VIC Withhold Son Due to Ex Breaching Family Court Orders?
- Thread starter Shan_90
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Hi,
I've put a post up here before about my ex-partner breaching final court orders. I have filed for contravention orders and am waiting to go to court. Is there anything else I can do?
My ex currently has spent time with our son 5 nights a fortnight but has recently been withholding our son on my weekends with him. He withholds my time with our son every single second weekend and nothing i say or do will make him follow these orders.
It's affecting my son and currently, as his father had been taking time away from us, I have my son 3 days a week. I have heard from a lawyer to send the ex a text message saying that I will be withholding our son until he can follow current orders. Is this the right thing to be do?
I mean, I keep handing my son over to my ex in accordance with the orders and he just breaches them every time. It's like he knows I can't do anything about it and he knows police cannot get involved. I'm at my wit's end.
I'm trying to facilitate my son's time with his dad but he then takes my time away from us both. What else can i do? I feel like I'm just letting him do whatever he wants and make up his own rules and orders about the arrangement for our son.
This has been happening for 3 months now since the final orders were made. The orders are very clear about time spent and I believe he is very aware of the orders, he just doesn't like being told what to do.
Should I just not let him see our son anymore if he continues to breach?
I know it's not right but what else do I do? There is no amount of reasoning or any tactics to try and make him take these orders seriously.
In the meantime, it ruins my son's routine immensely and he misses out on quality time with me. He is only 5 and is diagnosed with autism. He needs routine and structure and for his dad to want to withhold him for 2 or 3 days then to drop him off at late hours in the middle of the night because he feels like it. It's just wrong that I can't do anything to help my son.
My ex still uses the family court orders to abuse me and control me and uses our son to hurt me. What's the point on leaving an emotionally abusive relationship to have to continue to deal with it again with family court?
I feel like I'm letting my son down and I'm so anxious every single weekend that he won't be returned. I mean it's likeI'mm allowing him to breach these orders by constantly allowing him to do so as I keep abiding my part of the order and it's just like a joke to him that he can just keep doing it with no real repercussions.
I'm sad for my son. I wish it was easier for him. I know he loves us both. I just wish his dad could do the right thing
I've put a post up here before about my ex-partner breaching final court orders. I have filed for contravention orders and am waiting to go to court. Is there anything else I can do?
My ex currently has spent time with our son 5 nights a fortnight but has recently been withholding our son on my weekends with him. He withholds my time with our son every single second weekend and nothing i say or do will make him follow these orders.
It's affecting my son and currently, as his father had been taking time away from us, I have my son 3 days a week. I have heard from a lawyer to send the ex a text message saying that I will be withholding our son until he can follow current orders. Is this the right thing to be do?
I mean, I keep handing my son over to my ex in accordance with the orders and he just breaches them every time. It's like he knows I can't do anything about it and he knows police cannot get involved. I'm at my wit's end.
I'm trying to facilitate my son's time with his dad but he then takes my time away from us both. What else can i do? I feel like I'm just letting him do whatever he wants and make up his own rules and orders about the arrangement for our son.
This has been happening for 3 months now since the final orders were made. The orders are very clear about time spent and I believe he is very aware of the orders, he just doesn't like being told what to do.
Should I just not let him see our son anymore if he continues to breach?
I know it's not right but what else do I do? There is no amount of reasoning or any tactics to try and make him take these orders seriously.
In the meantime, it ruins my son's routine immensely and he misses out on quality time with me. He is only 5 and is diagnosed with autism. He needs routine and structure and for his dad to want to withhold him for 2 or 3 days then to drop him off at late hours in the middle of the night because he feels like it. It's just wrong that I can't do anything to help my son.
My ex still uses the family court orders to abuse me and control me and uses our son to hurt me. What's the point on leaving an emotionally abusive relationship to have to continue to deal with it again with family court?
I feel like I'm letting my son down and I'm so anxious every single weekend that he won't be returned. I mean it's likeI'mm allowing him to breach these orders by constantly allowing him to do so as I keep abiding my part of the order and it's just like a joke to him that he can just keep doing it with no real repercussions.
I'm sad for my son. I wish it was easier for him. I know he loves us both. I just wish his dad could do the right thing
How old is your son? How long till court?
