QLD Seeking Final Orders - for perusal

[Migz]

FINAL ORDERS SOUGHT:



GENERAL:

(1) That all previous Orders, Agreements and Parenting Plans be discharged.
(2) Except as otherwise stated, XXXXXX (“the Father”) and XXXXXX (“the Mother”) are to have equal shared parental responsibility for the
child, XXXXXX, born 12th April, 2016 (“the Child”).

(a) The parents are to consult with each other about decisions to be made in the
exercise of their equal shared parental responsibility as follows:
(b) They shall inform the other parent about the decision to be made;
(c) They shall consult with each other on terms that they agree;
(d) They shall make a genuine effort to come to a joint decision;
(e) They shall consult with each other where the child is involved in an event, in which
the child attends, more than once.


(3) That in the event that family dispute resolution and/or mediation, does not result in
an agreement, neither party shall rely upon satisfying the principles of “Rice V Asplund
case” to object to the party bringing any application seeking to vary orders, given the
young age of the Child and their likely significant change in their routine and
development

(4) In the event that the parent is, busy and/or, ill and/or, unable to provide care, for
the Child, the other parent is given first priority to care for the Child, before seeking
outside help.
(5) These court orders take effect from the first Sunday after the date of these orders.

LIVE WITH:

(6) The Child live with the Mother as set out hereunder and at those times the Mother
be responsible for the day to day care, welfare and development.

(7) The Child live with the Father as set out hereunder and at those times the Father be
responsible for the day to day care, welfare and development.

(8) That the Father is to collect the Child from daycare or the Mothers residence (when the Child is not at daycare) at the commencement of time and the Mother is to collect the Child from daycare or the Fathers residence (when the Child is not at daycare) at the conclusion of time.

(9) The Mother is to drop the Child off at Daycare prior to 9am on Fridays and the Father to pickup the Child from Daycare before closing time. This allows for the Fathers variable finishing times on Fridays.

LIVE WITH (CON’T):

(10) The Child is to live with the Mother and spend time with the Father by agreement,
but failing agreement;

Upon the Child attaining the Age of 12 month through to 16 months, Child shall spend time with the Father; (the table below reflects the current interim orders as per 27/02/2017)


THESE ORDERS WERE AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET BASED ON "GROWTH IN TIME"


LIVE WITH (CON’T):

(16) Upon the Child attaining the Age of 36 months, order (15) shall be suspended and
the Child shall spend time with the Father and Mother equally 50/50 week about, with the change over at 9am Friday.


SPECIAL OCCASIONS:

(17) That the child spend time with the Father on special occasions as agreed between
the parties, failing agreement, as follows;
(18) From 3:00pm 24th December until 3:00pm 25th December in even years & from
3:00pm 25th December until 3:00pm 26th December in odd years.
(19) From 3:00pm Thursday proceeding Good Friday until 6:00pm Easter Saturday in
even years & from 6:00pm Easter Saturday until 6:00pm Easter Monday in odd years.
(20) On weekends that comprise Fathers Day from 2:00pm Friday until 6:00pm Sunday.
(21) From 3:00pm the day proceeding the Childs birthday, until 3:00pm on the Childs birthday in odd years & from 3:00pm on the Childs birthday, until 3:00pm the day after the Childs birthday in even years.
(22) On the Fathers birthday, from 8:00am to 6:00pm
(23) On Halloween, from 2:00pm to 7.30pm
(24) From 3.00 pm on 31st December in odd years for 24 hours, until 3.00 pm on 1st January.
(25) That the child spend time with the Mother on special occasions as agreed between
the parties, failing agreement, as follows;
(26) On weekends that comprise Mothers Day from 2:00pm Friday until 6.00pm Sunday.
(27) On the Mothers birthday, from 8:00am to 6:00pm.


