Urgent help required please!
My wife is a diagnosed Bipolar II sufferer and has recently been told by her psychiatrist that she should seek help for sex addiction. Her condition has been deteriorating over the 16 years we've been together and her episodes have become worse.
The neglect and danger she puts the children in when she's in a manic state is unbelievable and I've had to fight tooth and nail in the past to make sure they're safe. During the last few episodes, I've managed to bring my 10-year old-back home after she was subjected to abuse and neglect in one case, and managed to keep her home in this last case as I refused, and quite frankly, wasn't opposed, to let her be in her mother's presence alone.
The part that breaks my heart is the fact that the last two times, she's not wanted to go with her mother in any case. This time, she refuses to see or speak with her unless I reassure her that "daddy will be there and just remember, mummy is sick, she loves you and this is not her". She still then puts conditions on seeing her mother like "She can't hug me or kiss me, she can't make a fuss and if she starts going off, we're out of there!"
Her mother's manic state not only leaves her incapable of making logical decisions, but in fact sees nothing wrong with some of the decisions she makes both while the kids are with her or not. As she is an adult, I can't force her hand on any decision she makes that affects her, but I can't have my children be influenced or affected by her reckless behaviour.
As I said, her condition has been diagnosed, her treatments documented and I have supporting evidence of everything I'm claiming and everything she has done that I believe will put my daughter in danger whilst in her custody/care. I understand you may think supervised visitations are an option however even when this has happened in the past, she has still managed to hurt my daughter verbally by telling her things like "we'll be together soon" or "I'll see you every day" or "I'll make sure I call you and hear your voice every day", and then never makes good on her promises.
This has happened so often that when I last asked my daughter if she wanted to see mum (not at her mum's behest, I was just thinking it could do both of them some good), her response was "Nah, maybe when she grows up a little".
My 17-year-old son wants nothing to do with his mother, and she absolutely adores her big brother. I get the feeling that every time she has to see her mum, she feels guilty; like she's betraying her big brother!
The stories are endless and as I said, I have evidence of every claim I'll be making, I just want to know 3 things:
- How much weight does her medical history carry?
- How much weight do my daughter's wishes carry?
- In the past, we've let her come back home because she's promised to seek help and follow through with it. She's only ever started therapy seriously and then things slowly deteriorate. I want sole custody of children and guardianship and due to previous occurrences (I think this is the 12th or 13th time she's left home/the marriage for varying periods), I will only consider allowing her mother to see our daughter after she goes through with therapy.
Do you think this is a reasonable request and if so, what are the chances of a judge ruling in this favour?
Thank you in advance
My wife is a diagnosed Bipolar II sufferer and has recently been told by her psychiatrist that she should seek help for sex addiction. Her condition has been deteriorating over the 16 years we've been together and her episodes have become worse.
The neglect and danger she puts the children in when she's in a manic state is unbelievable and I've had to fight tooth and nail in the past to make sure they're safe. During the last few episodes, I've managed to bring my 10-year old-back home after she was subjected to abuse and neglect in one case, and managed to keep her home in this last case as I refused, and quite frankly, wasn't opposed, to let her be in her mother's presence alone.
The part that breaks my heart is the fact that the last two times, she's not wanted to go with her mother in any case. This time, she refuses to see or speak with her unless I reassure her that "daddy will be there and just remember, mummy is sick, she loves you and this is not her". She still then puts conditions on seeing her mother like "She can't hug me or kiss me, she can't make a fuss and if she starts going off, we're out of there!"
Her mother's manic state not only leaves her incapable of making logical decisions, but in fact sees nothing wrong with some of the decisions she makes both while the kids are with her or not. As she is an adult, I can't force her hand on any decision she makes that affects her, but I can't have my children be influenced or affected by her reckless behaviour.
As I said, her condition has been diagnosed, her treatments documented and I have supporting evidence of everything I'm claiming and everything she has done that I believe will put my daughter in danger whilst in her custody/care. I understand you may think supervised visitations are an option however even when this has happened in the past, she has still managed to hurt my daughter verbally by telling her things like "we'll be together soon" or "I'll see you every day" or "I'll make sure I call you and hear your voice every day", and then never makes good on her promises.
This has happened so often that when I last asked my daughter if she wanted to see mum (not at her mum's behest, I was just thinking it could do both of them some good), her response was "Nah, maybe when she grows up a little".
My 17-year-old son wants nothing to do with his mother, and she absolutely adores her big brother. I get the feeling that every time she has to see her mum, she feels guilty; like she's betraying her big brother!
The stories are endless and as I said, I have evidence of every claim I'll be making, I just want to know 3 things:
- How much weight does her medical history carry?
- How much weight do my daughter's wishes carry?
- In the past, we've let her come back home because she's promised to seek help and follow through with it. She's only ever started therapy seriously and then things slowly deteriorate. I want sole custody of children and guardianship and due to previous occurrences (I think this is the 12th or 13th time she's left home/the marriage for varying periods), I will only consider allowing her mother to see our daughter after she goes through with therapy.
Do you think this is a reasonable request and if so, what are the chances of a judge ruling in this favour?
Thank you in advance