QLD Legal Aid Representation for Uncooperative Mothers?

[AllForHer]

Character references are good for criminal cases because they can assist in reducing a sentence, but in family law, they don't bring much to the table for the Court to really consider. In your case, a character reference doesn't prove anything - plenty of people use recreational drugs without losing their job. What you need to do to disprove the drug use allegation is say something like:

In reply to Paragraph X of the mother's affidavit, I accept the allegation that I have used marijuana on a recreational basis in the past, however I have not use marijuana nor any other illicit substance since [year]. I therefore deny any and all allegations that I am suffering from a drug addiction, and will be open to completing random drug testing at the mother's expense to alleviate her concerns accordingly.

Generally speaking, third-party evidence can serve the different purpose of providing more information about particular issues or incidents. The grandmother's involvement in the skull fracture issue, for example, should be documented in an affidavit deposed by her directly, while your partner's involvement in the skull fracture issue should be document in his own affidavit. It's important that grandma doesn't make statements of fact that she wasn't present for, just the same as it's important that dad doesn't make statements of fact that he wasn't present for, which is there should be an affidavit from each.

For the child support statement, it doesn't matter that it's long. You might write something like:

In reply to Paragraph X of the mother's response, I say that from [date] to [date], I paid child support on a weekly basis in accordance with assessments issued by Child Support. Annexed hereto and marked X is a true and correct copy of a statement from Child Support showing child support payments made between [date] and [date]. Also annexed hereto and marked Y is a bundle of true and correct copies of child support assessments issued by Child Support between [date] and [date]. On [date], I received an e-mail/phone call/letter from Child Support advising the mother had withdrawn from receiving child support payments. Annexed hereto and marked Z is a true and correct copy of the correspondence from Child Support advising of the mother's decision.

As to mum's assertion about the child's relationship with the father, I understand the desire to refute the claim, but it's better to let mum tell the Court herself just how unsupportive she is of the child's relationship with dad. Mum is not qualified to any standard that would be accepted by the Court to draw conclusions about the relationship between the child and his father, and indeed, the Court assigns family report writers for that exact reason, but that's just what she's done, and worse, she thinks that means the child should have even less of a relationship with dad, rather than more. Mindless nonsense and best let her decide for herself just how much rope she needs to finish the job.

Now, the paternal grandfather issue is a problem that is probably best addressed with an application in a case, rather than just an entry on an affidavit. If you file an application in a case for interim orders, you can kill two birds with one stone by also seeking to address the drug use allegations.

What you would do is seek interim orders for the child's time with dad (as usual), but also include an order restraining either parent from bringing the child into contact with the paternal grandfather, and another order for the father to complete drug tests at the mother's request, and at her expense.

In the accompanying affidavit for the application in a case, you'd outline the issues with the paternal grandfather as well as why it's a problem for the child (most likely because dad fears for the child's safety around the paternal grandfather) and annexe copies of the reasons for judgement from the paternal grandfather's Family Court matter, and from the DOCS report. You would also assert that the father has not taken any illicit drugs and does not suffer from a current drug addiction, and you are seeking interim orders for the completion of drug testing to alleviate the mother's concerns as deposed in her affidavit.

As for the mother's drug use, OxyContin is a pain medication and while I'm not sure about it's prescription in cases of celiac disease, it is prescribed for those suffering endometriosis. In any case, though, it's irrelevant because it's not for you or dad to play doctor and assert whether or not she's a hypochondriac or doctor-shopping. I am a bit confused by mum's evidence here, though - she said she has never used OxyContin, but also that she was prescribed OxyContin for her conditions? Did she fill the prescription every other month and never take the medication, or...? Confusing, but potentially pertinent to clarify under cross examination, particularly in light of the skull fracture issue.

I'll also add that you will struggle with telling the Court that she neglects medical issues, when she's getting the kid diagnosed for autism, eczema and celiac disease. Sure, they may be bogus diagnoses, but that's not for you to comment on, and it will look ignorant on your part if she's doing all this medical pursuit, and you're saying she neglects the kid medically.

