NSW Ex Quit Job to Avoid Child Support and Spousal Maintenance?

[EBDani]

My case currently with lawyers but he thinks he's awfully clever giving up a mega job and do the whole "need to give up work due to stress and mental health issues" when I know (for a fact) it's all crap. I know he will be leaving his employer of 15+ years and throwing in the towel as to avoid decent Child Support, spousal maintenance, etc. Our marriage was 16 years.

I already know he's doing this and will be setting up his own business, no doubt consulting with the same company he's always been with. Anybody able to help me with how to get around this? Of course we'll request his Company put everything in writing but can I seek a guarantee from them that they will no longer retain his services, even in a consultancy capacity?

I'll ride it out as I have no choice but I seriously had to laugh when his lawyer wrote the letter thinking it all sounded just soooooooo original. Not.

Anybody able to give me any tips? (Me: SAHM for duration of marriage. Our daughter has special needs and I have chronic health problems and this is why he's nervous - don't bloody blame him. Ugh.)

 

[sammy01]

Oh dear....

So I'm gonna give you a serve of sarcasm that is roughly appropriate to that you've mixed into your post.

When marriages break down, people suffer additional stress. I'm sure this thing has caused you some stress? Anxiety? But not him. Nooo, of course not... He is lying, he thinks he is soooo clever... But you know it is all crap. Poor you.... Someone should call him up and tell him how nasty he's been... That nasty man...

So let's deal with child support first. It is a pretty good system... He can claim he can't work. If he has a doctor's certificate then that could help his cause. But CSA will assess his income based on last year's tax return. so lets put last years income at $90 000.

If he claims an income of $0 this year then CSA will ask some question and will likely argue that he has the capacity to earn $90 000 and assess his child support income based on that. Kinda fixes the problem... Kinda...

See part of the problem is that if he winds up working cash in hand for example then it will become harder for CSA to know exactly what is income is... But quitting a job to avoid child support doesn't work...

But nope - he doesn't think he is awfully clever... He is dealing with a marriage break up with someone who appears to be a pretty stressful person to deal with... Why not read your post again and you just might see my point of view...


BTW if he was really clever he would find ways to make additional income in the first two yrs after separation. Why? Well there are provisions in the child support rules for additional income to be quarantined from child support. So maybe, just maybe he is reducing his work commitments in the short term while he gets his head around this whole family law crap because guess what - it is stressful.

Spousal maintenance - well now this is tricky. Spousal maintenance is not a given.... So when I read the last part of your post where you talk about daughter's health problems and your own and you say 'don't bloody blame him. Ugh" It would appear that you do blame him... So he made you and daughter sick? And hence he needs to pay more money?

Yup - you clearly do not understand how this stuff works....

Oh dear... Maybe, just maybe your expectations are out of wack with reality and in order to protect himself from an ex with a lack of understanding of the reality of family law and as such he is trying to protect some of his hard earnt from you....

Quick story... My ex got her solicitor to write a proposal for asset division... She wanted 105% of our stuff - yup 105%.... She was being unreasonable... She wound up with about 60%. But the solicitors got about 30% of our combined wealth. Why, all because she refused to accept that 105% was unreasonable.

So to help out with the whole spousal maintenance part of your question. how much do you want him to pay and for how long? And why do you think he should continue funding your life? See that is what divorce is about. The two people no longer have any responsibility towards each other... It kinda looks like you're keen to be rid of him, but you'd like to remain married to his wallet

 

[EBDani]

Yup, fair call Sammy01. I'll cop that on the chin. I guess the thing is I know *exactly* what his plan is but I can't blurt it so had to be a tad evasive I guess.

Yeah, look we're all stressed...and to be fair he's got a lot going on also but it's just annoying when it all gets down to game playing and leverage and tactics and lawyers - over it already and barely started.

Thanks for taking the time to respond but please know I'm doing everything I can to be patient - but after 17 years it all starts wearing a tad thin I guess. I'll let my lawyer nut it out and see how I go.

I often think about you as I always giggle when I see that 105% figure your XW was gunning for - I mean FGS, she needs to get back to school before she even thinks about acting old enough to be married, duh on the 100% and I laugh every time I see it. Thanks again anyhow....

 

[Lennon]

Of course we'll request his Company put everything in writing but can I seek a guarantee from them that they will no longer retain his services, even in a consultancy capacity? I'll ride it out as no choice but I seriously had to laugh when his lawyer wrote the letter thinking it all sounded just soooooooo original. Not.

You should be very careful about what you *think* you know about your ex-husband. His mental health is not suspended in time as at the date of separation. Do you claim to have some kind of special inside knowledge of these matters, or is it just based on your knowledge of him?

Why would you seek to prevent him from earning an income? Would that benefit either of you in any way?

