QLD Long marriage, gambling problems, zero financial contribution from partner

[SAMSAM]

Hi everyone

I find myself in a situation that I never anticipated and would appreciate some advice. After 25 years of marriage, my wife recently decided to leave our family home, claiming unhappiness. She works and pays rent. Our 2 children are adults.

Here's a bit of background: The house we live in is in my name, with half of it actually inherited from my parents. it still has a little mortgage. Throughout our marriage, we both worked on and off to sustain our family life. I dedicated every dollar I earned to support our family, maintain our home, and help her family overseas. On the other hand, every dollar she earned went solely to her family abroad and she also has a gambling habit up until now.

Currently, she has a job, while I am unable to work. She has never contributed a single dollar towards our mortgage, and substantial amounts of money were sent overseas to support her parents, and sisters that are married. In fact, a significant portion of my parents' money also went to support her parents abroad. Throughout our marriage and until now, she had complete access to all our accounts and could withdraw money as needed, whereas I never had access to any of her accounts.

I understand that in the event of a divorce, assets are typically divided equally. The only significant asset we have is my house, which I hope to leave for our children. If she claims her share of the house, I won't be able to secure a loan to buy her out. also , I fear that any money she receives will be spent on gambling or sent overseas to her family, who already live a better lifestyle than us.

I'm seeking advice on how to proceed in this situation, considering my desire to secure a stable future for my children and myself. Any insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Atticus]

Some facts that may be hard for you to accept .

1) After 25 years of marriage & kids, your initial inheritance & contributions will have very little to no relevance in a final division.
2) Monetary & non monetary contributions to the house & family over the course of the marriage will be seen as equal.
3) Sending money to her family with your knowledge will have little to no bearing.
4) Using money for gambling with your knowledge will have little to no bearing.

A reasonable starting point will be a 50/50 division, then adjustments made for other factors such as future needs of both parties, based generally on your ages, health, skills & qualifications to gain employment etc.

Sitting down with a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner should be your first step in an attempt to find common ground that you can build on in an attempt to reach an agreement by consent as to how your assets will be divided, & a time frame in which to do it.

I'm seeking advice on how to proceed in this situation

If I had to give you just one piece of advice, it's avoid lawyers like the plague. At $500+ an hour plus crazy costs for paperwork & communication, filing etc, you could both easily be $10,000 out of pocket each before it reaches a court with zero progress made.

If you can both remain reasonable & realistic in your expectations, I recommend you try AMICA It's a government AI tool that is helping many separated couples navigate through the complexities to reach an acceptable outcome.