was worth getting court orders. I eventually got consent orders without going to court, just the threat of court was enough. I got jack of her leaving me waiting at Maccas. We had a written parenting plan. But if for what ever reason she wanted the kids during my time, she would just keep them. She would not tell me and I'd go to Macca's to pick up the kids and she would not show... I'd wait a while and call her.... It was a game. She would say stuff like 'oh im sure i told you....' BUT if your ex doesn't play those sort of games then maybe you're better off doing option A.

Some good advice there. Read it. Go for a walk... Read it again.
cheers

 

[Edeemaxy]

Regarding the ease of relocation, it's not as straightforward as just deciding to move. Legal considerations around children's welfare, schooling, and stability come into play. It's advisable to seek legal counsel to understand your rights and the possible implications of such a move.
In terms of mediation, it's wise to explore all your options. Sometimes, community legal centers or family mediation services offer more affordable solutions. Remember, like using a dice roller online to add an element of chance in a game, legal situations often involve elements of unpredictability. But with the right advice and approach, you can navigate this effectively.

 

[vickey12]

Hey, it sounds like you’re going through a really challenging situation. Balancing shared parenting, financial recovery, and maintaining stability for your kids isn’t easy, especially when there’s the added stress of potential legal action. I totally understand why you'd want to keep them in a familiar environment, especially if they’re happy and settled in their school and community.
To answer your questions:

1. It’s not usually straightforward for one parent to unilaterally make a big decision like relocating the kids, especially if there’s a 50/50 care arrangement. Courts generally prioritize what’s in the best interest of the children, which often includes stability and continuity in schooling and community.
2. Community legal centers sometimes provide limited support, but it can vary. She may have access to ongoing assistance, but it’s not always unlimited. It could be worth checking with a family law professional to see what kind of options are available to you as well.
3. Unfortunately, costs for mediation and legal advice can add up. One option might be to seek a Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) practitioner, which is often more affordable than court.

As for practical tips, using tools like an age calculator to anticipate future milestones (like when your eldest might transition to high school) can help with planning. It might also help show a timeline for stability that’s in the kids’ best interest, which could be a supportive point in any future discussions.
Best of luck navigating this—you’re clearly doing your best to keep your kids' well-being front and center.

4o

 

[fatima123]

It sounds like you're in a tough situation. Here's some general guidance:

1. No, she can't just move the kids without agreement or a court order. If you have an existing agreement or orders, those must be respected unless altered by a court.
2. Community legal services typically offer free support, but it doesn't mean unlimited access. Legal aid has limits based on income and circumstances.
3. Mediation may be required, but it’s not always costly. If both parties are not in agreement, further legal action may be needed, and costs could depend on the complexity. You might want to consult with a family lawyer.

For more detailed financial advice, consider using this calculadora.

 

[OliverJake]

Hey, I understand you're facing a tough time trying to balance shared parenting and financial stability. It can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to keep your kids' environment stable and familiar.

On the financial side, managing big expenses like legal fees, child support, or a new living situation can add up quickly. One tool that can help you stay on top of your finances is the EMI Calculator. It’s a great way to break down large expenses into manageable monthly payments, whether you're planning for a new home, a loan, or other big purchases during this challenging time.

Using the EMI Calculator, you can input the loan amount, interest rate, and term to see what your monthly payments would look like. This can help you plan ahead and ensure that your financial decisions align with your priorities—keeping your kids’ well-being and stability top of mind.

Stay focused on what matters most. The EMI Calculator is a useful tool that can help you manage big financial decisions with confidence, even in tough times. Best of luck, and take care!