SA Parenting Rights - Non-Biological Child Wants to be in My Care?

[brenton evers]

Hi. I have a 9 year old son who is not biologically mine (met my ex when she was pregnant). He wants to reside with me and be in my care (custody of children).

Does he get a say in this? Do his wishes hold any weight in the eyes of family law?

 

[AllForHer]

If you were a father figure for most of his life, you will be considered a 'relevant person' to the child and can thus can pursue parenting orders, but the court will only make orders in the child's best interests.

A nine-year-old's opinion could be established through a family report, what happens when his mother meets someone new and they become his step-father? Will he then have to live and spend time with two father figures? What if his biological dad comes back on the scene? Three father figures? Is that really in the child's best interests?

My personal thoughts is that you should probably discourage his opinion about living with you and encourage him to enjoy and stay living with his mum. Spend time with him, certainly, but also respect that him living with you would not likely be in his best interests long-term.

 

[AllForHer]

Oh, legally, the court will consider the opinion of a child, but the younger they are, the less weight it holds. Ordinarily, a 12yo if deemed mature enough will be able to basically choose who they live with, but a child of nine is less likely to be considered by the court as knowing what's in their best interests.

 

[brenton evers]

Thanks for your advice andthe second response is enlightening but as for leting him go & letting him just fade from my life never as he is asking to live with me due art to adress these and im just reseaching my kids rights and influence of choices to the court !all i can say is if you have been there only father fiure in there life for nearly ten years it is irresponsible neglectfl and to issues in his current situation to wich proceedings are about to st

 

[AllForHer]

I agree with you that 'letting him fade from your life' is probably not in his best interests, but I'm merely suggesting that things be kept in perspective, that's all. The court may well decide it's in his best interests to live with you, but I just think it will take a very strong case to reach that outcome. Anyway, I hope this has helped a bit, but please do seek legal advice if you can.

 

[brenton evers]

I agree with you that 'letting him fade from your life' is probably not in his best interests, but I'm merely suggesting that things be kept in perspective, that's all. The court may well decide it's in his best interests to live with you, but I just think it will take a very strong case to reach that outcome. Anyway, I hope this has helped a bit, but please do seek legal advice if you can.

i realy do appreciate your advice and reality in most cases is that as a step father i have no rites how ever i will figgt to my last breath to repay the love and commitment given to me by them one can only hope the courts can see and accept the thoughts of a 9 y o eveand accept he has a voice !

 

[brenton evers]

and yes every step of the way before any descision i sought advise either from here or by way of contacting legal advice line as i know that this choice to go for full time care is huge but after a lot of thought and consideration i decided to do it and believe it or not when the ex came to retrieve them with the police after they vilified me and treated me with utter contempt assuming my guilt they spoke to the 9 y o after he protested being returned to her and over turned there decision and left them in my care however much to the dismay of the senior officer who made the call to let them stay as i found out 2 days later she returned with the police again this time they were rude disinterested pigs who didnt care for the facts of endangered welfare at home as proven the first time thhey took them without care for there welfare and totally neglecting theere obligation to insure my childrens safety because of pure arrogance and disregard for the facts that were infact deemed to be of sufficient valid concern that they not be returned that there is being serious questions of the officers for there lack of care wich now means my son is in a proven high risk of violence place and getting them back to ensure there safety is a major process and the only action i can take is to complain to the ombudsman wich all be it gets people disciplined still doesnt get them back i am absolutely astonished by there actions and my son was petrified that they sent him back as he was the one who spoke up and had to face he wrath because of his action HOW DO I GET RETRIBUTION FOR THEIR CALLUS INFURIATING ACTIONS? I refuse for it to just go away and be another of those turn a blind eye its to hard decisions that's swept under the carpet. Especially after I said just ask why they decided waht they did on sunday after telling them she has gotten back with ex who used to beat her up to wich the arrogant police officer said "just get over it".

What can I do? Surely there must be more I can do to ensure he pays for his disgusting lazy neglectful choice to send him home even with proven facts. ANY IDEAS? Can I sue him personally to make it absolutely 100% clear these type of actions are not acceptable?

 

[brenton evers]

On sunday, the police attended my house with my ex as i refused to hand back my kids as i had been informed by my children she is in relationship with her former partner who she left due to violence against her. All this can be proven by both her getting AVO and also him having supervised visits to see his son her youngest due to fear. The police treated me with utter contempt obviously thinking my claims were all false as she told them they not in a relationship ignoring my pleas and concerns until they made me wake my oldest boy at which time he started protesting going back to her. Luckily the officer felt concern then asked me to leave so she could talk to which led to her contacting her supervisor and them turning around their decision and stating that they will not remove them even though 2 of them not biologically mine. My ex then returned Wed with 2 different officers still treated me with utter contempt but this time refused to aknowlege any concerns no matter how hard I pleaded even total disregarding my ask of them to at least find out why decision on sunday and they had absolutely no interest in anything other than removing them. They took the boys but I refused to hand my daughter over (who is biologically mine).

Both me and my oldest son are in total despair as he reached out for help the first time he has spoken against his mother and now due to arrogance and total disregard for his obligation to ensure the duty of his care he is now been thrown back in the cauldron by the one who was meant to protect him. After they left, I rang the cop shop going off in digust at his absolute abandoment of his duty. In the morning, the senior officer who was called on Sunday rang me and when I told him what had happened he said what he was very upset and told me he will be emailing there supervisor imediately and followng the matter up. Now thats all good and well they intend to discipline that police officer from Wednesday and a formal complaint has been sent to the ombudsman for formal review. Also CPS is involved but that doesn't get my boys back and doesn't get them out of harms way until the process is gone through and i want to see the 2 arrogant police who with total disregard for my boys' welfare allowed this to happen. I have never felt so much rage and felt so helpless because of this.

Can anyone tell me how I can truly ensure that they are punished beyond just the extent of their police reprimand? I have made so many calls and they all agree its wrong but nobody has yet told me how to get my boys out of there imediately without delay so his bravery to speak up is rewarded not punished. PLEASE help.