VIC What consequence is there when someone submits an Affidavit that utterly untrue?

[ZimDad]

I am a single Dad to my amazing 10 year old daughter. My ex and have co parented for 9 years using the same structure. I have my daughter every Fri/Sat/ Sun nights and all public holidays. Share school holidays. Gone reasonably well up until this year, although I would like my ex to show up to a school event or at least one Friday night basketball match. She doesn’t. It would also be nice if she didn’t leave my daughter alone all night at the age of 8, or to be found by police in a locked car in the city. Yup.

In January my ex lost her job and her rental property and asked if I could be the primary carer until she was back on her feet. Not even an issue for me and I happily said yes. In March I invited my ex to stay with us if she needed a roof over her head - and she accepted. I thought i was doing the right thing. Well, i was working upstairs and she packed my daughters bags and asked her Mother to drive down from regional Vic. Yes.. in my care and under my very own nose she relocated my daughter to live with her parents!!!!!!

Long story short, I cleared it with Police and went to collect my Daughter. She was with me right up until my ex issued court proceedings in June.

Wait for it. She submitted her Affidavit requesting that I never see my daughter again but can speak with her once a fortnight . She levelled accusations that i am a physically violent man and a child abuser! I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I have so much support from school parents , the community, and the school principal, but I can’t believe how someone can be allowed to get away with this type of approach and lie in an Affidavit about such serious allegations. Absolutely none of what she accused me of had ever taken place.

Why would you for 9 years hand your daughter over to a physically violent man and a child abuser, and then ask him to be the primary carer? Why?

It is disgusting how this angle can be used and to be able to get away with it. I am devastated In so many ways

Do I just let this happen and live under her lies?

 

[sammy01]

ok, so calm down. You have lots to be angry about. BUT CALM DOWN.

Sure she can accuse you of this and that. Let her... But the responsibility to prove any of it is on her....

Meanwhile it is your responsibility to prove that you're a great dad... By the sounds of things you're gonna have a much easier job doing that than the ex is of proving her case.

Those judges in them courts are not dumb....
Sadly the system is dumb and people can and do make outlandish accusations. But mate, what she is asking for is so far removed from commonsense that you're well on your way that your ex has actually helped your cause.

So help us out? what happned in June? Ex made an application in court? for an urgent recovery order? Where is the child now?

 

[ZimDad]

Thanks for responding Sammy.

She tried to bring the hearing forward for a recovery and interim orders but the Judge denied that. So it went ahead as scheduled on the 2nd June. Long story short we negotiated interim orders with a one week on week off arrangement. So I get more time with daughter than structure we had prior to Jan - good thing.

However, I don’t believe she is psychologically ok - sane minded people don’t accuse others of things that are just not true with the intent to destroy their life and cause everlasting pain for their child. So, I don’t believe she is finished with her game as we lead into a hearing for final orders in Nov.

I just don’t want to live with this mud against my name and I feel totally helpless in trying to prove the truth. I don’t want my daughter exposed to these accusations. I find this pyschologically abusive to both of us.

For someone to go this far has to be considered not to be of sound mind. How could I go about challenging her Affidavit to prove that she has sold a story a courts and that she poses a risk to my daughter.

 

[sammy01]

How could I go about challenging her Affidavit to prove that she has sold a story a courts? Good question... YOU DONT. She has to prove her story. Good luck with that luv.

Risk to daughter? yup she is kinda sorting that for you... Like I said these judges are not stupid. You don't have to prove she lied. You have to prove you're a great dad... In doing that, you're proving she lied. Focus on that and you'll do ok.

 

[ZimDad]

Great advice. Thank you so much. I appreciate your insight and clarity.

It’s a challenge to think clearly when you are in the thick of it, that is for sure.

Can I ask, are you a lawyer?

 

[sammy01]

Am I a lawyer? nope High school teacher. I teach legal studies. I also had a similar situation to you... (kinda) Ex took an avo on me. Had me removed from the house and the kids lives. She told everyone abou the 'dv'. Hard work for a bloke working as a teacher in a small town... Kids now live with me 80% of the time. But that is because the ex realised all her lies were unravelling and the best thing she could do to save face was to get on her horse and leave town...

So let's think this thru. Despite all her BS allegations, the magistrate clearly didn't care much for the allegations. TRUE? Ater all if there was reason to believe the kid was at risk in your care the judge would not have agreed to interim orders for 50/50.

Frankly, the mistake you made was agreeing to 50/50. (maybe- see it is hard to criticise at this end of the internet, without the full story.)

So you wanna prove she is a liar. You don't have to... The judge has dismissed her lies. This also means the ex has lost all credibility.
My advice. If you're happy with the new 50/50 set up then great. Offer that as final consent orders. If the ex really wants to pursue this in court to get orders where you never see the kid again, then seek orders for you to be primary carer and the ex to have the child 4 nights a fortnight. Judge will have to decide which one looks more reasonable... I know which way I'd be betting...

 

[ZimDad]

Thanks mate!!i really appreciate your time, insights and support. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that you are doing ok now.

Take care.

 

[sammy01]

Mate doing awesome. When the eldest turned 5 and the single parent payment ended and when her friends and family got tired of hearing her whinge and when the new boyfriend decided to move 7 hours away gues what? She dumped the kids on me and told me I'll be calling her up in 6 months begging for her to take them. That was 5 years ago.

So yep, I'm doing ok...