NSW Custody of Children After 1.5 Years of Separation - Help?

[Ximenalaballena]

Hi everyone. Very grateful for any opinions here.

My ex and I separated 1.5 years ago. We have wanted to avoid family court so after my ex initially refused anything even close to equal time, I’ve been allowing a very slow transition to an eventual equal time of custody of children. This was also as I was in temporary accommodation whereas I now have a home with a bedroom for each of our 3 kids.

School holidays is 50/50 in spite of very imbalanced term schedule.

1.5 years ago started with 2 nights a fortnight, and I would help with school drop etc as ‘additional time’ to see the kids. I fought her on this but she refused to allow anything else and I didn’t want it to go to court as we were both struggling financially.

And over the last 1.5 years have now transitioned to 65/35, I have them Monday, Tuesday and every second Sunday.

I am now requesting Monday, Tuesday (which I currently have) and every second weekend which is 56/44 in her favour. Allowing lots of rest time for the kids on weekends, no mid-weekend transition in addition to mid-week transition.

She works early and picks them up late and they have to go into before and after school when they are with her during the week, whereas I have arranged my schedule so that I am mostly able to do school drops when I have them during the week.

She is shooting me down and saying she ‘doesn’t want another change’, and that the family court doesn’t promote 50/50, but rather that the kids live with one parent, and ‘visit’ The other.

She’s saying if want a full weekend, I would have to give up one of my weeknights.

We are at a total roadblock and I’m not sure what to do.

I’ve been told the family courts usually start at 50/50.

I would be very happy with 56/44, which is only one additional night extra in a fortnight than what we have been doing for the last 6 months.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as it’s all starting to get extremely overwhelming and distressing.

 

[Hummingbird]

Doesn't sound like she has any valid reason to decline 50/50 beyond her own belief she is entitled to more. If you think the kids will manage the small change then go for it.

Your first step would be Relationships Australia mediation, to try and get her to agree amicably. If this doesn't work out, get the 60i certificate and you can take it to court if you like. I would recommend either obtaining a lawyer for advice at the beginning and post any unsuccessful mediation, or at the least consult a lawyer for advice and guidance if you decide to self- represent

Times are moving towards 50-50, if you were the one with more time than her I doubt she would hold the same opinion in reverse so go for it if you want it.

 

[sammy01]

Is your care exactly 35% according to Centrelink? The reason I ask is 35% is the exact cut off to ensure she keeps all the centrelink entitlements. Just so you know.

I think Hummingbird's opinion is spot on.

Apply to court if mediation fails and apply for 50/50. You just might find that the simple act of applying to court might be enough to cause her to pull her head in. The legislation states where practical a magistrate must consider 50/50.