Okay, stop.
Do you know what people love most about the phrase ‘parental alienation’? It means they get to pass the buck. They get to blame the other parent or the Court or the lawyers or the police for 100% of the problems, and they get to pretend they’re just a victim so they can escape without consequence and with pride in tact.
But the reason the Court doesn’t like the phrase ‘parental alienation’ in Australia is because it’s speculative, and it tells the Court that one parent doesn’t want to take any responsibility for the problems between them. You can’t expect equal care when you don’t want to take equal responsibility.
Now, my husband is just one of many fathers on this forum who has gained equal care or more by going to Court, and I believe you’ll find that not one of the people here who attained such an outcome ever once referred to ‘parental alienation’ in their Court documents. What we did instead was learn the system and learn how to play the game better. We learned how to make concessions for past mistakes, and started focusing on solutions.
If Mum refuses your very polite suggestion to negotiate a parenting plan that allows either party to travel once conditions of notice and itinerary are met, then advise her that you’re sorry that you can’t agree and if she changes her mind, you’re happy to discuss, but in the meantime, if she needs someone to look after the child while she’s away, you are able to do so. Don't argue about it, don't enter the back-and-forth, don't respond when she's pushing your buttons. If your child passes on her mum's complaints to you, you say 'That's an adult issue that your mum and I are working out, it's not something you need to stress over'.
Remember: you don't have to enter every argument that you're invited into.
