VIC Are There Penalties for Making False Statements in an Affidavit?

[Jace]

Thanks for your help here, I really appreciate it

My son is 5 years old.

Interesting that you've suggested those options there - times to potentially be claimed with him (birthdays, Christmas, easter, etc). Pretty much everything you've written is exactly the things I've put in it. But I've been very specific and thorough (I can't help it, I previously did work in contract law). I have also suggested in the parenting order that both her and myself are to complete a post-parenting course. I know if I request that she does it but not me, it won't go down well. So I've put in that we both do it - and simply because I believe we would both benefit from it.

I've also covered a lot of other things in it, plugging up holes and things. Because she's been very difficult, I know she'll get out of everything she possibly could. So the parenting order I have written is 4 full pages, including 28 clauses and many sub-clauses. I've also put in there about being able to speak to him on the phone 2 nights per week when he's not with me. Being able to see him at karate. Lots of things that give me the same rights that any parent should have.

"She" has requested that I have a slower start with him, slowly ease-in to having more time with him so it's not such a culture shock of being with me all the time. I agreed that would be an easier transition for him, so I added in a 2-month "easing-in" period where I would have him one day each weekend. After the 2-month period is up, I'll have him overnight Friday nights, and the alternating weekend overnight Saturday nights.

So I'm trying to be entirely fair and even take on board her requests... showing I'm willing to negotiate, and trying to put the effort in. Hopefully, that all helps a little towards being successful

 

[Hope this helps]

Thanks for your help here, I really appreciate it

My son is 5 years old.

Interesting that you've suggested those options there - times to potentially be claimed with him (birthdays, Christmas, easter, etc). Pretty much everything you've written is exactly the things I've put in it. But I've been very specific and thorough (I can't help it, I previously did work in contract law). I have also suggested in the parenting order that both her and myself are to complete a post-parenting course. I know if I request that she does it but not me, it won't go down well. So I've put in that we both do it - and simply because I believe we would both benefit from it.

I've also covered a lot of other things in it, plugging up holes and things. Because she's been very difficult, I know she'll get out of everything she possibly could. So the parenting order I have written is 4 full pages, including 28 clauses and MANY sub-clauses. I've also put in there about being able to speak to him on the phone 2 nights per week when he's not with me... Being able to see him at karate... Lots of things that give me the same rights that any parent should have.

"She" has requested that I have a slower start with him, slowly ease-in to having more time with him so it's not such a culture shock of being with me all the time. I agreed that would be an easier transition for him, so I added in a 2-month "easing-in" period where I would have him one day each weekend. After the 2-month period is up, I'll have him overnight Friday nights, and the alternating weekend overnight Saturday nights.

So I'm trying to be entirely fair and even take on board her requests... showing I'm willing to negotiate, and trying to put the effort in. Hopefully that all helps a little towards being successful

Yes, it will. If your son is 5 years old then make your place kid friendly as in all cub boards, balconies, drawers in kitchen, laundry, medication, stairs etc and as I've said a room of his own.

Triple P parenting program is what they will send you on held at Relationship Australia. Relationship Australia also holds relationship counselling and co-parenting courses ( all short) so communication between each other for the child sake is pleasant and to avoid one of you using your son as a pawn. Just remember your relationship with the other is over but your role as parents and a father and mother to your son continues for the rest of your life.

Sounds like you have everything covered.

 

[Jace]

I've tried to make sure I've got everything covered.

To be honest.... my residence at the moment is quite a kid friendly property... I'm currently living with my parents. Due to prior circumstances, I'm looking for work (waiting on a call back, I think I've secured something long term) and when I find that I'll be able to sort out getting my own place. But my parents' house is very clean and tidy (I think they're OCD with it lol) and there's 2 guest bedrooms, so he would always have his own room to stay in when he is here, although it's not a permanent "his only" room at this point.

I have every intention of co-parenting with her and getting along just fine. Just need to get her to take the same position.

 

[Hope this helps]

I've tried to make sure I've got everything covered.

To be honest.... my residence at the moment is quite a kid friendly property... I'm currently living with my parents. Due to prior circumstances, I'm looking for work (waiting on a call back, I think I've secured something long term) and when I find that I'll be able to sort out getting my own place. But my parents' house is very clean and tidy (I think they're OCD with it lol) and there's 2 guest bedrooms, so he would always have his own room to stay in when he is here, although it's not a permanent "his only" room at this point.

I have every intention of co-parenting with her and getting along just fine. Just need to get her to take the same position.

If, or when he starts school, make sure you place in your affidavit or bring it up by asking the judge that the school sends you equally all newsletters, notices, kids school photos, etc. as I mentioned just don't include or think of the present but future. Co-parenting is one thing, but equal custody or residence whereby you both must know where each live and contactable, know the child's medical doctor, vaccinations, when he is ill or something medically happens so the school can ring either one of you.

This is where education, school he attends, religious, the works. Everything regarding bringing up a child and his development. All the best.

 

[Jace]

Once again, you've also thought of the things I've already put in there Honestly glad to know I'm on the right track.

Thanks again

 

[Hope this helps]

That's great!

 

[Jace]

Just coming back to update you

Double win today against her barrister.

First was getting a subpoena objection overturned.

And second, I'm now seeing my boy every weekend from next weekend onwards until the end of May when we meet for a family report, and an independent children's lawyer.

Tough judge though. The barrister had offered me every second weekend. I took it back to the courtroom and said to the judge I believe I'm entitled to more than that. He said "You're not entitled to anything unless I say you are" .. lol... but got through alright and got a pretty good agreement made

 

[AllForHer]

That's a great outcome! You will always find the family law judges very firm, simply because they don't want to see parents in their court fighting over their kids, but they are also very fair.

He is right, though - parents don't have any legal rights to their kids, it's the kids who have rights to their parents. Thus, you should try and get accustomed to talking about everything as what the kids are entitled to and what's in their best interests, rather than what you are entitled to. Doesn't it sound nicer to say "I think the kids are entitled to more time with me than that" than "I'm entitled to more than that"?

You should feel really positive about this outcome as an interim order though. If you've been granted overnight time so often in the interim, that's usually a good precursor to more balanced arrangements in the long run.

 

[Jace]

Thanks And yes, that does sound much better, saying about him being entitled to more, instead of me being entitled to more. After all, as much as I want to see him, it's all about what's best for him.

I don't have any overnight time as yet, I should have clarified that a bit further.

In easing-in to time with him again, so it's not such a "culture shock" for him, I've got him for 2 hours next weekend, then 3 hours the following weekend, then 4 hours every weekend until the end of May when we meet for a family report. Each weekend alternating Saturdays and Sundays.

Not entirely what I was hoping for, but it's definitely a big step in the right direction. And considering it's 8 weeks until we meet in court again, I'll take the 4 hours per week over the previous "nothing at all".

 

[Hope this helps]

Just coming back to update you

Double win today against her barrister.

First was getting a subpoena objection overturned.

And second, I'm now seeing my boy every weekend from next weekend onwards until the end of May when we meet for a family report, and an independent children's lawyer.

Tough judge though. The barrister had offered me every second weekend. I took it back to the courtroom and said to the judge I believe I'm entitled to more than that. He said "You're not entitled to anything unless I say you are" .. lol... but got through alright and got a pretty good agreement made

Bravo!