In terms of annexures, it's up to you what you do, but I suggest keeping it short and simple. This is a reply, not a trial affidavit. Annexed the necessary documents, where they are relevant. Child support statements are relevant, character references are not.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

AllForHer thank you so much for your response again! We honestly feel like your advice is above and beyond the advice we have received from my partner's lawyer.

We will drop the character reference. I thought criminal and family courts might be different. We are confident that the family report in March will prove what kind of relationship my partner has with his son. Are you saying we shouldn't add in the spreadsheet of time at our house? We feel the one page document shows how often the mother has relied on us to care for the child without having to say so much. We do agree though, that the mother is going to show the judge herself just how little understanding she has of the child's needs of having a good relationship with both parents.

Regarding the skull fracture we appreciate the advice on the third party evidence. My partner's mother actually addressed the skull fracture in her own affidavit for her DVO case, are we best to use this affidavit or get a new one from her for this case? Also whilst on that subject. The mother has cited her own mother's affidavit a lot as evidence in her affidavit. We haven't received an affidavit of her mother's for the case, so are presuming she is talking about her mother's affidavit for the DVO case. Can she site from an affidavit from a different case in a different court?

Thanks again for the advice on how to address the child support assessments. My partner's child support statement is 9 pages long. My partner is currently sorting through his statements to find documents that assess the % of time in his care, we are thinking a year of documents stating he has the child for 28% should be enough? We will include the statement that the mother has requested to stop child support, the letter ‘acceptance of the child support assessment application’ when my partner applied to pay child support again and the letter 'application to end child support assessment accepted' when the mother refused to accept child support.

The application in a case we didn't really know was an option. We both feel that's a great way to deal with both the grandfather situation and finally squash the drug allegations. We have one concern regarding the random drug testing however. We have planned a holiday to America during May of this year. We haven't booked anything as of yet as we weren't sure how the court would judge my partner going on holiday throughout a court case.

Our concern is that the mother would request random drug testing while my partner was out of the country. We do not use our phone numbers when we travel and rely on facebook while we are away to correspond with family/friends. Would there be a way to request random drug testing to be carried out from the March court date to the final court date, but to somehow include a clause that my partner cannot be frowned upon if he cannot take a test due to not being aware as he is out of the country? Or are we best to not go away during the court case all together? This is our only trip planned for the year.

In regards to the endometriosis diagnosis, if the mother has been diagnosed with this disorder then we are not qualified by any means to argue with that. Our concerns lie with the fact that the mother used to assert she had Cronh's disease while she was with my partner. He urged her to seek professional help but she refused stating it was a severe illness and that her health would fade as she got older. She is now stating that it is coeliac disease.

I work as a medical receptionist for a colorectal surgeon of a hospital. It takes one gastroscopy/colonoscopy to diagnose either of the mentioned illnesses. The mother has had at least 3 colonoscopies over the past 3 years to try and discover what is wrong with her and what is causing her pain.

From our understanding, no doctor can find any evidence of what could be causing her pain. The endometriosis diagnosis is new to us. In all honesty we would just like to be told by a professional that the mother has in fact been diagnosed with any illness, and that her prescription drug use is appropriate to her health issues. We would not have a problem is we were assured that. I know that sounds terrible, but the mother lies continuously and we are worried the mother is exaggerating symptoms or self diagnosing and taking medication around a child that may not be necessary. Or that she indeed does suffer from severe pain but that it’s cause is psychological and therefore ongoing.

In regards to the evidence. The courts writer has informed our lawyer that the mother has been prescribed oxtcontin (to correct myself it was 16 packets in total) since 2014. The mother is asserting she was not being prescribed the medication until years later, so fingers crossed the judge picks up on this straight away. I’m hoping the mother brings up her drug use again to the judge and lies about it again as he was the one who requested the list of her medications.

