QLD Already Attended Mediation - Do I Have to Attend Again?

[SamAdhi]

Hi everyone

Does anyone know, if we attended mediation already for our child, and have a section 60, do I have to re-attend again if ex applies again? Can I refuse to attend since we already did and reached an agreement 4 months ago?

I am applying to court for consent orders for property settlement and child care, and would like to use the existing certificate.

The arrangement works and the child is used to it, these were my ex's words to my lawyer recently, but now few days later he is asking to attend again. My feel is that he wants the child equal time to give him better chance at property settlement or to pay less child support. I only just applied for a reassessment and now he has to pay his fair share which he thinks is too much.

He works fulltime while I work part time around school hours. He gets the child every second weekend. He can't handle him anymore. Ex doesn't cook he always feeds him bad food which is starting to show, ex already doesn't have time for him on the weekends when he takes him . He dumps him on others.

I worry when my child is at his house. I know he is his father and he deserves to spend time with him but the child's wellbeing comes first!

 

[AllForHer]

So, a s60I certificate is valid for 12 months after it's issued, meaning you don't have to attend mediation again if you don't want to, you can just file an initiating application for parenting orders with the Court.

What you should be aware of, though, is that if you're filing for consent orders, you actually need dad's consent for the orders. A parenting plan signed by both parties is not the synonymous with consent orders signed by both parties, and I would wager that if he's still seeking further mediation, then you probably aren't going to get his consent for the orders that you're filing for, meaning it will be a contested application.

Just as a general observation, dad is very, very likely to get a better deal for the child's care arrangements than what he's managed to secure through mediation so far. The every-other-weekend regime isn't generally supported by the legislation or the Court these days.

Indeed, the legislation holds that where shared parental responsibility is upheld, equal time must be considered by the Court, and if equal time is not deemed to be in the child's best interests, then the Court must consider what is known as substantial and significant time next, which is a combination of weekends, weekdays, holiday time and special occasions.

As an average, I'd say most non-resident parents end up with at least five nights a fortnight through Court, and since you haven't cited anything other than a diet that doesn't suit your preferences and getting the kid babysat from time to time (which is something most parents do, remember), you haven't really provided any persuasive reason why dad shouldn't have the kid more often.

As an FYI, you can't present 'he just wants the kid more to get out of child support' or 'he just wants the kid to improve his case for a property settlement' as arguments as to why the kid shouldn't spend more time with him. Both arguments are speculation, which is not evidence, and both will be debunked pretty quickly by the other parent.

 

[SamAdhi]

So, a s60I certificate is valid for 12 months after it's issued, meaning you don't have to attend mediation again if you don't want to, you can just file an initiating application for parenting orders with the Court.

What you should be aware of, though, is that if you're filing for consent orders, you actually need dad's consent for the orders. A parenting plan signed by both parties is not the synonymous with consent orders signed by both parties, and I would wager that if he's still seeking further mediation, then you probably aren't going to get his consent for the orders that you're filing for, meaning it will be a contested application.

Just as a general observation, dad is very, very likely to get a better deal for the child's care arrangements than what he's managed to secure through mediation so far. The every-other-weekend regime isn't generally supported by the legislation or the Court these days.

Indeed, the legislation holds that where shared parental responsibility is upheld, equal time must be considered by the Court, and if equal time is not deemed to be in the child's best interests, then the Court must consider what is known as substantial and significant time next, which is a combination of weekends, weekdays, holiday time and special occasions.

As an average, I'd say most non-resident parents end up with at least five nights a fortnight through Court, and since you haven't cited anything other than a diet that doesn't suit your preferences and getting the kid babysat from time to time (which is something most parents do, remember), you haven't really provided any persuasive reason why dad shouldn't have the kid more often.

As an FYI, you can't present 'he just wants the kid more to get out of child support' or 'he just wants the kid to improve his case for a property settlement' as arguments as to why the kid shouldn't spend more time with him. Both arguments are speculation, which is not evidence, and both will be debunked pretty quickly by the other parent.