MEDICAL:

(28) The parent whom is caring for the child at the time, shall not take the child to
hospital or medical practitioner without first consulting the other parent, except in an
emergency.
(29) If the parent whom is caring for the child at the time, takes the child to the
hospital or medical practitioner in an emergency, then that parent shall advise the other
parent of the circumstances as soon as possible.
(30) That each parent has the right to participate in medical, dental and other health
appointments and receive information regarding the Child’s health and medical situation
and receive copies of all reports, information and documentation at any time that they
see fit to make a request for such. This court order shall be sufficient authority of all
such information, to be supplied to either (Mother) , and/or, (Father) should they request it.
(31) Medical professionals will be authorized to speak with either parent about the
Child’s health and welfare.
(32) That each parent inform the other parent in the event that a Daycare Incident Report is signed.



COMMUNICATION:

(33) That the Child be at liberty to contact the Mother or Father by telephone whenever
the Child wishes to speak with the Mother or Father. The parent with whom the Child is
spending time, will facilitate such communication and ensure the Child has privacy for
the duration of the call (this includes all future types of electronic communication as
well ie. Video calls, Skype, Viber, Phone App Calls etc)
(34) That the Mother or Father be at liberty to contact the Child by telephone whenever
the parent wishes to speak with the child, and the parent with whom the child is
spending time will facilitate such communication (this includes all future types of
electronic communication as well ie. Video calls, Skype, Viber, Phone App Calls etc)
(35) That the parents shall communicate only about the child and only via e-mail except
in case of an emergency at which time the parents shall communicate via phone call or
text message.
(36) That the parents shall not denigrate or undermine the other parent in the presence
or hearing range of the child.
(37) In the event that the parent caring for the Child cannot contact the other parent in
case of an emergency, they will contact XXXXXX (for the Mother) or XXXXXX (for the
Father) and notify them accordingly.
(38) The parents are to return messages and missed emails sent between 7am and
7pm as soon as practical within 2 two hours.
(39) Should the Child become excessively upset or distressed at anytime when spending
time with one parent and is unable to be consoled, that parent will take steps to notify
the other parent. Both parents agree that in ordinary situations, both parents will
encourage the Child to stay for the duration of the scheduled contact.
(40) A communication book and/or email and/or app to be used/sent within an hour of
the handover of the Child to the other parent. That the parties do utilise a
communication book (or transfer of information as above) to record issues concerning
the care, welfare and development of the Child.
(41) Keep the other parent informed at all times of their mobile telephone number,
landline telephone number, email address, residential address and any address of his /
her place of employment, and provide in writing within 24 hours of any changes.

 

[Migz]

EDUCATION:

(42) The Child is to attend the XXXXXX Daycare Centre until
otherwise ordered by the court or agreed by the parties in writing, that it is no longer in
the Childs best interest to attend this daycare facility.
(43) The Mother will be responsible for the costs associated with the Childs attendance
at the Daycare Centre.
(44) That both parents will be put onto the daycare/schools emergency contact list.
(45) That the parents authorize, by this order, the daycare/school attended by the Child
to give parents information about the Childs educational progress and other
daycare/school related activities and supply them with copies of daycare day sheets,
daycare communication books, reports, certificates, merits, awards and photos obtained
by the Child (at the parents cost)

EDUCATION (CON’T):

(46) Each parent has the right to participate in activities that daycare/school is running.
(47) Facilitate the attendance of the Child at any extra-curricular activity and special
events offered by the daycare/school (but not limited too), provided that each party do
attain the agreement of the other prior to enrolling the Child in any extra-curricular
activity be it daycare/school/externally.
(48) Both parents are to be equally involved in the Childs education and decisions made
in the best interest of the Child shall be discussed between the parents.

CHILD’S NAME:

(49) The Child is to retain either her maternal or paternal family name.
(50) If the Mother changes her family name from “[XXXXXX]”, the Child is to adopt her
Fathers family name “[XXXXXX]”, such that the Child’s family name reflects at least
one of her parent’s family names.

