NSW Travel distance question

[ChrisC]

I have a question re travel time for children between houses.
Long back story but the general gist is that my partners ex is very high conflict and has dictated arrangements for years and refuses to enter into any kind of agreement. We lived about 30 mins away from her and the children up until November last year. At that point she moved another 30 mins away so there is an hour travel time between the two houses. She swore the kids to secrecy about the upcoming move and my partner received a text one morning saying that they had moved and the kids were changing schools.

Since September 2016 we have had 3 overnights EOW. Ex was okay with this as my partner was still paying her child support for 100% and she received a pension for the same.
After building up a pattern of this care over many months my partner finally decided that not having orders in place is a nightmare in general and decided to work towards getting them. He contacted CSA and told them that he has been having the kids for the overnights etc. They contacted her and she hit the roof. She withheld the children until she received a letter from partners solicitor saying he is seeking orders and has contacted Relationships Australia to start mediation (Again! his certificate expired two months ago) and should that fail again that he would be making an application to the court.

That seems to of made her think a bit as she allowed the kids to come this weekend but only for Friday and Saturday night. She wants them home Sunday evening instead of partner taking them to school on Monday morning like he normally does. She even went to the school at pickup time and took their school bags so he is forced to bring them back Sunday evening otherwise they won't have bags on Monday morning. This is a power game and we aren't engaging in it. Partner responded to her messages she sent laying down the law etc with a simple "so i can see the children I am agreeing to change our normal arrangement for this weekend"

Anyway this weekend the children told us that their mother told them about the legal letter and that the legal advice she received said that its illegal for children to have to travel so far to school. She responded directly to our solicitors letter asking for details of her legal representation just saying she will agree to mediation and I really doubt she has paid a lawyer for advice. She has occasionally mentioned the travel distance but that's normally in one of her blow ups. She was also happy to leave the kids with us on two separate occasions for two weeks with literally a days notice and didn't mention travel time then.

Is she right? Can she use this point in mediation or court?

Thanks in advance

 

[AllForHer]

So, some issues I have here.

1. Did dad agree to the change of school? If not, this should come up in Court. It shows she's quite okay with making decisions unilaterally, which the Court frowns upon.

2. An hour isn't really that long, but it depends where you are. From when I was in preschool until I was in grade 5, I travelled an hour each way for school, and that was on a bus. The question you need to ask is, can you handle the travel distance to school? If you can, then one pick-up and one drop-off a fortnight isn't going to cause them any harm. To the contrary, an hour in the car is kind of a good time to bond.

My view? Mum's tugging at some straws here, but since you may well find yourself on your way to Court soon, it's important that you play nice. Follow your lawyer's instructions, keep a level-head and don't enter into a back-and-forth bickerfest when she's feeling keen for an argument.

 

[ChrisC]

So, some issues I have here.

1. Did dad agree to the change of school? If not, this should come up in Court. It shows she's quite okay with making decisions unilaterally, which the Court frowns upon.

2. An hour isn't really that long, but it depends where you are. From when I was in preschool until I was in grade 5, I travelled an hour each way for school, and that was on a bus. The question you need to ask is, can you handle the travel distance to school? If you can, then one pick-up and one drop-off a fortnight isn't going to cause them any harm. To the contrary, an hour in the car is kind of a good time to bond.

My view? Mum's tugging at some straws here, but since you may well find yourself on your way to Court soon, it's important that you play nice. Follow your lawyer's instructions, keep a level-head and don't enter into a back-and-forth bickerfest when she's feeling keen for an argument.

Thank you for the response

1. No he was sent a text message after she had enrolled them at a new school and moved house. This is the second time she has done this.

2. Travel distance isn't an issue for us. My partner and I work about 15 mins away from the children's school. So he is heading in that direction for work anyway . The children have never seemed bothered by the commute, like you mentioned they enjoy the time in the car with Dad and chatting and listening to music.

We are playing very nice and business like. She sends dozens of texts a week full of foul language and abuse to partner and he just ignores them. He only responds if it is to do with the children and he keeps it professional and doesn't engage in anything else. That is why he is returning the children on Sunday night this week, its not worth the conflict.

 

[sammy01]

my advice - don't drop the kids home today... Do it tomorrow morning at 7.45am - plenty of time to get to school... Pick the kids up from school in a fortnight and do the same....

Don't do mediation it is a waste of time when one parent is 'the boss'. Tell RA that the ex is harassing and he feels intimidated, show them the text messages. Hopefully, they will give you a certificate without mediating....

Next - self represent. Unless you guys are really well off and have a spare $10 - 15 grand, I reckon you're better off using solicitors for a bit of advice and this site and self represent.
So once you get the certificate, here is what I reckon you should do. Write to her. Pretend you're a solicitor - so don't actually make up a solicitor, just write like one... So dear ex, please find attached a draft copy of proposed parenting consent orders. (you can find templates online OR write them with names etc removed and the good folk here will help make it look schmick.) I'd encourage you to offer a limited financial agreement. So offer her normal child support plus $XXX a fortnight. Advise her that you're happy to work with her in the best interest of the children blah blah and you want her to agree to the consent orders, however you're prepared to compromise in some respects - so you're not just telling her to sign... BUT you're gonna want a few very clear rules... She cant up and move further away etc etc without consent... Look she probably won't agree, even with a little bit of a financial inducement... But worth a try.

When that fails, apply to court. look if your partner isn't the sort of bloke who can confidently (or even kinda nervously) get up and talk to magistrate, then a solicitor might be a good idea. But you can do lots of the work (court applications etc) yourself to keep the costs down.

How old are the kids and what sort of final orders do you want?

So i'd be encouraging you to aim for 5 a fortnight and half holidays.... that is about 40% care.
So do you understand the family tax benefit brackets? less than 14% care means you pay full child support. More than15% you play less and (I think) she gets less child support. Same once you get above 35% care and then there is the possibility you guys could be entitled to some family tax benefit..

So If CSA call and ask about how much time. Tell the truth, but also tell them that this is because the ex is being a bully, there is no agreement and you're pursing it through the courts..... They hopefully with not increase payments because you're taking action to rectify the situation.