NSW Enrolling for school but cant agree on school

[Trying2bfair]

I would just enrol him then. You did try. It's not like you didn't even consult with him about it.

As far as new partner, thay may just be the case. But personal story - I was the second wife to my ex (he has a daughter from first marriage). When my ex initiated mediation to get more time with daughter, the mother assumed I too was the driving force. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was young and selfishly, didn't want the daughter around anymore than she already was! Ex's daughter has lots of issues and I couldn't deal with her.

Anyway, just wanted to share as she was dead set convinced it was me who encouraged ex to pursue consent orders etc.

I find with the messiness of blended/ex families lots of assumptions can be made. Not saying it's not true just giving my experience.

The driving force unfortunately for his father is always that someone is watching, for example when he was in Australia he was terrible at doing his visits, dropping him back after 3 hours, canceling etc the second he went back to his home country and was living with his parents there was no missing Skype, planning trips back etc once he left his parents the Skype were whenever he could be bothered and barely a word about coming out for visits, now he has been dating this person (she also has two kids) its ramped up, like when he lived with his parents.
I dont think it's so much her wanting access to our son, but it's her asking questions, and because he has hardly been involved he cant answer them.
we had a huge fight when our son was two and he told me I owed him an apology for not having an abortion, I responded "you never had to stick around, I gave you an out and told you I could do it all by myself" his response was "yeah like that's an option, what would people think of me" not i couldn't abandon my son, how could i not be in his life, but what would everyone think of me if i had done that.
He is a narcissist, and a sociopath, he actually mimics people to create fake bonds and friendship, I notice after we were not on good terms, everytime he had a new important person in his life he switched his drink choice to theirs, with me he drank lattes, a business partner so then it was mochas, the new girlfriend came along it was chai tea etc etc he mimics interests, food choices, like seriously he just becomes a version of that person and he gets away with murder.
Because I stand up to him he pulls these stunts, it's all about tormenting me and really he wants to win and in this scenario he wins no matter what, I send him to private school I have confirmed his narrative of me to his girlfriend, see how I disregard him and block him from being in his sons life, I dont send him to private school, he loves that he stomped on my plans for our son and hurt me.
I'm definitely going to send our son to my school choice, I dont care if he tells the world I'm a giant meanie, i have countless pages of me offering time, rescheduling my life so he can see him, bending over backwards for them to have a relationship, I dont care what anybody else thinks of me.

 

[Trying2bfair]

You do realise that mediation is a negotiation?

If he doesn't have involvement in your son's life, the choice of schooling won't affect him, and there are no orders requiring you to agree on your son's schooling - just enrol him wherever you want. If he fights it, he's only going to make himself look like an idiot. Otherwise, you'll miss out on the school you want and go to the expense of undertaking legal proceedings.

If you're feeling kind-hearted, ask him to set out his objections in writing (if he hasn't already), and communicate your reasons in response. That way, if it does go to court you can hand up the reasons. Their unreasonableness won't impress a judge (who's probably more than likely to come from a private school background), and won't allow him to come up with more reasons without looking like a fool for not stating them in the first place.

Sorry Rob but could I ask what is the likelyhood of my sons father getting visitation in his home country with our son, it's a 3hr plane ride and our son is 5, I would like to think that with such limited contact that has happened that he would be required to visit him more here before sending him off to a foriegn country with strangers.
I would greatly appreciate any insight you could provide me on overseas visitation.

 

[Rob Legat - SBPL]

I'm not a family practitioner, so I couldn't competently answer that question for you. Perhaps someone else can.

 

[sammy01]

You notice that he changes his choice of coffee? That makes him a sociopath? u'm.... I realise you don't care what other people think of you. Good. I think you're a little bit crazy...

But since you asked, airlines have rules about flying young kids OS... Each airline has its own policy. When I looked into it I thin the age was about 8 or 9 and they had strict rules about pick up and drop off's.

Some light reading...
Thirty studies and 15 years later: review shows public schools produce same results
Private schools are not better. Of course you're within your rights to send the kid to a school of your choice and if dad took it to court his chance of winning are 4/5's of stuff all in my opinion.

 

[Trying2bfair]

You notice that he changes his choice of coffee? That makes him a sociopath? u'm.... I realise you don't care what other people think of you. Good. I think you're a little bit crazy...

But since you asked, airlines have rules about flying young kids OS... Each airline has its own policy. When I looked into it I thin the age was about 8 or 9 and they had strict rules about pick up and drop off's.

Some light reading...
Thirty studies and 15 years later: review shows public schools produce same results
Private schools are not better. Of course you're within your rights to send the kid to a school of your choice and if dad took it to court his chance of winning are 4/5's of stuff all in my opinion.

Hahaha I dont think he's a narcissist and a sociopath based solely on the coffee observations, that would be a bit nutty yes! I couldn't possible put all the things he has done on this forum, he has done some truly awful things while pretending to be friend, he is the king of gaslighting and DARVO, another example he has been caught out by my family members saying over and over to our child when he was young "yes mummy is scary isnt she, mummy is scary and crazy, you are afraid of her aren't you" when he thought he was alone with our son, when confronted he denied it and tried to say that I was probably doing that to our son about him and that's why I'm acting crazy and paranoid now, once the family member confirmed it he back peddles and claims that they invaded his privacy by spying on him, he is always the victim. Like I said I couldn't put down all the reasons for my belief it would take me days.

Thank you for the response on the planes, I wont mind when our son is older him flying to visit his dad in his home country, but I just think dad needs to be making more of an effort to visit him here, I mean if he can fund an overseas boys trip, I dont think its asking too much he visits his son. He also has only had 40 hours of contact in 18months, you cant just send a five year old off to a foriegn country for a week with a dad he barely knows, especially when he has never spent more than a night away from me, ideally I would love if dad would come to him, get a serviced apartment for the week and spent some time transitioning our son to spending overnights with dad and bonding.
By the time he Is 8 he will be in a much better place to spend half of school holidays with dad, i mean am i being unreasonable here???? Please tell me if you think I am.

And as for the public vs private, in this case its actually more because the school has a very different structure to standard teaching, so I really feel my child will get the best learning experience from this school because of who he is, but for example if I had a child that was more like myself this school would be an awful choice and not an option. Its 100% been selected because of who my child is and that's all that mattered to me when I was picking his school.