HOLIDAYS/TRAVEL:

(51) If either parent wishes to take the Child on holidays, it will be agreed upon prior by
both parents, and the conditions recorded in writing, with a min. of two weeks notice.
(52) In the event the Child does not sleep at either;XXXXXX, OR,XXXXXX. The parent who is caring for the Child at the time must notify the other parent by 6pm
of the new overnight address of the Child and who’s care the Child will be in.
(53) That should the Child travel outside of the XXXXXX Regional Council area while
in that parents care, they will provide the other parent with an address and reliable
contact telephone number.
(54) That the Child shall spend holiday time with the Father as agreed between the
parties and failing agreement, as follows. Until the child commences school, for a period
of no longer than seven days, four times each year, with the father to give at least a
minimum of two weeks notice to the Mother of intended holiday time.
(55) That either parent may travel overseas with the Child if a full itinerary, is provided
to the other parent. Overseas travel may only occur when both parents have agreed to
the proposed itinerary.
(56) The Childs passport is to be locked in an 8 digit key code safe at XXXXXX. With each parent having 4 digits of the combination code.

THIRD PARTIES:

(57) The parent who is caring for the Child will not allow any third parties to engage in
aggressive, anti social, or abusive behaviour infront of the Child.
(58) The parent who is caring for the Child will not allow any third parties to engage in
aggressive, anti social or abusive behaviour whilst engaging in communication with the other parent.
(59) That both parents will inform the other parent if we intend introducing any other
significant adult in our Child’s life.

SPECIFIC ISSUES:

(60) Both parents agree that, neither parent will excessively use or consume (or permit
any other person to excessively use or consume) alcohol in the presence of the Child.
(61) Both parents agree that, neither parent will use or consume (or permit any other
person to use or consume) illicit substances in the presence of the Child.
(62) Both parents must submit to a random tox screen twice a year with the cost of the procedure covered By the Father, the test will be used to look for drug and alcohol abuse and cover tests such as CDT, GGT, and MCV/MCH and hair follicle testing, but not limited to.
(63) The Child is not allowed to relocate outside of the XXXXXX Regional Council boundary area.
(64) Both parents shall take all reasonable measures to ensure that the Child continues
swimming lessons.
(65) The Father is to complete his 16 week course in Group Therapy on Attitudinal Change and Domestic Violence by the end of December 2017.
(66) The Father is to complete his “Triple P” parenting course by December 2017.
(67) Both Parents are to carry out the Parenting Orders Program and obtain the certificate of completion by the end of December 2017.
(68) Make up time for either parent is to be of equal time to the time that is lost originally, this make up time must be allowed to be carried out during the following week in which the time was lost, and must abide by the directions as outlined in point 8 of this order.

 

[AllForHer]

You haven't asked for it, but I'll give feedback anyway for the benefit of other users.

Order 2(e) - Putting rules on how many times parents must consult about a matter is micromanagement. A more reasonable inclusion would be provisions for how you resolve disputes if you can't reach agreement, for example through mediation. For example, cut out 2(a) to 2(e) and just write:

In the exercise of equal shared parental responsibility, the parents shall make a genuine effort to reach a joint agreement in relation to any major, long-term decision affecting the child (including, but not limited to, education, religion, name, significant medical treatment, and relocation of such nature that it impedes on the child's time with the other parent). In the event agreement cannot be reached, the parents shall attend family dispute resolution in an effort to come to an agreement.

Order 4 - I know some parents include a 'first right of refusal' clause, but they're not very enforceable (I was able to care for the child, Your Honour, I simply decided to facilitate the child spending time with her grandparents), and this particular version of one is nearing on unreasonable. Technically, unless you intend to offer first right of refusal every day, both of you would be in contravention every time you went to work and the kid went to day care. On top of that, parenting responsibilities don't stop just when a parent is ill, so I have no idea why illness should result in the kid going into the other parent's care. Remember, this isn't an order for visitation, this is an order for parenting.

Order 5 - Mate, the court orders take effect from the date of the orders. You don't get to pick a day that suits you.

Orders 6 and 7 - These aren't well written, and don't need to be included anyway because this is the default, but if you must include something about day-to-day decisions, it can be simplifed to:

That the mother have responsibility for day-to-day care of the child during the child's time with the mother, and the father have responsibility for day-to-day care of the child during the child's time with the father.

