NSW Ex Quit Job to Avoid Child Support and Spousal Maintenance?

[sammy01]

I reckon that is pretty sexist too mate.

The family law act and rules about child support are gender neutral... The flaws in the system are not related to gender they are related to individuals doing all they can to avoid their responsibility and or seek vengeance on their ex.

I just did my tax. My ex gets to find out how much I earn - I get to find out that my ex claims last year that she earned $6000.... She is in Europe right now. I suppose having a mobile home to travel about in, on top of the the holiday to America and the holiday in Europe impact on her ability to earn an income Australia and that is why her taxable income is so low.

I hate the fact that the ex gets to find out how much I earn and I get to see the bleeding obvious about her income. But it is a necessary part of the system so there is transparency. The system also allows me to lodge a dispute about her $6000 of income. I reckon I'd win too but given she is a self employed person ATO and CSA will have no chance of getting a cent out of her for child support...

But my point is this - the system allows me to challenge the decisions because my ex is clearly either minimising income to avoid child support or is hiding income.

As the OP asked - the system allows for a parent to reduce their work if they have a health condition. It also allows a parent to increase their income by taking on a second job or what ever to help them recover from the costs of separation.

But the one thing the system doesn't do is facilitate sexism. Good. Sadly the system is up for abuse from unscrupulous people. Some of whom are male and some of whom are female... Bad.

 

[Livelovelaugh]

My case currently with lawyers but he thinks he's awfully clever giving up a mega job and do the whole "need to give up work due to stress and mental health issues" when I know (for a fact) it's all crap. I know he will be leaving his employer of 15+ years and throwing in the towel as to avoid decent Child Support, spousal maintenance, etc. Our marriage was 16 years.

I already know he's doing this and will be setting up his own business, no doubt consulting with the same company he's always been with. Anybody able to help me with how to get around this? Of course we'll request his Company put everything in writing but can I seek a guarantee from them that they will no longer retain his services, even in a consultancy capacity?

I'll ride it out as I have no choice but I seriously had to laugh when his lawyer wrote the letter thinking it all sounded just soooooooo original. Not.

Anybody able to give me any tips? (Me: SAHM for duration of marriage. Our daughter has special needs and I have chronic health problems and this is why he's nervous - don't bloody blame him. Ugh.)

Hello EBDani,

Please let me know if you’ve found a resolution.

Regards

 

[Livelovelaugh]

"What kind of additional stress are you talking about, can I ask"
sure ask away...
here are some answers...
Being deprived access to your kids by the which happens all too often.. I reckon that scores pretty highly...
The insane costs involved in going to court to get acccess to the kids - would be pretty stressful
Having an arrogant sexist pig that thinks men dont have feelings as as ex would add to the mix? What stress is a gender specific illness now is it?
If the wife is the one that ends the relationship which it is reasonable to assume would be at least half of all marriage break ups, then the man has all of a sudden had his heart broken... But that would not be stressful in your world right, because he is a man... Hmmm...
Moving house is stressfull true? Well one would expect that when marriages end there would be instances where the man all of a sudden finds himself having to find somewhere to live while the wife stays in the family home... But that would be a bundle of laughs for him, no stress there.

So what makes me feel that the two parties could possibly be equal in their stress levels? because I believe in gender equality... You don't and that is why it is legitimate for me to call you a sexist pig.

Wow, sammy01, I thought sarcasm was the worst of you but it appears it wasn’t.

You just can’t respect any opinion that is not in line with yours. You either find them hilarious or burst in anger and use inappropriate language (I will try to report abusive behaviour here). No wonder your relationship could be challenging. I really can relate to the other party who is assumably trying to stay away from you.

Now about stress that doesn’t allow to pay child support or maintenance.

Stress over a broken relationship is present on both sides of ended relationship, but if it doesn’t stop one party from caring for the child(ren), so it shouldn’t stop other party to contribute financially in the process. And all “gets his head around this whole family law crap” looks quite pathetic as it’s an attempt to abandon child(ren) he must be responsible for.

Moving house, yes, stressful, but so is staying at a place where your family broke and paying financial compensation for it. Leaving party usually gets compensation so there is no win or lose here. You didn’t just wave and walk away, did you?

You probably didn’t walk away jobless too, right? All years that your wife stayed at home with children, going through very difficult times (please don’t mention your work, I’ve done both), you were able to develop your career. Most women don’t and after divorce never will have a chance to.

Did you decide back then it was naturally easier and better for children that mother nurtures them while father works? That she can probably catch up later? Most men did. And now that the plan didn’t work, parties end up financially on very different levels. Where is equality here?

About access to the children. Both parties are entitled for a 50% of time with them (assuming that you have no legal or behaviour issues there). If you really want it, go and fight for it. Cost would be insane for both parties so you may be able to agree before reaching the court.

Just be aware, you may get 100% instead. Does it work for you? You’ll have all access in the world and other party may have to pay child support. The only thing - you won’t have any time for sarcasm anymore.

