My ex was removed from our house on Sunday by the police on a family violence safety notice. On Monday we both appeared in court and an intervention order was put in place for 12 months which includes zero contact. He cut my access off to any money. I am currently not working due to chronic illness and the mortgage (in my name) is due in 5 days (which I am working on with the bank even though I have PTSD and am nursing injuries from the assault).
I have not had the time or strength to think much past the day to day trying to survive/what to do now stuff and never expected to receive a letter from the Dept of Land telling me that a caveat had been placed on the house. I mean he is moving quick since the letter is dated Wednesday (so 3 days after the assault) and I recognise that this is a control attempt by an abuser (have been speaking to a therapist).
I had been thinking that I would need to to sell the house quickly in order to escape from the repayments which I could not meet. The bank should give me 3 months grace (hopefully) but after that I and my credit rating are screwed. This does not even account for the other household bills that will need to be paid in the meantime including the insurance which is due on the 31/08 (I plan to go month to month and to put the contents as low as possible to reduce the premium).
From talking to a real estate agent tonight they have said they will not even consider selling the property until either the caveat has been lifted or I have a letter in writing from the caveator that they agree to the sale of the property. Well I have no idea where he is and the intervention order deems that he cannot contact me at all.
The next problem is that I have no money. Which means I have no money for a lawyer. I have a meeting in September to speak to legal aid about representation but the advice line has already said that they will require payment out of the sale of the house if they take my case. They quoted anywhere between $10K and $30K in costs depending on what happens. Which means I will come out of this with nothing. Especially since in the whole of our property settlement most of the items are things I brought with me into the relationship and he has a lot of credit card debt (gambling and alcohol addiction) that I am liable for simply by being married to him.
I was hoping, even though I am the victim, to settle it amicably through mediation rather than lawyers (cheapest option for me as they use a sliding scale based on your income) but I don't see how now. I was even going to ask the court to amend the intervention order to allow communication via email for the purpose of property settlement.
I was also going to be very fair and ask for either 70 or 60% in my favour (I paid all the deposits/stamp duty/ conveyancing fees and the mortgage on my own for two years prior to the relationship and paid either the whole mortgage & utilities or the majority of them [70/30 split at best] for at least 3 years of the 7 we lived together. Until 12 months ago we split everything 50/50 [so 3 years]. For the last year he has been paying 100% of the bills). I was also going to suggest no superannuation splitting or spousal maintenance. So I think I was being pretty fair.
But now (because of anger?) I feel like fighting for everything but not sure what I can do? I really just want him out of my life for good due to the years of abuse (2+ years of emotional and psychological abuse and 2 incidents of physical abuse in the last 8 months) so would probably settle for the 70 or 60%.
I thank anyone who has read all this and I am sorry if it is a bit of a ramble as I am not in a very good head space at the moment. Any advice is appreciated.
I have not had the time or strength to think much past the day to day trying to survive/what to do now stuff and never expected to receive a letter from the Dept of Land telling me that a caveat had been placed on the house. I mean he is moving quick since the letter is dated Wednesday (so 3 days after the assault) and I recognise that this is a control attempt by an abuser (have been speaking to a therapist).
I had been thinking that I would need to to sell the house quickly in order to escape from the repayments which I could not meet. The bank should give me 3 months grace (hopefully) but after that I and my credit rating are screwed. This does not even account for the other household bills that will need to be paid in the meantime including the insurance which is due on the 31/08 (I plan to go month to month and to put the contents as low as possible to reduce the premium).
From talking to a real estate agent tonight they have said they will not even consider selling the property until either the caveat has been lifted or I have a letter in writing from the caveator that they agree to the sale of the property. Well I have no idea where he is and the intervention order deems that he cannot contact me at all.
The next problem is that I have no money. Which means I have no money for a lawyer. I have a meeting in September to speak to legal aid about representation but the advice line has already said that they will require payment out of the sale of the house if they take my case. They quoted anywhere between $10K and $30K in costs depending on what happens. Which means I will come out of this with nothing. Especially since in the whole of our property settlement most of the items are things I brought with me into the relationship and he has a lot of credit card debt (gambling and alcohol addiction) that I am liable for simply by being married to him.
I was hoping, even though I am the victim, to settle it amicably through mediation rather than lawyers (cheapest option for me as they use a sliding scale based on your income) but I don't see how now. I was even going to ask the court to amend the intervention order to allow communication via email for the purpose of property settlement.
I was also going to be very fair and ask for either 70 or 60% in my favour (I paid all the deposits/stamp duty/ conveyancing fees and the mortgage on my own for two years prior to the relationship and paid either the whole mortgage & utilities or the majority of them [70/30 split at best] for at least 3 years of the 7 we lived together. Until 12 months ago we split everything 50/50 [so 3 years]. For the last year he has been paying 100% of the bills). I was also going to suggest no superannuation splitting or spousal maintenance. So I think I was being pretty fair.
But now (because of anger?) I feel like fighting for everything but not sure what I can do? I really just want him out of my life for good due to the years of abuse (2+ years of emotional and psychological abuse and 2 incidents of physical abuse in the last 8 months) so would probably settle for the 70 or 60%.
I thank anyone who has read all this and I am sorry if it is a bit of a ramble as I am not in a very good head space at the moment. Any advice is appreciated.
