VIC Am I Breaching Family Court Orders?

[Shan_90]

Hi,

My ex-partner is not following final court orders. It has been 3 months and my ex has our son 5 nights a fortnight, one of the weeks being Thursday till Friday 3.30. Changeovers are to occur at a specific police station stated on the orders but the ex refuses to drop our son off there and tells me if I want our son, I have to go to another police station that is manned 24 hourly.

I tell him that it needs to be at the specified police station, but he blatantly refuses and tells me if I'm not where he wants to drop our son off, he will keep him until the next day and take him to kinder. I end up going to the police station to get my son, even though this police station is not in the orders. I feel if I don't go I won't get my son back.

Am I breaching the family court orders if I am going somewhere that isn't in the orders because he fails to go to the one stated in the orders? He also will not give me his new address and told me I need to take him to court and that doesn't agree with the drop off location. What should I do?

This is affecting my son and myself. My son is 5 and has autism. He needs structure and routine and his dad keeps breaking the orders. In total, there have been 10 breaches since March 2016 when final orders were made.

Any suggestions on what I should do would help. I'm so stressed right now and I feel he is getting away with it and making me breach the court orders.

 

[sammy01]

So how much further do you have to travel because the ex insists on using the 'other' police station?

Look there might be some logic in his insistence. So let me be devil's advocate.

My ex accused me of DV - got an AVO against me too. My ex initially refused to do drop off's / pick up's at the police station. She wanted to meet me at her preferred location so she could be a twit. So I found this very frustrating. I insisted she pick the kids up from the police station. She didn't have a choice. I had to pick the kids up from her location - otherwise she wouldn't hand them over. This was all very stupid but when she then went to the cop's and accused me of breaching the AVO because I swore at her, the cops asked her why she refuses to use the cop shop for changeovers if she felt she needed protecting.

So I reckon your ex is insisting on using a police station which is manned 24/7 to make sure that there is a police witness to make sure all goes peacefully. Now what is wrong with that?

So you could take him back to court because technically he is breaching the orders. Now if you chose to waste time/ money on that contravention and your ex used the defence I've mentioned above, I reckon it is a fair bet the magistrate might tell him to continue using the cop shop that is manned 24/7

Now if the court orders stipulate that you must give each other your residential addresses then he is breaching the orders. But again - Is it worth wasting time/money on court? Nope. Next time when you move house, don't tell him your address, or tell him the address and remind him that you're complying with the orders and being reasonable and he should do the same...

 

[Shan_90]

What I was meant to say was it isn't manned 24 hours.

 

[sammy01]

So what is the difference in travel time?

 

[Shan_90]

I have constantly reminded him he isn't following orders but he doesn't care. I don't see the point in having court orders if they aren't followed. There's no amount of kindness or negotiation or reminders that makes him think he should follow orders.

 

[Shan_90]

30 minutes.

I've been told to just follow the orders and not to change them in any way so that's what I'm doing. It should be the same both ways as it is best for our child.

 

[sammy01]

No court order is going to make an unreasonable person be reasonable or an idiot to become smart. So look, you could make a court application and do him for the breach. You could text him every time he breaches the orders to let him know that you'll use the text message as evidence to establish his history of failing to follow the orders.

But again - pick your battles. This is not a case that is gonna get heard anytime soon, not while the courts are clogged up with a whole lot of other parenting cases

 

[Shan_90]

Ok I understand. Thanks very much for your time replying.

 

[MartyK]

No, you are not breaching the orders, he is. Is your son having meltdowns because of the changed location? That anyone other than you or someone related to you could confirm? If yes, an issue. If no, then not.

Sometimes all an unreasonable parent needs is a bit of a push in the right direction. You could always get your lawyer to write a one off letter to him asking him to advise his new residential address and politely reminding him of the change over location as per the Court Orders?

 

[AllForHer]

This isn't worth lawyers and court fees, even if he is contravening the order. If it's not out of the way, just do it to keep the peace. I would argue your respective distressing over it would be causing the issues for the child, not the actual change to the location of the changeovers.