Regarding just the FAMILY LAW aspect........ IF the parties were intending to seek a splitting order (via consent order), the fund trustee would have
1) first needed to have been given the prescribed forms to value the fund & provide that valuation to include in the draft
2) Been given at least 28 days notice prior to the filing of the draft consent order of
(a) the proposed terms of the split
(b) The opportunity to oppose the terms
The draft can not be filed until 28 days have passed since notifying the trustee (as long as the trustee has not objected)
So again, I can not see how they could not have known if a draft was filed.....
Just still leaves me thinking something else must be at play, perhaps other than family law.... I think you are going to have to have a lawyer look over things if they continue to stall