NSW Waiting for Response to Initiating Application - What Next Under Family Law?

[sammy01]

Yup - my ex lost her legal aid grant because she was being a twit. All of a sudden, she was paying a solicitor. Sadly, it didn't make her change her tune. Well, not until the ex started getting bills from the solicitor, that changed her tune a bit.

I agree with other posters. Legal aid has a greater motivation to settle things quick. They get a set rate from the gov't, so they get paid the same rate regardless of whether it takes one letter to settle or 10 letters, but they also have to play by the same rules. That is, they take instruction from their client, they can give client advice, but the client can choose to ignore the advice.

 

[Mylife]

Thanks, Sammy.

Understand totally. In fact, the last time we provided dates for time with the children, her response was "this is with my solicitor".

We replied, of course, however. your solicitor acts on your instructions. Apparently a decision can't be made without the solicitor's instructions .

 

[AllForHer]

You're not alone on that front, mate. My husband's ex-wife needs her solicitor to tell her how to parent, too.

Unbeknownst to his ex-wife, however, the solicitor is also one of my husband's clients!

 

[Mylife]

I just don't understand why she can't make a decision for herself. Simple, can the children spend this weekend with us?

Well, apparently, she needs her solicitor to tell her what to do!

 

[Mylife]

At what point will legal aid pull the pin? I mean how much do they put up with their client making silly demands and refusing to negotiate before they say enough is enough?

 

[AllForHer]

That's not something anyone here can really answer. It's subjective and there's no threshold or test that Legal Aid must apply to determine 'reasonableness', so it's entirely unknown.

 

[Mylife]

Thank you again.

This waiting and not knowing is a killer!
I just wish her solicitor (or herself) would respond in some capacity. We have no idea what way she will be approaching this either way!
Although, when we advised child support about a change of care, she disputed it saying it would not be continuing. So, she must feel confident that the interim orders won't be granted or she has no other excuse to offer up?

 

[AllForHer]

It is a waiting game much of the time in family law, made more challenging if one parent is failing in their duty to ensure the child can enjoy their legal right to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. That is, however, the name of the game.

In the meantime, there is no obligation on your part to be entirely complacent. Take this time to look at some proactive options to help make your situation the best it can be. Have you enroled in a post-separation parenting course with Relationships Australia? They are free, voluntary and will show the court you are willing to do whatever is necessary to improve circumstances and work together with the mother. It's very likely the court will order both parents to complete such a course anyway, so you may as well take the proactive approach and pursue one of your own accord.

Personally, I found RA's post-separation parenting course very helpful. It didn't necessarily fix all the problems that exist between my husband and his ex-wife, such that conflict is still a significant issue, but it did help my husband and I cope with the situation on our end and ensure we're doing what's best for my stepdaughter, regardless of what's going on in the other household. One of the comments that stuck with me was: "You can't control what happens in the other house, but you can do what's best for them in your house, and kids always need at least one parent stepping up to the plate." We learned how to pick our battles productively, and communicate assertively about them. Things are a lot better in our house, even if things with the ex haven't really improved much at all. At the very least, there's a track record that we've tried.

Another actionable you might consider is forwarding another alternative settlement option. It doesn't have to be less, just the same but different. Continue showing that you want to co-operate. The more she refuses to enter the game as a co-parent, the worse it looks for her.

 

[Mylife]

We have actually made some inquiries about courses. However, because of working hours and locations it made it near impossible to find times to attend.

Our solicitor has asked hers whether she agrees to our proposal and if not to offer an alternative. Still nothing. I think she would be happy if we just disappeared or continued playing the beg and grovel for time on her terms only game

 

[Mylife]

Progress. She has filed a response. We can see that via the comcourt portal, but can't yet see what the response is. Only the documents filed. Strangely, she has a different solicitor filing for her. Same company, different office and solicitor. Still makes us question whether legal aid has been withdrawn. Wonder how long til we can see the response on the portal? Or via our solicitor?