As an explanation why this may easily happen - a friend of mine has two beautiful boys who are teenagers now. They’d lived life between two swords for many years, spending time at both places, facing all fights and disagreements between two people who dislike each other badly. And now, after years, that the father decided he doesn’t need it anymore, the boys are so relieved and say that their whole life was broken into two parts - dark years, where they had to always choose, beware and be part of confrontation, and light part - where they just live.

They both now see specialists for their depression and anxiety. Many parents when put in front of the choice to take their children and themselves through this, make a decision not to.

 

[sammy01]

Actually, I respect your right to an opinion.... Absolutely. But I equally have that right too...

Looks like we agree on lots of stuff. You said, "Stress over a broken relationship is present on both sides of ended relationship" I agree with you. Stress is not gender specific. So I had a go at the OP about that sexist assumption. You appear to have a sexist assumption too.... BTW a bloke posted here and what he said was sexist and I had a go at him too.

U'm so both parties are entitled to 50% care? Yes according to the law. I'm also happy to pay my taxes on this one... See I have a job so I I was not entitled to legal aid. I spent money on a solicitor. But the ex had legal aid. But I'm glad that she had access to legal aid so that she could have legal representation too. See what I'm getting at is I want the system to be as fair as it can be and I think part of that is encouraging folk to not make sexist assumptions regardless of their gender... And that is what you have done.

Now - go make a nice cuppa tea before reading on...

So you wrote:

"Just be aware, you may get 100% instead. Does it work for you? You’ll have all access in the world and other party may have to pay child support. The only thing - you won’t have any time for sarcasm anymore. "

Kids live with me 84% of the time. Kids live with me 84% of the time. Yup wrote it twice - how is your tea? The ex is in Europe right now, went to South America earlier this year. She tells child support she earned $7000 last financial year. so no child support, I'm raising these three kids with no financial support. How is your cuppa?...

But to be fair, she cant exactly work in Australia while travelling the world. So having given up on the system that you tell me entitles me to 50% care I accepted less because I could not afford the fight against the free legal aid solicitor and the stress was impacting my capacity to function.. So shortly after accepting less than 50% care and accepting an asset division that gave the ex a disproportionate share of the pie (based on the premise that she was gonna be the primary carer for years to come) the ex dropt the kids off at my door and uttered something about how I'll be calling her in a few months begging her to take them from me... That was 3 years ago. Nice cuppa tea is it?

And there was no sarcasm in my post. It was just an opinion that differs from yours. Marriage break up is stressful. It is stressful on both parties. If one has been the primary income earner that will likely continue and If that person tries to minimise income to avoid child support, well there are rules within the system that can either catch that person out if they are scamming or facilitate it if they are not. That is good, that is pretty fair.

But none of this is gender specific and none of it should be and if disagree then you are sexist... You're welcome to it too... And I'm welcome to disagree and I do.

 

[Livelovelaugh]

Actually, I respect your right to an opinion.... Absolutely. But I equally have that right too...
Looks like we agree on lots of stuff. YOU SAID "Stress over a broken relationship is present on both sides of ended relationship" I agree with you. Stress is not gender specific. So I had a go at the OP about that sexist assumption. You appear to have a sexist assumption too.... BTW a bloke posted here and what he said was sexist and I had a go at him too.

U'm so both parties are entitled to 50% care? Yes according to the law. I'm also happy to pay my taxes on this one... See I have a job so I I was not entitled to legal aid. I spent money on a solicitor. But the ex had legal aid. But I'm glad that she had access to legal aid so that she could have legal representation too. See what I'm getting at is I want the system to be as fair as it can be and I think part of that is encouraging folk to not make sexist assumptions regardless of their gender... And that is what you have done.

Now - go make a nice cuppa tea before reading on...
So you wrote:
"Just be aware, you may get 100% instead. Does it work for you? You’ll have all access in the world and other party may have to pay child support. The only thing - you won’t have any time for sarcasm anymore. "

Kids live with me 84% of the time. Kids live with me 84% of the time. Yup wrote it twice - how is your tea? The ex is in Europe right now, went to South America earlier this year. She tells child support she earned $7000 last financial year. so no child support, I'm raising these three kids with no financial support. How is your cuppa?... BUT to be fair, she cant exactly work in Australia while travelling the world. So having given up on the system that you tell me entitles me to 50% care I accepted less because I could not afford the fight against the free legal aid solicitor and the stress was impacting my capacity to function.. So shortly after accepting less than 50% care and accepting an asset division that gave the ex a disproportionate share of the pie (based on the premise that she was gonna be the primary carer for years to come) the ex dropt the kids off at my door and uttered something about how I'll be calling her in a few months begging her to take them from me... That was 3 years ago. Nice cuppa tea is it?

And there was no sarcasm in my post. It was just an opinion that differs from yours. Marriage break up is stressful. It is stressful on both parties. If one has been the primary income earner that will likely continue AND If that person tries to minimise income to avoid child support, well there are rules within the system that can either catch that person out if they are scamming or facilitate it if they are not. That is good, that is pretty fair.