I would not withhold, but can you give details? How does dad come to have the kid every weekend? Is he picking him up from pre-school / school? So what I'm asking about is the practicalities of how the kid winds up with dad.
I would not withhold, but can you give details? How does dad come to have the kid every weekend? Is he picking him up from pre-school / school? So what I'm asking about is the practicalities of how the kid winds up with dad.
He is 5. He does pickup from his kinder. I have court in 2 weeks but I think it's only for an application in case so I can get orders to serve contravention papers by email, as he refused to give me his new address.
On the weekend, I am supposed to have him. He picks him up from kinder on a Thursday and is supposed to drop him off to me at a police station on the Friday, but he never does and always keeps him 2 extra days or will take him to kinder on the Monday. So he is always taking my weekend time away.
And then its court order on the other weekend that he has him, Thursday until Monday. So at the moment, I get 2 or 3 days with my son, which isn't much as he is in kinder those days or going to appointments. I don't get any quality time with him.
Mediation won't work. He will agree to things, then go against them. Final court orders are only 4 months old and he won't take anything seriously so what else am I supposed to do?
I get told 'follow your orders, don't give in to his demands', but then he can do what he likes? It doesn't make sense.
On the weekend, I am supposed to have him. He picks him up from kinder on a Thursday and is supposed to drop him off to me at a police station on the Friday, but he never does and always keeps him 2 extra days or will take him to kinder on the Monday. So he is always taking my weekend time away.
And then its court order on the other weekend that he has him, Thursday until Monday. So at the moment, I get 2 or 3 days with my son, which isn't much as he is in kinder those days or going to appointments. I don't get any quality time with him.
Mediation won't work. He will agree to things, then go against them. Final court orders are only 4 months old and he won't take anything seriously so what else am I supposed to do?
I get told 'follow your orders, don't give in to his demands', but then he can do what he likes? It doesn't make sense.
Do your orders provide rules around each of you providing each other with residential address?
Look, when you get this through to court, I'd expect the magistrate is gonna be well upset. So between here and then, you're just gonna have to wear it and look to get some make up time ordered.
Now just checking, do you have an AVO against him that is current and is the child a protected person under the AVO? Am I also right that he is getting 8 nights where the orders facilitate 5 nights?
I strongly encourage you to see this through and I'm keen to see the outcome of the contravention.
Look, when you get this through to court, I'd expect the magistrate is gonna be well upset. So between here and then, you're just gonna have to wear it and look to get some make up time ordered.
Now just checking, do you have an AVO against him that is current and is the child a protected person under the AVO? Am I also right that he is getting 8 nights where the orders facilitate 5 nights?
I strongly encourage you to see this through and I'm keen to see the outcome of the contravention.
Yes, they do. We are required to give each other's address within 24 hours of moving. We have mutual AVOs. No our son isn't a protected person. My ex contested so many times over this.
There is an oath to not commit family violence against our son on the AVO. Yes, that's correct he is having 8 to 9 nights instead of 5.
There is an oath to not commit family violence against our son on the AVO. Yes, that's correct he is having 8 to 9 nights instead of 5.
I don't know if you spent much time looking at contravention cases
You can find them here...
AustLII Results - contravention
It is hard reading, I'm feeling a bit lazy so I spent a bit of time going through some cases.
I like this one - mum copped a 2-year good behaviour bond for failing to present the child for changeover so that dad could spend time with the kid.
Carrington & Gunby (No. 2) [2013] FamCA 433 (13 June 2013)
This one is a bit of fun (madness) and the mother imposed with a suspended jail sentence...
AustLII Results - contravention
I can't help but think similar could be on the cards for your ex.
You can find them here...
AustLII Results - contravention
It is hard reading, I'm feeling a bit lazy so I spent a bit of time going through some cases.
I like this one - mum copped a 2-year good behaviour bond for failing to present the child for changeover so that dad could spend time with the kid.
Carrington & Gunby (No. 2) [2013] FamCA 433 (13 June 2013)
This one is a bit of fun (madness) and the mother imposed with a suspended jail sentence...
AustLII Results - contravention
I can't help but think similar could be on the cards for your ex.
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