Order 8 - What happens when the child starts school? Do changeover still occur at the day care? Something like this would make more sense:

That changeovers shall take place at the child's school or day care except on non-attendance days, when changeover shall take place at the mother's residence at the commencement of the child's time with the father, or at the father's residence at the commencement of the child's time with the mother.

Order 9 - Again, this is micromanagement and it's not a reciprocal order because you're providing minimal flexibility for mum in the morning, maximum flexibility for you in the afternoon, and apparently, the same doesn't apply on Fridays when the mother is picking the child up in the afternoon. Whatever applies to mum should also apply to you, but I would leave this particular order out all together.

Order 10 - We've reached 10 orders and we're finally on to the actual care arrangements. Hooray! They should be written out clearly, though, for example:

a) That until the child's 1st birthday, the child spend time with the father on X, Y and Z;
b) Upon the child attaining the age of 1, order X(a) shall be discharged and the child shall commence spending time with the father on X, Y and Z;
c) From [date], order X(b) shall be discharged and the child shall commence spending time with the father on X, Y and Z;
d) From [date), order X(c) shall be discharged and the child shall commence living with each of the parents on a week-about basis with changeover to occur on Fridays after day care or school, or at 9:00am on a non-attendance day.

Orders 26 and 27 - So, you get guaranteed time for Christmas, Easter, Father's Day, the child's birthday, your birthday, and even Halloween and New Years, but mum only gets guaranteed time on her birthday and Mother's Day? Rubbish. I'd suggest being a bit fairer with the care arrangements here, for example:

That the child spend additional time with each of the parents as follows:
a) In even years, from 3pm Christmas Eve until 3pm Christmas Day with the father and from 3pm Christmas Day until 3pm Boxing Day with the mother; and in odd years, from 3pm Christmas Eve with the mother and from 3pm Christmas Day until 3pm Boxing Day with the father;
b) In even years, from 3pm on the Thursday preceding Good Friday until 6pm Easter Saturday with the father and from 6pm Easter Saturday until 6pm Easter Monday with the mother, and in odd years, from 3pm on the Thursday preceding Good Friday until 6pm Easter Saturday with the mother and from 6pm Easter Saturday until 6pm Easter Monday with the father;
c) In even years, from 3pm the day preceding the child's birthday until 3pm on the day of the child's birthday with the father and from 3pm on the child's birthday until 3pm the day following the child's birthday with the mother; and in odd years, from 3pm the day preceding the child's birthday until 3pm on the day of the child's birthday with the mother and from 3pm on the child's birthday until 3pm the day following the child's birthday with the father;
d) With the mother from 2pm on the Friday preceding Mother's Day, until 6pm on Mother's Day;
e) With the mother from 2pm on the Friday preceding Father's Day, until 6pm on Father's Day;
f) With the parent on the day of that parent's birthday from 8am until 6pm.

Order 28 - This is, again, micormanagement. A psychologist, or any other long-term treating practitioner, sure, but you want mum to consult with you about a croupy chest or an infected graze before taking the kid to a regular GP? Come on, now. Do you think your signature should be on the prescription, too? The extent of the other parent's involvement in minor medical issues should be notification, contact details for the treating practitioner, and freedom to receive medical reports and records, as covered by Orders 30 and 31.

Order 32 - Again, micromanagement. If it's an illness, it's covered by Order 30-31, if it's an emergency, it's covered by Order 29, and anything less than that is a day-to-day issue.

Orders 33 and 34 - Total freedom for parent/child communication at any time they want is a recipe for disaster. Are you cool for 50 phone calls a day? Facetime during dinner? What about when the kid is meant to be doing homework and says 'Nah, I wanna call mum instead'? There's a good reason most orders impose restrictions on this, and it's so they can parent the kid as they see fit without the constant intrusion of the other household. You're better of restricting phone communication to within certain time frames and days when it's the parent calling the child, and at reasonable times when it's the child calling the parent.

