QLD Wife Refusing Equal Custody of Children - What to Do?

[Gus2018]

Hi,

My wife and I separated about 3 weeks ago. It was out of the blue and has left me devastated. We have 4 kids together, ranging in age from 9 to 14.

I originally agreed to a parenting plan 2 days after our separation, but it only allowed me one weekend a fortnight with the kids. I have always been a very hands on Dad and I would like 50/50 custody of children. She is refusing this request. She has offered every weekend and will not budge. She is accusing me of violating our agreement as I am looking for a house to have the kids 50/50 and won’t be able to pay any of her rent.

How can I move forward towards 50/50 custody?

 

[LouiseThomas]

Initiate mediation with the wife and go from there. If she doesn't turn up to mediation or refuses to consider alternatives then you will get a certificate which means you can take matter to court.

Just be warned, it gets very costly.

 

[sammy01]

Good opinion.

Mate, stay calm. Do nothing that could be detrimental to your case down the road. Give as much info here as you feel comfortable with and you will get some good opinions. For the minute play nice.

50/50 is achieveable. 5 a fortnight and half holidays is a good compromise. What she is offering is unreasonable.

Stay calm

 

[Gus2018]

Thank you for the help. It is all so confusing and seems like she is just trying to punish me at the moment. I am hoping that it does not come to a legal battle as neither of us can afford that.

 

[Gus2018]

How do you initiate mediation? Do I just contact a formal mediator and book a time that both of us can attend or do I need to go through lawyers?

 

[LouiseThomas]

Don't need to go through lawyers. You could just write her an email notifying her of your intention and that you believe you both need assistance to come up with a plan that is in the best interests of the child.

You could ask her to choose a mediator of her choice or give her a choice out of 3 and then see what she comes back with and book from there. You may have to do an intake appointments seperately before meeting together, depends on the mediator.

 

[Gus2018]

Thank you. I have the name of one mediator, can you recommend any others in Brisbane?

 

[LouiseThomas]

Not near that area sorry. Some are very costly ($3,300) for the day but they will include the drawing up of consent orders. It depends on how reasonable she is going to be with mediation. She may balk at the cost unless you are prepared to pay all? This is your starting off point anyway.

 

[Gus2018]

Thank you.

 

[thatbloke]

Two years plus in court, by the time it is over it sounds like 2 or 3 of your kids will be well over the age where court orders bind them. What do the older ones want? How old exactly are the 4? If you start proceedings, you can already say bye bye to 50% of the 14 year old if it goes all the way to hearing. If the others are 12/13 or so, the same applies.

Parenting plans are not worth jack... especially after only 3 weeks of separation. Strike whilst the iron is hot and don't get dragged into 2 or 3 years of court with kids in their teens (12 plus). It's a total waste of life as by the time it's all over, they are almost adults.

Pay for private super quick mediation, get a very good lawyer and get some orders ASAP.

One thing you might well want to learn is no orders = no rules. If you know what I mean.