VIC Travel Needed for Work - What to Do with Consent Orders?

[Woo2511]

Hi all,

So, my ex is not a reasonable human in the slightest. After many years of doing things all her way, enough was enough and we now have consent orders in place for my daughter. It's pretty standard. We share parental responsibility, she lives with her Mum, spends time with me - alternate weekends, one night mid week and one week every school holidays.

However, I recently changed jobs and while travel will never be a big part of it, there is a trip required this year which falls over the September/October school holiday period.

I have to go on the trip but it means that my daughter will be unable to come for a week of the holidays as the orders say.

What will I do? Noting once again, that there is no reason from my ex and that she expects 500% that the orders are followed to the letter. Which I get - I mean I went to the trouble to get them in place, but surely sometimes circumstances are unavoidable right?

Shall I just give her notice and offer to make up time at some other stage? I doubt she will even agree to me making up time, because it would never suit her, but I can offer.

What is the legal view of this? I mean the main reason we got these orders was so that the ex couldn't withhold my daughter from me. If I sometimes cannot commit to the times listed where my daughter should spend time with me, am I doing anything wrong?

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[AllForHer]

Orders impose an obligation on the resident parent to make the child/ren available to spend time with the non-resident parent. They don't impose an obligation on the non-resident parent to take up those opportunities to spend time with the child/ren. The Court cannot force a parent's involvement in their lives, after all.

That said, if you're dealing with an unreasonable person, telling them the above probably won't stop them from being unreasonable.

So, what do you do?

Well, what I would do is ask the child's grandparents or another trusted relative if they're able to look after the child for you while you're travelling away for work. Unless you have orders stating otherwise, you're at liberty to organise whatever babysitter you see fit if you're unable to look after the child yourself.

The time your child spends with you is not visitation, it's parenting time, and as it happens, sometimes parents need to organise alternative care for their kids when they need to travel for work.

 

[Woo2511]

Getting someone else to look after her is not an option, unfortunately. I just don't have the network. Maybe for a day or 2, but no longer.

What about offering to make up time when I am back - Like having her for a full week outside of the holidays? I never want to miss out on spending any time with her, but sometimes things are unavoidable. I'm guessing that my ex does not have to agree to extra time though right?

 

[AllForHer]

You can certainly ask mum if she's open to trading weeks, but no, she doesn't have to agree if she's not compelled to by the orders.

Look, I would do whatever is going to cause the least conflict for you. If you have to leave kiddo with mum for the week and mum won't facilitate make-up time, it may be best to just write that time off and move on.

 

[sammy01]

Dear ex,
Due to work commitments I will not be available to look after XXX from (date- to Date). I am prepared to find some alternate make up time if you prefer? Please be advised that this is a one off change and in the event you were to require a one off change I would do all I could to accommodate it. (the next bit is a lie - I don't care) Please be advised that this one off change is a result of some training that is required because of a change of employment. There is a good likelihood that the change of employment will result in a higher income and hence more child support.
Please let me know if there are any dates that might suit you for make up time.
Kind Regards
Blah blah

Send that and see how you go.