Hi - I'll try to keep it as concise as I can.
* Police took out full 2 year intervention order on behalf of wife and my three daughters aged in July 2018. She falsely alleged various things, including an assault, that police investigated. No charges were laid. I chose to accept the order without admissions.
* In September 2018 wife tells me the girls want to see me for father's day and hatches a parenting agreement signed by both of us - which we thought would give us some flexibility on the intervention order - this included a clause saying I could stay at the family home "as required" (yes I now know I should have gone back to magi's court and got the order amended so please don't bust my chops)
* In December 2018 she pleads with me to come back home full time to help care for our daughter with anorexia.
* In June 2018 wife needs me to look after kids at the family home for a month while she has an operation - daughter with anorexia is getting back on track with the assistance of both of us - I'm pretty much living there full time.
*In late January this year after a few problems and disagreements re children's schooling and other parenting matters, wife announces she is moving out to a rental because she sees no future with me.
* kids don't want to spend time with mum at the rental - I tell them while I won't force them to do anything they really need to spend time with their mum
* I have full time care of the kids at the family home from Feb, through March - two months non-stop - wife tells me via text she's happy with the job I'm doing and she's happy for them to stay with me during the impending coronavirus lockdown
* a few problems arise whenever I try to raise issue of how I am going to pay for eldest daughter's $20k a year school fees after losing my job - it always ends with wife screaming at me.
* problems also arise when I oppose eldest daughter - who is 14 - spending the night at her boyfriend's house. Am very clear thy at I'm okay with her having a boyfriend - just think it's a bit young for sleepovers. Whenever I voice an opposing view on parenting matters she always becomes extremely aggressive. It's like I am just there to pay the bills and that is that.
* early April wife wants to take eldest to the city to stay at her mother's house for an unspecified period - her mum is elderly, our eldest is scared of the whole coronavirus issue - I tell wife I'm not happy about it but don't stand in her way
* wife returns eldest a few days later, then a few days after that announces she wants to take the youngest to her mum's house - despite premier's warning that any travel should be essential and people shouldn't just be visiting each other - I voice my opposition to this as well. She pushes for eldest and middle daughter to go but they refuse because they want to stay at home with me.
* one Friday I head off to the supermarket, and ring home to touch base with my eldest who is beside herself in tears because her mother and the police are there. I later receive a text message from my wife who tells me I can't stay at the family home anymore - this is despite her having her own separate rental.
* Since her message suggests revocation of one clause (staying at the home) I head home to collect a computer and sim card - on arrival my eldest is distraught - telling me her mum is on the phone to triple zero - claiming I am breaching the intervention order. This has all come out of the blue and I am super confused, given the preceding two months have been fantastic with the kids, not withstanding the usual "clean your room" "empty the dishwasher" kind of directions. Lots of hiking, time in the veggie patch, cooking, board games, movie nights... you get the picture.
* I am later questioned by police over an alleged assault a week earlier that never happened - and the supposed "breach" of the order. I know our "agreement' is flimsy legal ground and I should have got the original order modified.
* Police who attended on the morning I was at the supermarket told me that the girls were so upset at being torn apart from me and the prospect of staying with their mother that they considered putting them in emergency care.
* I later received text messages from my eldest, saying she was terrified of her mother, who'd told her that she didn't care if I went and killed myself, and if she was so scared she should ring triple zero, my daughter said she was terrified and didn't know what to do. My youngest also sent an email saying she was scared of her mum and wanted me to come and rescue her. I didn't reply, fearing I would breach the order.
* I got in touch with local police, who went and did a welfare check, The officer who answered the phone was one of the two who attended the property the day before. I sent him the email and text from the girls alleging poor treatment at the hands of their mum. A sergeant who conducted the welfare check said the girls were okay physically and advised me he told them they could contact me if they wanted, since they weren't the subject of any intervention order. Their mother stopped them from doing so much to their distress which was expressed in text messages that I was not able to reply to.
* I have applied to the local magistrate's court to seek leave to vary the order (which I should have done in the first place) - namely taking the girls off the order, and getting the exclusion lifted on me attending the family home (since wife now lives elsewhere). I have been paying the mortgage there ever since the original order was taken out, and also paid child support. I think I have a good case - and am happy for the girls to be interviewed by whoever they need to be to express their point of view given they are 14, 13 and 10. They want to spend time with me. I don't care if the conditions concerning my wife remain, as I have no interest in having anything to do with her beyond sharing parental responsibilities.
* it has been years of misery with this woman - who I have endured for the sake of the children. I can't do it any longer and just want to move on. I am also considering taking out an intervention order against her, to stop her dropping around as she pleases and making my life hell with false accusations etc.
* any tips, views or advice would be greatly appreciated - yes I know I should have had the IVO varied the instant she suggested spending time with girls at the family home back in September 2018 - unfortunately I trusted her lawyer a little bit too much at the time.
* All I want is to go home and share parental responsibility 50-50.