Attempting to interfere with his business by writing to his former employer would frankly be a a disgusting thing to do.

 

[Time101]

Wow talk about cut throat with above 2 comments.

EBDani,,, here is my input.

I know exactly how u feel case ATM I'm going through the same thing.

Since you have s solicitor he should be doing and telling you all about this law system that's in place.

With me I got granted SM went through the courts in wa. I self represented myself .. Lots of paperwork to do but with my experience with lawyers is that .. They are highly expensive, don't really work for you and honestly you can do it yourself.

Magistrate for SM payments are based on his capacity to pay.. So he will have to produce paperwork with his expenditures on a weekly bases and write done how much he earns a week. If it nothing left over then SM will not be granted.

If you are asking for a specific amount you also need to show to the magistrate that u need that money .. Weekly expenditure and earnings need to be done.
The magistrate can turn around and say ... You are capable of working stacking shelfs at Woolworths or any packing Jobs. ( I say that cause that's what happened in a recent case with a work colleague.

The ones that win in he end are the lawyers.

Not sure what percentage you are asking for but if it is reasonable then the courts will grant you that amount.

With my ex he has done everything to stop paying CS even reduced his income to the lowest so he only has to pay a small amount.

If your ex does that and he can prove that his income has dropped by heaps then he might get away with it.

My ex dropped but he was questioned in court.

I wish you the best and please keep us posted.

Ps,, get onto your lawyer for answers and questions.

Good luck.

 

[Tim W]

My case currently with lawyers....

...in which case, you may find it unlikely that any of the (overt) lawyers here will make any comment.

 

[Clancy]

Quitting a job to avoid child support..... its something i have thought about, but this kind of decision is not made simply to avoid child support, the decision is made based on examining if what you earn is worth the effort of the job. (reward for effort)

All workers have to consider what wage a job is offering and decide if it is worth the effort or not. If Child support cuts you below that threshold whereby the job is no longer worth the effort, well of course you will quit..... again, see how its not about avoiding child support, its about weather or not the job is worth the effort based on the money you earn.

There is nothing wrong with taking on a lower paying job which is less stressful, easier to do, and your overall 'reward for effort' is higher because child support goes down for the lower paying job.

Personally i have not taken a lower paying job, i am already in a lower paying job, what i have done as a result of child support, is i have not bothered following opportunities for higher paying jobs..... but i might if i thought the reward for effort made it worth it!

 

[Livelovelaugh]

When marriages break down, people suffer additional stress. I'm sure this thing has caused you some stress? Anxiety? But not him. Nooo, of course not...
...you'd like to remain married to his wallet

What kind of additional stress are you talking about, can I ask?

Given that “Being determines consciousness”, what is it really that could cause a man in divorce any stress? Apart from CS.

Men walk away most of the times free, with a job and whole future in front of them. Women mostly stay as long time housewives and children to care for. In this case a child with disability too.

So what makes you feel that this two parties could possibly be equal in their stress and anxiety?

Thank you

 

[sammy01]

"What kind of additional stress are you talking about, can I ask?"

Sure ask away...

Here are some answers...

Being deprived access to your kids by the which happens all too often. I reckon that scores pretty highly. The insane costs involved in going to court to get acccess to the kids - would be pretty stressful.

Having an arrogant sexist pig that thinks men don't have feelings as the ex would add to the mix? What stress is a gender specific illness now is it?

If the wife is the one that ends the relationship which it is reasonable to assume would be at least half of all marriage break ups, then the man has all of a sudden had his heart broken... But that would not be stressful in your world right, because he is a man... Hmmm...

Moving house is stressful, true? Well one would expect that when marriages end there would be instances where the man all of a sudden finds himself having to find somewhere to live while the wife stays in the family home... But that would be a bundle of laughs for him, no stress there.

So what makes me feel that the two parties could possibly be equal in their stress levels? because I believe in gender equality... You don't and that is why it is legitimate for me to call you a sexist pig.

 

[MelbourneDad]

I do find it ironic that you have stated you have chronic health problems but you are unwilling to accept that your ex husband is experiencing any stress during his marriage break down.

Through all my reading on family law I find a common thread where as soon as the split happens woman have expectations of the man supporting them. We don't live in the 1960s any more. Woman can get well paid full time employment. They are not stuck at home with the kids as there is child care and after school care.

Unfortunately the Child support system seems to be based on a history of men abandoning their families in the 1960s and 1970s which was needed then. There are too many women choosing not to work. I think the Child support system should be based on both parents earning a 40 hour a week minimum wage unless you can categorically prove that you are incapacitated.

I am yet to read an article talking about women stepping up to take the reigns of earning the income to support their children in the latest copy of Feminist Monthly.

All very frustrating.