In regards to the child not receiving medical treatment, that was a personal view. We will not be bringing this up in court as we feel there is not enough evidence for a court to be concerned.

We are now panning to annexure only key evidence in regards to the child's well-being; subpoenaed document of DOCS report, information about the grandfather from court (my partner’s mother is going to go through her paperwork for us this week, but should we also subpoena the DOCS records of the investigation carried out on my partner/his family while he was a child?) all of the child care documents, the messages of the mother stating her then partner was being abusive around her and the child, and possibly the messages of the mother stating each new address (she has stated she has only moved 3 times but we have 7 different addressed in message from her, we are still concerned that moving every couple of months is not the best for a child).

 

[AllForHer]

Just in light of your first comment, I really need to stress that I'm not giving you legal advice, I'm just giving you guidance on what you could do in the circumstances. I'm not a qualified lawyer by any stretch of the imagination, I'm simply a third-year law student who combines my incomplete legal studies with my personal experience in family law, so please don't discredit your lawyer's legal advice - they see more of both sides than what I do, so make sure you're putting the appropriate level of trust and confidence in them as required to fulfil their obligations to you at a professional level.

For your question about the grandmother's affidavits, I think it's best to have her depose a new one explicitly for your family law matter, and I think it would be prudent for her to include some facts about her experience with her ex-husband (the paternal grandfather), as well. If you file an application in a case to restrain the parents from facilitating contact between the paternal grandfather and the child, the grandmother's facts about the grandfather will give gumption to that application, and I think it would be prudent for her to include a rundown of the Court events in relation to the grandfather, as well. I don't think subpoenaing the DOCS report about the grandfather is critical at this point, if there's a Family Court finding about it already.

As a side note, as well, each Court should be considered as a separate entity, and they each operate exclusively on the evidence provided for the case that Court is hearing, so an affidavit for a DVO in the State Magistrates Court is not going to be freely available to the judge hearing an application for parenting orders in the Federal Circuit Court of Australia unless it is submitted as evidence in the parenting orders application. As such, the FCCA would need to be given line of sight on the affidavit being referenced by the mother if that affidavit is not otherwise filed for the purposes of the parenting orders.

I'm actually not sure what the protocol is for cross-referencing affidavits between matters, though. On the one hand, they're all statements of fact, but on the other, annexing someone else's affidavit without the deponent filing it as evidence in that particular matter is basically like introducing a witness without their consent and without the capacity of either party to cross-examine them on their evidence. I've seen this question asked many times, about whether a DVO affidavit can be used in a parenting matter, but I've never really found a clear answer. Perhaps best to ask your lawyer about it.

For your holiday in May, the Court won't care that you take holidays then, provided it doesn't clash with a directions hearing or anything like that.

As for the drug testing, I'm not sure what your partner's relationship with drugs is - if he does a hair follicle test, what's it going to show? If nothing, I think it would be prudent to complete the hair follicle tests that the mother is banking on to prove this alleged addiction. Hair follicle tests don't show short-term use - indeed, any drug use in the three to four weeks preceding the test won't actually show in the results because the traces are still in the follicle, not the hair sample - so obliging random requests for hair follicle tests is essentially a pointless exercise because the results don't show random drug use. On top of that a hair follicle test only really needs to be completed once between directions hearings, so you don't need to worry about facilitating random tests while overseas. You might look at seeking an interim order as follows:

1. In the week commencing [the Monday that falls at least six weeks after the date of the orders, but doesn't clash with your USA trip], the father shall undergo a hair follicle drug analysis test via chain of custody at an accredited pathology service, and results shall be provided to the mother within seven days of results being received;
2. The father shall not cut, dye or in any way alter the hair on his head from the date of these orders until such time that the father has undergone the hair follicle drug analysis test prescribed above;
3. The mother shall cover all costs associated with the hair follicle drug analysis testing prescribed in Orders 1 and 2 above.