Ex is wanting to have the child every weekend. I find this as unfair. I have him for the routine and he has him for the fun. Would the court allow that? I am happy to share during the weekdays but would love quality time with the child too

 

[Lennon]

Ex is wanting to have the child every weekend. I find this as unfair. I have him for the routine and he has him for the fun. Would the court allow that? I am happy to share during the weekdays but would love quality time with the child too

You said in your original post that he wants him for equal time, it sounds as though he wants him 7 days out of 14, not 4 days out of 14.

 

[AllForHer]

Well, that's vastly different to what you said in your original post, no?

If you're happy for dad to have the child during the week, why don't you attend mediation to discuss it?

 

[SamAdhi]

I said that my feel is that he wants him half the time, because i know 50/50 is a fair arrangement (if he can look after him) a lot of friend have that arrangement . At first mediation he insisted on having him all weekends because he can't have him during the week.

Recently, he sent a lot of threats with friends and through his second reply to my lawyer, saying that he wants full custody, that he is leaving his job so i will have to pay him when he takes full custody of Ben. He was complaining about how much money he has to pay me now to look after our child. The money that he pays doesn't even cover the extra curriculum activities, his understanding to child support is wrong. He thinks i pocket the money and spend it on myself. At the end of the week I do not have a spare dollar in my pocket! I live on a very tight budget. He is pissed because i asked for a review. His mediation request is one week after the re assessment was approved, as a matter of fact he hasn't even paid once the proper rate!

In his first reply to my lawyer he said that arrangement works and that it is not in Ben's interest to change it, this was when he was hardly paying anything, now, after couple of weeks he wants to go mediation because the arrangement doesn't work anymore!

So basically I don't know what he wants exactly, all i know is he is asking to have him more but for the wrong reasons and is playing games.


Thank you all

 

[AllForHer]

To me, it sounds like you're reaching conclusions and making speculations, instead of just talking to the father directly and finding out what is going on, so perhaps the best option here would be to just attend mediation again.

I manage the funds in our household, and honestly, I hated transferring even a single dollar to my husband's ex-wife for child support. She was spending thousands and thousands on a lawyer to try and keep my stepdaughter away from her dad, so to us, instead of my husband actually taking on the cost burden himself by looking after his daughter more often, we were inadvertently funding the legal bill that was obstructing him from doing so.

Nobody likes paying money to their ex, and even less so when they're paying a lawyer to keep their kids away from them, so perhaps you are better off accepting that as truth and stop acting like he should be thrilled be about the situation. On top of that, as you've already stated above, the reality is that actually caring for the kid himself is probably going to cost him more than what he pays in child support anyway, so the argument is basically redundant.

Attend mediation, or talk to the father directly. Work out what he wants, try and negotiate some middle ground. You really have nothing to lose.

 

[SamAdhi]

To me, it sounds like you're reaching conclusions and making speculations, instead of just talking to the father directly and finding out what is going on, so perhaps the best option here would be to just attend mediation again.

I manage the funds in our household, and honestly, I hated transferring even a single dollar to my husband's ex-wife for child support. She was spending thousands and thousands on a lawyer to try and keep my stepdaughter away from her dad, so to us, instead of my husband actually taking on the cost burden himself by looking after his daughter more often, we were inadvertently funding the legal bill that was obstructing him from doing so.

Nobody likes paying money to their ex, and even less so when they're paying a lawyer to keep their kids away from them, so perhaps you are better off accepting that as truth and stop acting like he should be thrilled be about the situation. On top of that, as you've already stated above, the reality is that actually caring for the kid himself is probably going to cost him more than what he pays in child support anyway, so the argument is basically redundant.

Attend mediation, or talk to the father directly. Work out what he wants, try and negotiate some middle ground. You really have nothing to lose.

Everybody situation is different. Sometimes you have no choice but to engage a lawyer, otherwise you get bullied by the ex, as in my case. As I said before he is doing it for the wrong reasons. They are not speculations...
There is a lot to my story then I am willing to share on this forum. I came to this forum to try and figure things out without asking my lawyer and save money.
I got what I needed, thank you all for help