* Police took out full 2 year intervention order on behalf of wife and my three daughters aged in July 2018. She falsely alleged various things, including an assault, that police investigated. No charges were laid. I chose to accept the order without admissions.
* In September 2018 wife tells me the girls want to see me for father's day and hatches a parenting agreement signed by both of us - which we thought would give us some flexibility on the intervention order - this included a clause saying I could stay at the family home "as required" (yes I now know I should have gone back to magi's court and got the order amended so please don't bust my chops)
* In December 2018 she pleads with me to come back home full time to help care for our daughter with anorexia.
* In June 2018 wife needs me to look after kids at the family home for a month while she has an operation - daughter with anorexia is getting back on track with the assistance of both of us - I'm pretty much living there full time.
*In late January this year after a few problems and disagreements re children's schooling and other parenting matters, wife announces she is moving out to a rental because she sees no future with me.
* kids don't want to spend time with mum at the rental - I tell them while I won't force them to do anything they really need to spend time with their mum
* I have full time care of the kids at the family home from Feb, through March - two months non-stop - wife tells me via text she's happy with the job I'm doing and she's happy for them to stay with me during the impending coronavirus lockdown
* a few problems arise whenever I try to raise issue of how I am going to pay for eldest daughter's $20k a year school fees after losing my job - it always ends with wife screaming at me.
* problems also arise when I oppose eldest daughter - who is 14 - spending the night at her boyfriend's house. Am very clear thy at I'm okay with her having a boyfriend - just think it's a bit young for sleepovers. Whenever I voice an opposing view on parenting matters she always becomes extremely aggressive. It's like I am just there to pay the bills and that is that.
* early April wife wants to take eldest to the city to stay at her mother's house for an unspecified period - her mum is elderly, our eldest is scared of the whole coronavirus issue - I tell wife I'm not happy about it but don't stand in her way
* wife returns eldest a few days later, then a few days after that announces she wants to take the youngest to her mum's house - despite premier's warning that any travel should be essential and people shouldn't just be visiting each other - I voice my opposition to this as well. She pushes for eldest and middle daughter to go but they refuse because they want to stay at home with me.
* one Friday I head off to the supermarket, and ring home to touch base with my eldest who is beside herself in tears because her mother and the police are there. I later receive a text message from my wife who tells me I can't stay at the family home anymore - this is despite her having her own separate rental.
* Since her message suggests revocation of one clause (staying at the home) I head home to collect a computer and sim card - on arrival my eldest is distraught - telling me her mum is on the phone to triple zero - claiming I am breaching the intervention order. This has all come out of the blue and I am super confused, given the preceding two months have been fantastic with the kids, not withstanding the usual "clean your room" "empty the dishwasher" kind of directions. Lots of hiking, time in the veggie patch, cooking, board games, movie nights... you get the picture.
* I am later questioned by police over an alleged assault a week earlier that never happened - and the supposed "breach" of the order. I know our "agreement' is flimsy legal ground and I should have got the original order modified.
* Police who attended on the morning I was at the supermarket told me that the girls were so upset at being torn apart from me and the prospect of staying with their mother that they considered putting them in emergency care.
* I later received text messages from my eldest, saying she was terrified of her mother, who'd told her that she didn't care if I went and killed myself, and if she was so scared she should ring triple zero, my daughter said she was terrified and didn't know what to do. My youngest also sent an email saying she was scared of her mum and wanted me to come and rescue her. I didn't reply, fearing I would breach the order.
* I got in touch with local police, who went and did a welfare check, The officer who answered the phone was one of the two who attended the property the day before. I sent him the email and text from the girls alleging poor treatment at the hands of their mum. A sergeant who conducted the welfare check said the girls were okay physically and advised me he told them they could contact me if they wanted, since they weren't the subject of any intervention order. Their mother stopped them from doing so much to their distress which was expressed in text messages that I was not able to reply to.
* I have applied to the local magistrate's court to seek leave to vary the order (which I should have done in the first place) - namely taking the girls off the order, and getting the exclusion lifted on me attending the family home (since wife now lives elsewhere). I have been paying the mortgage there ever since the original order was taken out, and also paid child support. I think I have a good case - and am happy for the girls to be interviewed by whoever they need to be to express their point of view given they are 14, 13 and 10. They want to spend time with me. I don't care if the conditions concerning my wife remain, as I have no interest in having anything to do with her beyond sharing parental responsibilities.
* it has been years of misery with this woman - who I have endured for the sake of the children. I can't do it any longer and just want to move on. I am also considering taking out an intervention order against her, to stop her dropping around as she pleases and making my life hell with false accusations etc.
* any tips, views or advice would be greatly appreciated - yes I know I should have had the IVO varied the instant she suggested spending time with girls at the family home back in September 2018 - unfortunately I trusted her lawyer a little bit too much at the time.
* All I want is to go home and share parental responsibility 50-50.
. Definitely going to be better off without her though... There is a lot to take in here. Could you just summarize for us .
