SA Child withheld against interim orders. No access. Issue with child care centre

[gunnerzzzz]

Hi.. So against interim orders the other parent is withholding our child.

I've already filed paperwork and affidavits etc and have a hearing but I've been denied all access. The other parent and the legal rep have ignored all correspondence about seeing my daughter.

There are no intervention orders. No violence. Not going to say things are fine on either front from both parties verbally though.

No risk to our child ever in care with the other parent.

The care arrangements have been in place overall since separation in early 2017.

Now... I will be dealing with the other parent on breaking orders at court, but after 21 days with no access, no help available to see my child outside of waiting for the court appearance and getting a judgement... I went to the day care centre to see my child.

I'm on file there as the parent. I introduced myself to the person coming to the entrance as wanting to see my child.

They have copies of the interim orders and would clearly see this is my time easily.

The rep of the day care centre said I have to make a phone call first and slammed the door in my face.

Never came back out.

She called the other parent... Who arrived 10 or so mins later and was immediately let in.

Now what action could I take against the day care centre?

No reason for me to be treated as such. Nothing can be provided to say Im not allowed to be near my child. They made no effort at all.

You already feel like crap when this happens as it is, with nothing you can do about it... But is this above board?

Thanks

 

[Tremaine]

Don't take action against the day care centre - effort in futility - but also, consider not going there again for now. Aside from the impact on the kid of seeing mum and dad duking it out in front of her day care, you also risk facing a DVO application which is really going to complicate the parenting proceedings. I know, it sucks, but you want to avoid giving mum any supporting evidence if she claims you're a bit reckless and make decisions unilaterally. If you keep a level head, it'll wind up being mum who appears as the problem.

From now until your court date, it's not a terrible idea to keep trying to see the kid. Two days prior to each scheduled care time, send a polite text to the ex and advise that you will be spending time with the child as per orders and expect her to comply. When she doesn't, don't fight, don't argue, don't take the bait, just write down a little note about what happened, how the time was missed, along with date and time. Then, just wait patiently for your next court date. There's not a great track record of judges condoning parents withholding kids, especially when there's no real reason for doing so.

 

[Tim W]

Now what action could I take against the day care centre?

None whatsoever.

 

[gunnerzzzz]

Don't take action against the day care centre - effort in futility - but also, consider not going there again for now. Aside from the impact on the kid of seeing mum and dad duking it out in front of her day care, you also risk facing a DVO application which is really going to complicate the parenting proceedings. I know, it sucks, but you want to avoid giving mum any supporting evidence if she claims you're a bit reckless and make decisions unilaterally. If you keep a level head, it'll wind up being mum who appears as the problem.

From now until your court date, it's not a terrible idea to keep trying to see the kid. Two days prior to each scheduled care time, send a polite text to the ex and advise that you will be spending time with the child as per orders and expect her to comply. When she doesn't, don't fight, don't argue, don't take the bait, just write down a little note about what happened, how the time was missed, along with date and time. Then, just wait patiently for your next court date. There's not a great track record of judges condoning parents withholding kids, especially when there's no real reason for doing so.

Yea thanks

Difficult to not get annoyed when the other parent blattenly ignores and rubs it in you're face.

I have messaged. When am I seeing my child and emailed her solicitor numerous times to never get an answer.

I just don't get how a centre with orders knowing it's my time, knowing there's no injunctions or whatever and not even bothering to discuss and make a decision like that.

I have contacted a section of the centres head office for the moment. For now I will just see what they say.

I did record the whole thing in my pocket anyway to prove down the line if the person there try's to say its any different.

Just gets extremely frustrating. You have orders and there's nothing or no one to help allow me to see my child.... And people just treat you like that on top.

 

[sammy01]

oh dear. HUG.
I'd be making an appointment with the manager of the place to talk about why you were treated that way. Don't tell them you recorded it - that comes with another world of problems.

But I'd be having a meeting and explain your perspective and see what they come up with.

 

[Atticus]

Agree.... First course of action is to set up a meeting..

All childcare service providers must have a policy that clearly sets out procedural arrangements for the collection of children. State and territory licensing and regulatory processes for the provision of childcare services stipulate that a child may only be collected from a childcare service by a parent or authorised person. The National Quality Standards under the National Quality Framework reiterate this position. >>>> Source >>> Who can collect a child from child care? Legal issues in child care - Early Childhood Australia

I would be asking if they have a copy of the FC orders & if so, in the future, as a parent you be allowed collection during the times allocated... Not saying it will work, BUT, that is your first course of action.

 

[Atticus]

Also ask them for a printout of past dates & times that the child has been left in their care.... Keep it (for FC proceedings) to demonstrate all the times mum has opted to put the child in care rather than allow visitation as per family court orders

 

[sammy01]

Ok so I'm with you man... Trust me... I know.
So Betty who looks after the kiddies room at Kiddie Care Centre has been trained in hygiene, group play and child protection. I'm a teacher in a high school I've done the same child protection training. It doesn't stay anything about this stuff. ZERO NUFFINK...

Now Betty, is a nice lady. Trying to do the best she can... Clearly your ex has been in poor Betty's ear and Betty has fallen for it...

So what you want is something in writing from the child care centre outlining what happened. So don't go into the place all guns firing... A letter from the director explaining that the workers at the joint did what they did because they were mislead by your ex is gonna help your case more than having a s**t fight with the child care centre.

 

[Tim W]

...ask for a printout...

And if they don't provide it, or come up with some nonsense about privacy,
then remind them that now, by consent, is less drama than next week, under subpoena.

 

[gunnerzzzz]

Thanks all for the advice. I have been in contact with the area manager responsible for the day care. Similar to what atticus suggested about pick ups is what the rep tried saying to me.

Obviously the parts where the person didn't even bother try asking who Iam, ask any side of my story to add or even bother coming back out after shutting the door in my face doesn't follow protocol though.

Or with their mission statement that says

"We exist purely to improve the lives of Australia's children and their families"

I suspect just like Sammy said the mother has put bs in the workers mind.

And they have an app. I have all documented times my daughter is there.

I think I have missed what Tim highlighted in reference to a print out? Is that the enrolment form? I have that... I'm down as the father on it.

I know some worker has been twisted by the mother into being this way... But it hardly promotes a family friendly environment and inclusion.

Just extra sickens me as the mother is ruining our daughters actual preschool. Under current arrangements it was impossible for her to facilitate 15 hrs a week.

She had been going wed and Thurs. Making progress. Even had extra one on one OT sessions on Fridays and was loving it.

Every step of the way the mother had all info forwarded. Been invited to events... Even attending a twilight kindy parents night and being welcomed by all the staff there.

The mother hid this place. This centre has never informed me of her any events in advance, never given me any feedback in terms of her overall development besides saying she played a board game and enjoyed it. Despite my asking.

And the first time I go there I'm treated like this.