But none of this is gender specific and none of it should be and if disagree then you are sexist... You're welcome to it too... And I'm welcome to disagree and I do.

Sammy01, as you definitely understand there is a difference between “sexist” and “sexist pig” and now you’re trying hard to leave the rude part out instead of apologising. That’s just funny.

Re. “Now - go make a nice cuppa tea before reading on... “. Sammy01, unfortunately it didn’t shock me. Seriously unfortunately. The reason why I thought your children lived with your ex partner is that you’ve previously mentioned deprived access to kids.

So you fought and now have all possible access to your children, but you still don’t sound very happy - lashing out at every comment here.

If it’s just the fact that your ex doesn’t want to pay Child support, then let’s hear what EBDani managed to achieve.

Or maybe someone else has an experience in a similar matter.

Doesn’t Child Support Agency do everything possible to get the support paid? As otherwise the government has to cover up for those parents who financially abandoned their children.

Even when you’re self employed (within Australia) you have to pay your tax, right? And CSA will see the amount. Work for unregistered cash is probably a bit extreme for an average person. So why is it so difficult?

Thank you

 

[Livelovelaugh]

My case currently with lawyers but he thinks he's awfully clever giving up a mega job and do the whole "need to give up work due to stress and mental health issues" when I know (for a fact) it's all crap. I know he will be leaving his employer of 15+ years and throwing in the towel as to avoid decent Child Support, spousal maintenance, etc. Our marriage was 16 years.

I already know he's doing this and will be setting up his own business, no doubt consulting with the same company he's always been with. Anybody able to help me with how to get around this? Of course we'll request his Company put everything in writing but can I seek a guarantee from them that they will no longer retain his services, even in a consultancy capacity?

I'll ride it out as I have no choice but I seriously had to laugh when his lawyer wrote the letter thinking it all sounded just soooooooo original. Not.

Anybody able to give me any tips? (Me: SAHM for duration of marriage. Our daughter has special needs and I have chronic health problems and this is why he's nervous - don't bloody blame him. Ugh.)

My case currently with lawyers but he thinks he's awfully clever giving up a mega job and do the whole "need to give up work due to stress and mental health issues" when I know (for a fact) it's all crap. I know he will be leaving his employer of 15+ years and throwing in the towel as to avoid decent Child Support, spousal maintenance, etc. Our marriage was 16 years.

I already know he's doing this and will be setting up his own business, no doubt consulting with the same company he's always been with. Anybody able to help me with how to get around this? Of course we'll request his Company put everything in writing but can I seek a guarantee from them that they will no longer retain his services, even in a consultancy capacity?

I'll ride it out as I have no choice but I seriously had to laugh when his lawyer wrote the letter thinking it all sounded just soooooooo original. Not.

Anybody able to give me any tips? (Me: SAHM for duration of marriage. Our daughter has special needs and I have chronic health problems and this is why he's nervous - don't bloody blame him. Ugh.)

EBDani,

Do you have any information to share on this matter?

 

[sammy01]

Nope, you're a sexist pig... Old mates comments were pretty sexist too. But I reckon your's were worse - just my opinion, and really we're probably splitting hairs...

Yep, I understand why you might have thought the kids lived with mum... That is the norm
You're assertion that "Men walk away most of the times free, with a job and whole future in front of them. " is sexist.
You then asked a question that question was "So what makes you feel that this two parties could possibly be equal in their stress and anxiety?" You seem to think men stress less? You're clearly not a male. And that is a sexist comment.Why don't you check out the male suicide rates in this country. Fair to say happy unstressed people don't top themselves?
HMM.

Thanks for your concern - I am actually perfectly happy and I don't lash out at every comment, just the blatantly stupid ones...

So to answer your questions. YEP Child support will do a fair bit to get child support. And yep even the self employed pay tax. But their capacity to scam is huge. So let me give you an example... Builder quotes to do renovations on your house, about $80 000 worth. He offers to do it for $70 000 cash. You agree to pay cash. Granted the $70 000 is not all income. He has to pay for materials and tools. But let's say that job takes 10 weeks and he pays himself $1500 a week. That is $15 000 he has paid himself as cash... No Tax... Now if that builder is separated and has 3 kids... That 10 week cash ini hand job is gonna cause his child support to fall considerably... But what if he does that for most of his work? So instead of declaring an income of about $80K he is declaring about $40K...

In my case, the ex works in an industry where cash payments are common practice. Given there have been 2 OS holidays this year I'm confident that CSA could investigate that and the website that advertises her business. ETC ETC BUT if her clients keep handing over cash that never goes into the bank... When is csa gonna garnish her wages? They're not... This is nothing to do with sexism btw.... I can't help but think there are phrases like 'deat beat dad' and 'drop kick dad' and 'dysney dad' but no such simmilar for women...