QLD Problems After Family Court Trial - Options?

[ProudFather]

Hi,

I was hoping for some help with our current situation.

It has been a very complicated 3 years back and forth with family court, however, we had a trial in Sept 2017 and final orders by consent were made.

Without going into too much detail, it's 50/50 parental responsibility with my partner (the children's Father) primary carer. It has been ordered that communication be by email only and there are specifics as to the timeframe emails need to be responded to. This isn't being followed by the other party and it has made co-parenting extremely difficult as important emails are ignored.

My question is, what are our options? Can you contravene someone for not complying with orders after trial? If so, what is the process? Do we email the other party's lawyer? We no longer have a lawyer. Also, avoiding court would be best for everyone, however, the lack of communication is making everything extremely difficult.

Another note, the other party had been contravened during the court process too, it seems they have no intentions whatsoever to follow the orders.

Any help would be appreciated.

If more info is required to help you all help me, I'm happy to answer.

 

[sammy01]

ok so thre is not going into too much detail.... And not giving enough detail...
What are the living arrangements for the kids? is dad primary carer? as that is how I read your post.....

Look if you guys are primary carers and the email stuff is annoying but doesn't actually impact on your time with the kids then let it go... Just my advice.. So I'm a male, I'm the primary carer of my 3 kids... There are lots of rules on our orders about communication and when the kids see their mum.... I don't follow them... I use them as a guide... IF she is to have 7 nights with the kids, I try and offer 8... IF the kids are meant to be dropt off at 3pm and she drops them off at 6pm I cringe my teeth and smile... Sure I've been sitting at Mcdonalds for 3 hours.... Worth going to court? nope...

But without a little bit more detail about your case it is hard to give specific advice...

 

[AllForHer]

The only contraventions the Court will really invest time and resources into are those in which a parent is withholding a child from the other parent. Outside of that, it's safe to say the only 'contravention orders' a Court will make is to first attend mediation, and then maybe a bond at best. You can organise mediation yourself, so do you really want to spend time and money pursuing a contravention that falls into the 'less serious' category by Court standards?

On top of that, the Court is going to ask how resourceful you have been in trying to resolve the problem yourself, rather than expecting the Court to do it for you. What are you wanting to communicate about? Is there another way you can resolve it without mum's input? For example, if it's about school, is there any reason you can't just get an answer from the school directly? Is there any reason you can't advise mum of your intentions and a seven-day time frame before you'll act on those intentions to give mum a chance to respond?

 

[ProudFather]

Good afternoon,

Thank you for taking the time to assist, another perspective is valuable so a big Thank you!.

I am the children's father, the primary caregiver. Currently the care arrangements are a 9/5 between myself and a Grandparent (MGM). Shared parental. Achieved on the final day of trial at the suggestion of the presiding Judge. The children's mother has re-entered the children's lives a few weeks prior to the final hearing and spends time with the children whilst they spend time with their Grand mother. Supervised by the Grandmother. This leaves the door open for the children's mother to pick up the 5 days and parental responsibility from the MGM, which would be in the best interests of the children. This was the position of the legal representation of the MGM during the final hearing.

In the hearing it was apparent communication is an issue, as the MGM has no email or phone, a claim made by her representation.

A key point in the final orders is a transition of a child whom was alienated from myself and her siblings. The issue of P.a was raised by a report writer in a family report. As a result a re-connection is taking place, managed

 

[ProudFather]

By a physiologist. An order was made for the MGM to provide and communicate on issues for the children via email on an email address provided in the final orders. This has never been followed. The MGM both attend the therapy by alternating each week on who attend with the child. I have had to email her solicitor the dates as she historically fails to attend on the dates of her responsibility which are emailed to her. This has also been the case with school events, extra curricular activities, medication and illness. This is the breakdown. I have to email her solicitor on the important issues however I feel some messages are not getting through.

The above is manageable, however recently the psychologist has informed me she has had to pull the MGM up for denigrating me during the therapy. And that the re-unification therapy will not be productive whilst the MGM is involved. The psychologist is reluctant to put this in writing and has requested I address this with the MGM. I guess this is my dilemma that I need perspective and perhaps alternative advice to avoid court again. Many thanks in advance.

 

[AllForHer]

Curious that the psychologist won't raise this issue of PA with the grandmother. Why not? What's the hesitation if they think she is hindering progress? Is it ordered that grandma attend therapy?

 

[ProudFather]

The child is no longer being alienated with respect to time. However she has been withheld two times over the last 3mths. She is transitioning to 9/5 per fortnight from 1 night per week. The psychologist is to support the child during this transition with the re-unification therapy. The psychologist has told me she has had to pull the grandma up for her denigration of myself infront of the child during the therapy. I don't understand why the decision to include the alienator was made however it was strongly suggested. As the psychologist has said, unless the grandmothers issues are resolved it will be difficult to support the child who is exposed to negative behaviour directed at a parent from the significant other she emotionally aligned with. If subpoenaed there is an expert witness as we have both attended. I can request notes however the psychologist tells me she is reluctant to put anything in writing in regards to a recommendation of such. The psychologist has requested if I can make arrangements to not include the grandmother because in her words it's unproductive. The grandmother can be somewhat very difficult. Would it be viable to mediate this?. I have never mediated as the application filed against me was ex parte.

 

[ProudFather]

Abit of historical information related is A family report was filed recommending the MGM undergoes counselling and not have contact until she did such. However the judge at the time did not accept it. Only two of the children were removed with the child to be transitioned pretty much the same way we are attempting now. The MGM just did not do the counselling and supplied an affadavit attacking the report writer. the MGM refused to participate in that re-unification therapy and with held the child on the scheduled times of the appointments or when she thought I was going to take her, this occurred for weeks and mths. The issue was raised as there was no progress. A new judge received the case and trial was given 3mths after that directions hearing. Which is why we did not proceed with another contravention. The court postponed the trial date 2 weeks prior to commencing. Then unfortunately it all became historical and in the past as we waited for the final hearing.

 

[AllForHer]

Well, ordinarily, the alienating party is included in reunification therapy with the intention of changing their attitude toward the alienated party, which will obviously support the subject child in reunification therapy. It's less effective if there's still an alienating party lurking around causing problems, which is why they are often included.

Your situation is potentially a bit tricky. Yes, it most definitely is something you can mediate about, but I'm concerned about what happens if mediation fails, and I am inclined to think that it will fail if the psychologist won't assist with making the arrangements they're asking you to make. Obviously, the grandmother isn't very friendly toward you, so why would she comply with anything you request?

The psychologist really needs to be the objective third party here and the voice of reason that determines how this process moves forward. Indeed, that's literally their job. Perhaps you should put the pressure on them to assist by at least making a report of some description that you can present to the grandmother for her consideration first, and failing that, to the Court to get the orders changed - which, mind, is going to be nearly impossible without the psychologist's support, though there may be another way.

Can you tell me a little about the mother's reappearance? Did she participate at all in the Court proceedings? Is her time with the children stipulated in the orders? What's your relationship with her like?

 

[sammy01]

I'm not king what I'm gonna write.
The courts seem intent on letting MGM be involved with the kids. What she chooses to say to the kids is her issue... Look the kids are with you the majority of the time... IT seems like once this is finished MGM will have significant time with the kids.... You cant file a contravention every time granny says a nasty word...

So my advice? learnt to accept this crazy stuff... Be te best dad you can and let the kids work it out for themselves...