If you don't want to do hair follicle testing, but are happy to comply with random testing, you might request something more like this:

1. Prior to the next directions hearing, the father shall undergo up to two random drug screen urinalysis tests at the request of the mother in writing via e-mail, with such testing to occur within 48 hours of the request being made and results provided to the mother within seven days of results becoming available;
2. In the event the mother requests a random drug screen urinalysis test whilst the father is travelling outside of the Commonwealth of Australia, the father shall complete the test within 48 hours of returning to the Commonwealth of Australia and results provided to the mother within seven days of results becoming available;
3. The mother shall cover all costs associated the drug screen urinalysis testing prescribed in Orders 1 and 2 above.

As for the prescription medication, forgive me, but I didn't realise the judge had requested the mother's list of medication. That's quite telling, I think, and if her affidavit states she didn't start using OxyContin until, say 2016, but her Medicare records shows she started using it in 2014, that's going to raise a lot of questions at the bench about whether or not the mother is trying to downplay the use of her prescription medication and why.

How you deal with it, though, is a matter to be discussed. Your partner can certainly raise prescription drug addiction as a concern in his affidavit, but he needs to make sure he can support it with his own observations, not just conclusions drawn from the subpoenaed Medicare record. His concerns need to lead to the Medicare subpoena, basically, rather than the Medicare subpoena leading to his concerns. For example, did he know she was using OxyContin before they split? Did she show any uncharacteristic behaviours, like irregular sleep patterns, confusion, paranoia, etc.? Did he feel that her use of OxyContin increased over time?

Summarily, the statement of fact in the affidavit is the behaviour observed by the father to cause him concern that the mother may be suffering from an untreated prescription drug addiction, the fractured skull issue and the mother failing to protect the kids from exposure to the abusive partner could be examples of why the father feels it's affecting her capacity as a parent, and the annexure supporting his concerns is the Medicare record.

Does that make sense?

On moving, I generally agree that frequent change of residence is not ideal for kids, but when considered against the many concerns raised here, complaining about a few changes of address feels a bit like a cheap shot. Unless the child is changing schools every two months which interrupts her education, or moving from city to city on a whim which interrupts her community connections and familial relationships, then a few changes of residency aren't going to be considered that detrimental to the kid. Who knows, maybe mum's reasons for relocating are perfectly valid - untenable rent increases, eviction due to a house sale, unworkable distance from house to the child's school - and let's be honest, there's a pretty good chance that dad would be a bit more empathetic to those circumstances if mum was a model co-parent, right?

Anyway, hope this helps.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

AllForHer, thanks again! I appreciate your concern and we understand you are offering guidance. We haven't had the best luck with lawyers so far, so we appreciate your time and how you explain things to us. My partner felt very down hearted after his call with his lawyer yesterday. The lawyer finally got back to him, and basically told him that the evidence the mother has provided will be accepted by the courts (mainly affidavits). Considering the whole affidavit is a lie, this has freaked my partner out a fair bit.

Yes I think a new affidavit from the grandmother will be ideal. So it is only addressing the two issues regarding our case: the fractured skull and the grandfather. Although now I think of it, we might ask her to write a little about the mother asking to live with her due to her ex's abuse and the mother continuing to take prescription medication around the child at her house. The grandmother has also advised she is going to ask her lawyer about the use of affidavits between cases.

I might have a chat with my partner in regards to the options with drug testing. The hair follicle testing we feel has been a way for the mother to try and control my partner and waste his money. She refused a urine drug test (assured to be of court standard) performed a couple of days before the child's 4th birthday stating it wasn't to her standard. This broke my partner. She wouldn't even allow a phone call. In regards to the mother covering the costs, is it likely that a judge would agree to this? I don't see the mother wanting to pay at all! Would it be an option to request hair follicle testing OR random drug testing? The mother is asserting she is struggling financially due to my partner so maybe we can suggest hair follicle testing, but random urine if the mother is concerned about the cost?