Orders 37 and 38 - This is a very long checklist that you have written for emergency situations. So, mum can either text or call you, but if you don't respond within two hours between the hours of 7am and 7pm, she has to call someone else to notify them, instead? Totally unrealistic and excessive. The extent of obligation on either party in an emergency situation is to send a text to the other parent to notify them of the emergency. That's it. If you don't read that text, that's your fault, not her's.

Order 39 - I genuinely have no idea what purpose this order serves, other than to teach the kid how to get really good at playing mum and dad off each other. I'm not sure if you've ever seen a seven-year-old who doesn't want to clean her room, but let me tell you, 'excessively upset or distressed' doesn't even come close to describing the tantrum that ensues, yet I guarantee that if we notified mum about it, mum would paint us as big, bad meanies for trying to teach the kid about cleanliness and responsibility. Part of the job in parenting is working out how to console your kid when they're upset. If you want to palm that off to the other parent, then maybe equal time isn't for you.

Order 40 - Wait, so you want communication to be only via e-mail, but you also want a communication book? Pick one or the other, but you're overstepping the boundaries by demanding both.

 

[AllForHer]

Order 42 - Is the child's day care enrolment in dispute, or is this just precautionary? Why have you assigned a day care, but not a school? Is it because the choice of school, like the choice of day care, should fall under shared parental responsibility, and is therefore covered by Order 2?

Order 43 - I assume you won't be using the day care, if you're expecting mum to cover all costs?

Order 49 and 50 - Is the child's name in dispute? If it's not, then why is this being included in orders? What if mum re-marries when the child is 14 and the child doesn't want their name changed?

Order 50 - So, what happens if, as is the ordinary protocol, you book flights to Town X six weeks before you're scheduled to leave, then notify mum two weeks out as required, and mum refuses? Any holiday that falls entirely within their time with the child shouldn't need agreement, only notice.

Order 52 - Controlling, micromanagement. If mum wants to take the kid for a sleepover at grandma's, that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Order 54 - So, you want equal time, but only you get holiday time during the year, not mum? How does that make any sense?

Order 55 - No overseas holidays, then?

Orders 57 to 58 - While well-intended, these orders are unenforceable because neither parent can control the actions of third parties.

Order 59 - What's a 'significant adult', exactly? A teacher? An aunt by marriage? A day care worker? Or are you talking about a new partner? If you're talking about a new partner, the Court won't make this order because it is neither party's business.

Order 62 - What, pray tell, happens if the tox screen comes back positive for drug consumption? There's no provision in the orders for that, so I'm wondering what the point is, other than to exert control and impose excessive costs on the other?

Order 63 - Is someone seeking a relocation order? Or is this again precautionary?

Order 68 - What is 'make up time'? When is it considered owed? Will make-up time be expected when the first right of refusal clause is exercised?

Migz, I get what you're trying to do, but these parenting orders are excessive and controlling, and I can see many, many reasons why mum would not be agreeing to any of them. A successful co-parenting relationship - which is what you should be aiming for - requires mutual trust and respect for appropriate boundaries, but these orders overstep those boundaries on many occasions. Mum shouldn't need your approval to go on holidays. She shouldn't need to tell you every time she wants to take the kid to a doctor over some trivial condition, she shouldn't need to tell you when she is staying at the child's grandmother's place. None of that information has anything to do with the child's long-term care, welfare or development, it's all day-to-day stuff, which you already said in orders is the responsibility of the parent with whom the child is spending time, so why do you need to know about it all?

On top of that, you're denying mum of holiday time and special occasions with the kid - why should you get those opportunities, but not her? It doesn't make any sense, and it totally ignores what's best for the kid.

I think you need to rethink what direction you're taking here with your case, mate, and I mean that with most sincere desire to see you gain a good outcome for your child.

 

[Rod]

For someone who is self representing in court the orders are an admirable attempt at cleaning up a messy situation.

I also think AllForHer makes some valid points.

And if Migz completes his course he may learn some valuable life skills

Take on board AllForHer suggestions and be prepared to make changes at or before court.