QLD Orders for third party to facilitate communications?

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Bigbro

Active Member
16 August 2017
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Hi All,
I am wondering if any one here has heard of orders being made that all communication be made through a third party?

The situation relates to twin 5yo boys, they have been in the paternal mothers care for the past 2 years. The father died two years ago.

My sister began proceedings but is unstable (drugs) so my mother made an application in the case and was granted 1 weekend per month contact. My sister has drug problems but is allowed to visit the children during my mothers time provide she is supervised by my mother.

The trouble is the paternal grandmother had been relentlessly messaging my mother in an abusive way, calling her selfish, pathetic and making all sort of claims that she is running her down to the children etc.

I have had extensive email communication with the paternal grandmother in the last couple of years and it is impossible to reason with her, any discussion turns into a two page rant about long past events.

While this doesn't bother me, it has a huge emotional impact on my mother. The case is still ongoing and we are wondering if it would be worth while lodging an Affidavit with all the messages and requesting that the paternal grandmother direct all correspondence to me rather than my mother.

I just want to shield my mother from the barrage of nastiness she has to continually endure while discussing changeover times etc, she hasn't responded in kind to these types of messages thankfully.

I personally have pages and pages of ranting emails from the paternal grandmother that shows just how difficult it is to communicate with her.

Do you think a specific order saying she could no longer contact my mother directly would be possible?

Thanks in advance.
 

Bigbro

Active Member
16 August 2017
9
0
31
Quick bump in the hopes someone may respond.
TLDR: has anyone heard of orders being made that opposing partys must communicate through a third party when prolonged inappropriate communication is evident?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Can't say I'm aware of a case that orders communication through a third party, but there are other options.

One option is to get parenting orders for all communication to remain strictly about the child and occur only via a communication book that goes with the children between households. E-mail, text, verbal communication methods all allow the parties to respond to each other instantly, before their 'passions have cooled' (to borrow a phrase used in criminal law). A communication book puts a big gap between when one party sends a message and the other receives it, meaning there will be time for the emotions to settle before a response can be sent.

The second is an app. My husband and his ex use a co-parenting app that has a calendar showing agreed care arrangements, a messaging system, a change request option for when someone wants to change the care schedule, and a hub for information about the child (contact details, vaccinations, etc.). Having everything a bit more formalised in such a way reduces the need for the parties to communicate about things like what days the child is in each party's care and when changeover should take place.

The third is that you can file a domestic violence order against the paternal grandmother on behalf of your mother. In my experience, this was probably the most influential legal avenue that relieved my husband from his ex's aggressive communication style, and we didn't even get the DVO, just undertakings and comments on the record from the judge reprimanding the ex for her behaviour as told in her own affidavit.

Of course, you can ask the Court to make orders for all communication between the parties to pass through you, but I just don't know that you'll succeed, that's all.
 

Bigbro

Active Member
16 August 2017
9
0
31
Thank you very much for the reply AllForHer.
We are going to attempt the first option and see how we go.
 

thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
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The danger is asking for such an order is that you might be seen as not able to communicate effectively with your ex and that can damage your case

Much better to get an order restricting the type of contact, like to SMS or email and only in relation to the child/children