A quick question about the hair testing though, why would you request the test to be carried out 6 weeks from the date of the orders? Is this a normal practice so you are being tested in the middle of each trial?

The lawyer informed us that the mother had brought the topic up of her prescription drug use herself saying my partner was wrongly accusing her. We both felt that the judge was curious about the mother when we discovered he had requested the list of medications. The judge also requested change over's to be completed at a 24 hour police station. We feel the judge has done this to also protect my partner from more falsified complaints of abuse.

My partner has already addressed his concerns around the medication use in his first affidavit. He has always been concerned that the mother has continued to take the medication around the child and that she did not understand how doing this could be bad for a child. His lawyer felt this was enough to subpoena her prescription records before the first interim hearing.

In regards to the moving of home, our main concern is that the mother does not move locally within neighbouring suburbs, but moves around a 50 minute radius back and forth. We are concerned that with the child starting school next year she may enrol him in a school and then decide to move 30 mins away. Perhaps this is an issue that is best addressed before the final hearing rather than at the next hearing. Or maybe it’s an issue to take up with the courts if and when it happens. In regards to current living arrangements. Would a court be concerned if the mother was lying about her living arrangements and was actually living back home with the child along with her 5 other siblings and her mother and partner in a 4 bedroom home? Or would this not be of concern to them?

Is it possible to request the mother to be psychologically tested? Or will the judge make this decision based on what he sees in the court room?

I also feel it's worth mentioning that since before the first court date in December, the mother has cut off her phone and now all correspondence between my partner ad herself has to go through her mother's phone. We have been concerned that if there was an emergency and we needed to speak with the mother this could cause problems if they were not together and feel it is also getting in the way of both of the parents from being able to co-parent effectively.

My partner has an appointment with one of the specialists who has apparently been a part of the child’s autism diagnosis tomorrow morning. We wrote a letter to the doctor expressing our concern that the child had never shown these symptoms when in our care, the doctor then requested that my partner come in to discuss his concerns with him. Will be nice to finally get some clarification around the diagnosis. If the specialist does confirm that the child has not been diagnosed as autistic, is it possible to add in an order on our order application that requests the mother to supply any diagnosis of the child to the courts?

Sorry this post is so long again, there's just so many concerns and things we are still unsure of. Appreciate any advice!

 

[AllForHer]

Drug testing first.

Hair follicle tests work by taking a sample of hair from the scalp of the party being tested. The residual substances are present in the hair that is outside of the scalp, and the longer the sample, the further back the results will go for showing a drug habit.

For males who generally have short hair, it can be difficult to get a decent hair follicle test unless the hair is given time to grow, which is the reason for the six week period. Bleaching it, dying it, shaving it, etc. can alter the results, which is the reason for no alteration to hair on the head.

As to the issue of cost, dad has already said he doesn't have a drug habit. It's mum who is using this alleged drug habit as a reason to withhold the child from dad, so a hair follicle test advances her case, not yours. As such, it's in her interests to pay for this test, since it's her who is seeking it, and there's a pretty good chance that since mum is seeking it in her orders, the Court will make her pay for it. Parents can't expect to set up an complicated obstacle course to time with the kid and then have the other parent pay for it. Common sense says no.

For the record, I don't think the cost impost of a hair follicle test is that much more expensive than a urinalysis, and it's really not up to the Court to babysit parents through the cost of proceedings. If she was being reasonable, she probably wouldn't have to wear those costs, would she?

Oxycontin.

I don't have much more to add on this, but I do want to comment that the use of prescription medication around the child isn't really the core issue. OxyContin isn't really something you can give and take at will, it's designed for long-term use, so you really need to be addressing the impact of an addiction, rather than just the impact on the child of her taking it in front of him. Indeed, *not* taking it whenever she's got the kid in her care could be more problematic than if she just maintains the routine.

The core issue is that her use is bordering on addiction, and that addiction may be impairing her ability to make appropriate decisions as a parent.

The change of household issue.

