Screw it - I can't help myself, so let's have some fun!
All three letters say pretty much the same thing and they appear very serious - but this is hilarious!!! I already know from experience that these clowns are criminal geniuses (or "genii" if that word doesn't sit right with you), but it appears that they moonlight as stand-up comedians as well - and they're bloody damn good at it too!!!
NOTICE TO REMOVE VEHICLE
FACS Housing has received a number of complaints about a Vehicle, [description and rego] that you, or a member of your household own.
The vehicle has been left in nature strip adjacent to [address] for approximately 12 weeks.
DJC Housing has reasonable grounds to believe that this car has been abandoned.
If this vehicle is not removed within seven days of this notice being issued, FACS Housing will apply to the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal for an order to dispose of the vehiscle under Section 133 of the Residential Tenancies Act.
If you have any questions about this matter, please contact us on the telephone number at the top of this letter.
DCJ Housing
Okay, let's count the jokes in this routine...
FACS Housing ... that you, or a member of your household own ...
...
DJC Housing has reasonable grounds to believe that this car has been abandoned.
Umm - they claim that I or a member of my household own the car, yet at the same time they claim that I/we've relinquished ownership??? Umm, Okay. Can somebody buy these poor decrepit souls a dictionary please? (
Google: abandon definition) Apparently I'm living in a paradox.
Moving on...
Hang on a minute - who's "DCJ Housing?" Isn't it "FACS Housing?"
If this vehicle is not removed within seven days of this notice being issued, FACS Housing ...
Oh, it is FACS Housing. Whew... I thought I was seeing things...
... will apply to the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal for an order to dispose of the vehicle under Section 133 of the Residential Tenancies Act.
Ummm?!?!? ... and you are aware that s133 resides in an entire division that was repealed on 1 July 2020, right? But I do find myself wondering... what does s133 actually say? Hmmm, let's see ...
133 Landlord may seek Tribunal direction
(1) This section applies if the tenant abandons the residential premises or dies.
HOLY SH*T!! SOMEONE CALL A BLOODY AMBULANCE!!! (Now you gotta admit - that's a pretty damn good pun!)
Well, given that the rent is 4 weeks in credit and a payment was made today, I'm pretty sure that these clowns are well aware of the fact that I haven't abandoned the premises. So... I guess I must be dead, right? Well, let's see...
[checks for breath, heartbeat, etc]
Hmmm... Nup. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not dead. Do you guys think I should seek a second opinion???
Signed ...
POOF!!!! MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED!!!!
Okay, now that's enough. I'm always making jokes about these clowns changing their name from week to week, but this is just outright ridiculous! And YES - these are REAL letters and there really are THREE of them!!!
Even these idiots themselves can't keep up with what they are called. It's such a shame that "DoCS" is already taken, because clearly the only valid and apt name for this department is the "Department of Corrupted Services".
I haven't laughed so hard since binge watching the entire collection of Robin Williams' stand-up gigs - and given that he was the greatest comedian of all time, that's really saying something!
![Big Grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
![Big Grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
![Big Grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
But at the end of the day, these guys just don't compare. I miss you Robin.