NSW Will ADVO Against Husband Hurt Our Family Court Case?

[MummyOf2]

How do we create a cross-application? The local court house is closed every day except once a month and the local police have already said they want nothing to do with it now.

The barrister that represented them at the court case chastised them and read them the riot act on what they did wrong and what their rights are and aren't. I do not know if the judge is aware that this happened but my lawyer was alerted to this by the barrister that did it. It was in the family court and in relation to the situation I described. They have now put it in their application for the ADVO along with the confrontation where my husband called my ex's wife disgusting.

None of it warrants them applying for the ADVO in the first place.

 

[sammy01]

So the good folk here have tried to show how some of your actions may appear... You've done a great job shooting every one of them down. Great... Don't matter one bit though does it?

Look I think the folk here are trying to show you how it could appear. So these crazies seem intent on making you crazy too. What I'm trying to get at is you don't have to justify your behaviour to us...but you might have to justify it to a magistrate and I reckon you need to think about how easy it is to manipulate and deceive.

Look the courts tend to get it right but if you don't give them the ammo then you don't have to waste time in court fighting this craziness...

So am I right in thinking you wrote that they are seeking orders that your hubby isn't allowed near your child in family court? Or is that AVO local court?

So - nope the AVO won't be of significant concern in family court... But what are the orders being sought in family court?

Next time - if they are outside your property - call the cops. Tell the cops that they are harassing you and let the cops deal with it.

 

[Hoang Trang]

It's all frustrating I know and understand. But be careful getting caught up in all the pettiness and games. It will get to a stage where you will lose sight of what's important. Once I ignored my ex and her games things calmed down. She just wanted to stir the pot and get me to react and use it later in court.

Her boyfriend tried to start at a fight with me in front of my kids. Kept my cool and called the police. And anything else I'm not sure I ask my lawyer. Other then that I ignore her. That in itself annoys the hell out of her

 

[MummyOf2]

You've done a great job shooting every one of them down

My intent is not to shoot anyone down but to provide more insight into why the ADVO is being sought and our side of the story. I apologize if that is how I come across.

I understand that my husband has to justify his comment to the magistrate. I am frustrated that there are so many lies being used against my husband. It does make me crazy.

I have followed court orders right down to the last full stop and have been really nice to them, even when they are making me fume on the inside. I am starting to think they have tried this ADVO stuff on my husband to try and isolate me. I wouldn't put it past them to try and get me into a position where I get overwhelmed and just give up. (I will never do that to my kid).

So - nope the AVO won't be of significant concern in family court... But what are the orders being sought in family court?

So am I right in thinking you wrote that they are seeking orders that your hubby isn't allowed near your child in family court? Or is that AVO local court?

They are seeking orders in the family court that my son live with them and I only get visitation when it suits them. The ADVO is being sought in the local court. However my ex's lawyer who is representing my ex in our custody battle has inquired into details regarding my husband surrounding the issues involved in the ADVO. It has become apparent that my ex's lawyer is definitely interested in using the ADVO if it is granted to help my ex get full custody of my son.

She just wanted to stir the pot and get me to react and use it later in court.

This is exactly what is happening here. They want me to go crazy, get overwhelmed and fall apart. I honestly think the ADVO stuff is to isolate me. I can't see why they would lie so dramatically otherwise.

It will get to a stage where you will lose sight of what's important.

I'm terrified that will happen. My ex's wife angers me so much with her behaviour that it makes me crazy and want to fight back with everything I got. My current affidavit has 52 annexures that prove they are lying and harassing me and my husband. it's insane that all this stuff is all that I think about now.

I don't speak to them at all now and haven't heard anything from them in the past two weeks. Both of us have spoken only to our lawyers. I don't want to speak to them, they insult me on every level. It's making me crazy though that they are trying to go behind my back and do things like discuss my son with his school without my knowledge and even keep secrets from me. I am lucky my sons teacher and principle are fully aware of the matter and have monitored everything and are doing everything they can to catch me up and help me out when my ex's wife starts butting in and taking control.

My main concern now is just making sure that this ADVO business won't go against me in court. Especially as the court stuff is between myself and my ex and has nothing to do with step family. I need the court to pull the plug on step family interfering, bullying, harassing and manipulating everyone. This should be between my ex and I negotiating a way to co-parent our child together without everyone else creating all these arguments that I now have to shoulder and fix.

 

[sammy01]

So what sort of time have you both had with the child? What grounds for them to have sole care? Why respond to each piece of stupidity... 52 pages? What are you doing?

Oops - I know - like you said - you are trying to 'prove' that they are lying or harassing... Don't bother. All you gotta do is prove that you're a good parent and you're prepared to work with the dad in the best interests of the kid.

Sorry but you seem caught up in a battle to prove what idiots they are... sorry to be blunt - but all any of you are gonna do is prove to the magistrate that all of you are idiots...

Remember family law isn't about proving that they are idiots and you are not. It is about establishing what is in the best interests of the child and if you wanna prove anything then prove that your child focused...

Oh one more thing... You said you want the court to pull the plug on step family interfering, bullying and manipulating everyone... Guess what? Court can't do that. No court can make an order to make an idiot stop being an idiot.... So you need to put strategies in place to stop these people getting to you. A legal forum ain't the place for that advice. You need a psychologist.

But what the heck - I will give it a go. You need to become ambivalent...

Story time... My ex used to rock up - swear at me, accuse me of stuff all sorts of madness to cause arguments.... It was sending me crazy. So one day I changed my approach. Ex would tell me that I had not returned clothes, I made the kids have nits, what ever blah blah blah....

But instead of getting caught up in the crazy - I started responding by saying 'thanks for the information, please keep me informed..."

Repeat repeat. So she would come to change over and be mean - for months I did the same thing. I stopped arguing. My mental health improved and I didn't worry about crazy anymore...

Short version - if you argue with an idiot - then you too are an idiot... Start changing your strategies and you'll get better results.

 

[MartyK]

@MummyOf2 - you have already been given some ideas and thoughts as to the various approaches you could take.

Your 1st affidavit appears voluminous with some 52 attachments, I expect there is far more to this matter and the surrounding issues than we are aware. As you have a lawyer, you are better to discuss this issue further with them.

Good luck