I understand your concerns about the child being bounced between schools as mum moves from suburb to suburb, so what you might consider doing is seeking an order for which school the child attends and a restriction on either parent from relocating more than, say, 20km from that school's postcode.

My suggestion though is to first seek mediation with mum to discuss schooling. Don't just jump straight to the Court to make a decision without trying to first consult with mum, that rarely ever goes down well in Court.

As to the question about living arrangements, I honestly don't think the Court will put much weight on mum living with the grandmother. The Court doesn't condemn parents who can rely on a family support network to help look after the kid.

Mental health.

Look, I don't like when parents assert the other is suffering from a mental health condition when they really don't have the training to make such assertion, and I would be especially hesitant about seeking a psych assessment for someone who seems to spend an awful lot of time with doctors and psychologists for other reasons.

Surely someone would have said something by now if mum's mental health was in question? I think asking for a psych assessment would be a cheap shot and look like you're fishing for evidence. You're better off waiting to see what the report writer's view of the situation is before going down the mental health path.

Correspondence through grandma.

This is kind of tricky because mum may have perfectly valid reasons for disconnecting her phone, but I'll admit that's just not ordinary practice and it sounds a bit obstructive, but it's not for you to make that assertion to the Court. Tell the Court the factual statement about mum changing her communication method - 'On [date], I received a text message from the maternal grandmother advising the mother had disconnected her phone and that all communication with the mother should be forwarded to the maternal grandmother's phone number. A true and correct copy of the text message exchange is annexed hereto and marked X'.

You can voice your concerns as to why this is a problem - In light of the mother disconnecting her phone, I feel a communication book is an appropriate channel of communication between myself and the mother, however I concerned as to how I will communicate with the mother in the event of an emergency'. Let the Court decide what to do with that information.

The appointment with the specialist.

If the doctor confirms the child hasn't been diagnosed with autism, all you do is say something like 'On date, I attended an appointment with Dr XYZ to discuss treatment plans for X's autism. At the appointment, Dr XYZ advised the child had not been diagnosed with autism, but was diagnosed with whatever else. A certificate from the doctor as to the child's conditions is annexed hereto and marked X.' Don't take it above and beyond that.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Thanks again AllForHer. Yes my partner has curly hair that is usually kept quite short so that makes sense regarding the hair follicle test. Have you seen anyone offer both options (hair vs urine) before or best just to request the hair sample? If the mother is made the pay the costs my partner doesn’t have a problem with the hair test. My partner has actually asked the mother to request 2 random urine drug screens before the next court date, but she hasn’t replied to him.

I see what you mean about the housing situation. My partner will seek mediation with the mother if her change of address continues to occur down the line.

Regarding the psychological concerns, I appreciate your insight. The mother appears of have only started seeking specialists for the child since my partner lodged his court application. We feel the family reports will pick up on our concerns if we do get to the stage where a full report is ordered and completed, so will leave it in the courts hands.

We had a lovely chat with the paediatrician that had referred the child onto a psychologist this morning. He has confirmed that the child has not been diagnosed with anything as of yet as the testing can take up to 6 visits and he also confirmed that the mother only visited him in November and would be surprised if the child has had even one appointment with the psychologist yet due to the holidays (there had been no further correspondence between them either).

He was quite concerned that the mother had refused to inform the father of the appointment and is going to request to the psychologist that my partner be a part of the process. He is going to write a letter to my partner, the mother and the psychologist that can be used for court. He also wasn’t too impressed when he saw that the mother had stated the child had been diagnosed and that my partner had been aware for over 2 years and was in denial about it and causing the child psychological harm. He is concerned that the child appears to be behind in terms of language and understanding. Me and my partner have been concerned that the child seems to be behind in language for a while so are happy that the child is getting the specialist attention he needs. Definitely a positive out of all of this!

