QLD Wife Refusing Equal Custody of Children - What to Do?
- Thread starter Gus2018
- Start date
If you are in Queensland you can bypass the dreadful Relationships Australia and apply directly for Legal Aid mediation either with legal aid or with a legal preferred supplier
Legal aid initiated mediation can often be done and dusted in four or five weeks as opposed to Relationships Australia who can take months and months and months
Note this rule with mediation might not apply in other states. I can't work out why anyone is telling you to go straight to Relationships Australia when they take forever just to do the initial intake interview
All of my Queensland legal aid initiated have been done very promptly and so have other people I know who have used them... you want to avoid Relationships Australia at all costs
Legal aid initiated mediation can often be done and dusted in four or five weeks as opposed to Relationships Australia who can take months and months and months
Note this rule with mediation might not apply in other states. I can't work out why anyone is telling you to go straight to Relationships Australia when they take forever just to do the initial intake interview
All of my Queensland legal aid initiated have been done very promptly and so have other people I know who have used them... you want to avoid Relationships Australia at all costs
You will find that people do not do things for you in these kind of situations. You need to fill out an application for legal aid for mediation or go to a legal aid preferred supplier's lawyer and fill out the form and submit it with the right supporting documentation like bank statements. You can download the application for Legal Aid from the legal aid website but I would make some calls to some legal, a preferred lawyers just to make sure they do mediation.
It's up to you if you want to apply to legal aid direct or use a legal aid preferred lawyer.
It is my understanding that legal aid is means tested. It is in NSW anyways... But apply, because I also think they won't fund both parents, so get in before she does and she may find herself having to pay a solicitor. That alone might make her want to compromise.
One more thing, just to give you food for thought. Very few cases go all the way to a final hearing in court.
Children and the Family Court | ALRC
Just read the third paragraph... But sometimes the threat of court is needed to encourage compromise, so get the mediation certificate and here is hoping mediation works, but once you get that far a court application can be done and you can do it yourself... Once the ex knows you're serious, she might want to reconsider her position.
Mate things are a bit raw right now, so be patient and avoid arguments, keep all communicating if possible succinct and about the kids.
One more thing, just to give you food for thought. Very few cases go all the way to a final hearing in court.
Children and the Family Court | ALRC
Just read the third paragraph... But sometimes the threat of court is needed to encourage compromise, so get the mediation certificate and here is hoping mediation works, but once you get that far a court application can be done and you can do it yourself... Once the ex knows you're serious, she might want to reconsider her position.
Mate things are a bit raw right now, so be patient and avoid arguments, keep all communicating if possible succinct and about the kids.
So my understanding and I'm in NSW but i doubt that matters as family law is federal law not state.
Three options.
1 - A mob like Relationships Australia, it is the biggest but there are a few others - Anglicare ran one I believe. Good because it is cheap. Good because it is less stressful than throwing money at solicitors and private mediators.
2.- Private mediators - Good because they are faster than waiting on the que. Bad because of money
3. Letters two and fro from solicitors and private mediation. Good - fast. Bad- expensive and the money stress clouds decisions.
Option 4 OOPS. Be patient.... Good because you're not throwing fuel on the fire. Good because you're eliminating conflict that has now escallated to separation. Maybe a gently gently approach, it is early days. Good because it is free... The kids at that age are gonna speak their mind. The stress will get to her, she'll be begging for you to take them (I hope)
I like option 4. High conflict can hurt the kids and it can hurt your case in court.
Have a read about how the courts sort this mess
Parenting cases - the best interest of the child - Family Court of Australia
BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD... GOOD SO FAR.
Primary consideration
AND
Secondary considerations
That mean you also need to be able to show consideration to her.... Short version. Fighting every fight is not a good idea. The only fight worth winning is the one that gets you lots of time with your kids. Just my opinion
Three options.
1 - A mob like Relationships Australia, it is the biggest but there are a few others - Anglicare ran one I believe. Good because it is cheap. Good because it is less stressful than throwing money at solicitors and private mediators.
2.- Private mediators - Good because they are faster than waiting on the que. Bad because of money
3. Letters two and fro from solicitors and private mediation. Good - fast. Bad- expensive and the money stress clouds decisions.
Option 4 OOPS. Be patient.... Good because you're not throwing fuel on the fire. Good because you're eliminating conflict that has now escallated to separation. Maybe a gently gently approach, it is early days. Good because it is free... The kids at that age are gonna speak their mind. The stress will get to her, she'll be begging for you to take them (I hope)
I like option 4. High conflict can hurt the kids and it can hurt your case in court.
Have a read about how the courts sort this mess
Parenting cases - the best interest of the child - Family Court of Australia
BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD... GOOD SO FAR.
Primary consideration
- The need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence.
AND
Secondary considerations
- The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parent.
That mean you also need to be able to show consideration to her.... Short version. Fighting every fight is not a good idea. The only fight worth winning is the one that gets you lots of time with your kids. Just my opinion
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