We have another appointment on Saturday with the GP who wrote the letter that the mother supplied to the courts, stating that the child needed extra support due to his diagnosed autism, coeliac and eczema. We are hoping she can also shed some light around these diagnoses and our concerns, but we think this might be a GP the mother’s mother has seen for many years so are not sure if she will be as forthcoming as the paediatrician was.

 

[AllForHer]

Hair follicle tests and urinalysis screens serve different purposes in the Courtroom.

A hair follicle test provides information about long-term drug use. A parent alleging the other parent is suffering from an addiction would seek a hair follicle test.

A random urinalysis screen is more like 'catching a person out' when they're using it on a recreational basis. A parent alleging the other parent gets high when the child is in their care would seek random urinalysis screenings.

You can do both, but if mum just wants a hair follicle test, then just let her have her hair follicle test, and if dad is confident the results will show nothing of concern, then let her do with the results what she wants. Don't offer yourself up for more obligations than is necessary, there is no need to go above and beyond on these kinds of issues.

That's really great about the paediatrician, by the way. It makes mum look a bit like she's trying to fabricate some evidence to advance her case, too. Don't hone in on this - just state the facts, let the Court draw the conclusions itself.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi AllForHer, we are going with the hair follicle test. Want to put a stop to these drug allegations once and for all!
We were very happy after speaking with the paediatrician. The GP who has diagnosed the child as coeliac has also confirmed the child is too young to have the procedure to diagnose the illness and so has based her diagnosis on the mother's reported symptoms regarding the child and the fact that a blood test showed he had a genetic marker for it.. blood test again was performed in September, once the mother was aware my partner was going to apply for court.

My partner's mother also had her DVO case today. The mother dropped the case so long as the grandmother signed an agreement to stay out of the child's life for 5 years. We are hoping that my partner can still apply to have access given to his mother and if the judge agrees, we hope this will over rule the agreement made?

My partner's father was present all day standing with the mother. In regards to the grandfather and adding in a new order to stop contact with him, when I spoke with the federal circuit court to ask a few questions in regards to what forms to use etc. the person on the phone informed me instead of using an 'application in a case' she said we should be submitted 'amended initiating orders'.

My partner would def want the grandfather kept away long term but we weren't sure if it would be better to submit an application in a case now and amend the initiating orders later? Can anyone advise? All a little confusing.
Thanks

 

[sammy01]

Forget an order to keep grandad away. If Grandad is that bad Docs will deal with. It makes you seem petty, and it is hard to enforce - kid lives with mum... Kid comes home and says grandad was there. What then? You can't enforce it.

Sorry but you guys have to learn to play better. So instead of paternal grandma accepting a 1 year AVO, you agreed to no granny for 5 years? In the hope you can get it fixed by spending more money on court later on? It will take 1 year to get court to change the order and more importantly, it is mixing state criminal law with federal family law. Messy.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi Sammy, I don't understand how DOCS will deal with my partner's father situation sorry? He was found to be abusive to his kids when my partner was young and agreed to spending no time with the children at the recommendation of DOCS and the family court specialists. This was years ago now, but we don't feel the mother should be able to contact such a horrible man and bring him into the child's life against my partner's wishes, when she knows of the abuse and what he is capable of around children. We think the judge should know that the mother is knowingly putting a child around a dangerous man, for the second time.

Regarding the DVO, that was out of our hands. My partners mother's holds support therapy sessions for women of domestic violence, and felt the DVO could impact on her volunteer work. The agreement was out of the courts.

While we talk of DVO's however, we had a lovely greeting when we got home today, with two police officers waiting at our property. The mother has now filed a DVO against my partner. Her reasons seem to be because she thinks my partner's mother is messaging her through his phone? Other than that I can't actually see what her argument is.

Either way, we are thinking of just accepting the DVO as we can't be bothered wasting time with it and would rather focus on the child court case. But advice here would be appreciated! I think the mother thinks if this gets this DVO passed then my partner will not get access to his son. But my understanding is that the federal circuit courts orders will still stand even if my partner accepts this?